It's all me

MountainMomma · #1 September 10th, 2008, 11:02 AM

Well, I feel like I've just been slapped in the face. I've never said a word to him, but I've been so angry at DH because of TTC all this time. He was so sure he was the problem, and I had two kids so why would we think it was me. The doctors just called and said DH had GREAT swimmers.

They wanted equal or greater than :
count ~ 20 million
motility ~ 50%
morphology ~ 4%

DH's results:
count ~ 100 million
motility ~ 67.9%
morphology ~ 7%

The problem is all me!

I seriously can't stop crying. I never expected this. We knew that TTC was going to be a struggle because we *thought* he had low counts, but now.... WOW. I feel like such a failure!

madmum_sarah · #2 September 10th, 2008, 11:16 AM

hunny it may not be you at all! it could simply be stress and other factors!
if we all went through life blaming ourselves (i certainly do this all the time) then we will get no further with getting our sticky bean!
try to calm yourself down hunny. take a relaxing bath and chill out a while. cry if you need to but then get back up and start fighting for that bfp!
also now you know its not his swimmers, maybe they can do something to help you

xx

Wee3monkeys · #3 September 10th, 2008, 11:27 AM

Aww, Steph, don't look at it that way! There are a lot of factors that go onto successfully making a baby, it's HARD! That's great that DH's SA came back so good, that means there's one less thing to worry about, hun. You have two healthy kiddos, so we know you can get preggo too. Plus, things can change w/ your body from year to year, even cycle to cycle. The low progesterone can be a BIG deal, now that you know about that you'll get some help next time around. The things that go on in our bodies we have no control over, and that does not make you a failure!!! Figuring all of these things out will be a giant step, you guys will get your sticky bean soon, I can just feel it!!!

Big

Stephanie!!!!!

~Laurie~ · #4 September 10th, 2008, 11:57 AM

I'm sorry you're so upset. If he has great swimmers and you have two other children, then I would take that us a positive sign that you can can have another. I hope you get your sticky bean soon.

mom 2 haley & tyler · #5 September 10th, 2008, 12:17 PM

You are NOT a failure. You have 2 beautiful children. You will have another one. I just feel it.

kellyanne · #6 September 10th, 2008, 12:25 PM

I understand your feeling of being responsible. I feel that way too since I get pregnant so easily and just can't seem to stay pregnant. But please try to put that out of your mind and keep your chin up. You can have babies, we already know that. Now that his counts came back good, you know that you can have a baby with him. That's great news. I'm confident the RE is going to be able to help you.

jenn27 · #7 September 10th, 2008, 12:35 PM

Steph. Please pick that chin back up and think of this as a good thing. You are not a failure by any means. It will happen for you when the time is right. I know that is easier said than done but you have to believe that. My doctor said that if I was the one with something wrong, it would be easier to fix than if DH had a problem. It could be something as minor as your progesterone levels. You just never know. Everything is going to be fine and I am confident that the RE is going to help you and DH have your little miracle soon. Hang in there hun and SMILE!!!!!! We love ya and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

MountainMomma · #8 September 10th, 2008, 01:35 PM

After a good cry and a hot shower I'm feeling much better. It still sucks, but the RE really believes that this upcoming surgery paired with Clomid or Femara will help us, so instead of IUI we are sitting the next cycle out (for the surgery) and then will be trying on our own again for a few month.

~Lynda~ · #9 September 10th, 2008, 01:48 PM

hugs honey!!!

..Jessica.. · #10 September 10th, 2008, 02:31 PM

Oh Steph, you are most definitely NOT a failure!!! You have beautiful children!!! Now you just need your family to be complete with a baby by DH. And it WILL happen! These next procedures are exactly what you've been waiting for to give you that sticky bean, and it's going to happen!!!

Bakin8th · #11 September 10th, 2008, 05:18 PM

I am really sorry that you are going through this.

If it make you feel any better I am in the exact SAME baot and I have kids but It ok... At least with a diagnosis you can go from there..its a HUGE start.

I was informed today that I am the problem and dh does not EVEN have to see RE with me since his s/a was just fine its all me was her exact words LOL.

I always try to look for the blessings as small as they may be we can never can know how they will add up to one HUGE one in His time.

Feel free to PM any time