[Eleysia]

I am not considering running back, Im just wondering. He claims he never cheated (even though I think he might have, just cannot prove it), and that he is so sorry, and all this stuff. Is it possible he isnt lieing, and that he would actually do things right if given another chance?


(im not goin back, because I dont ever want to fight with him in front of Gavin again, and because Dammit... Ive payed for a divorce, im getting one )

[Mum2three]

you know what hunnie, its all in that person. I know Dwayne Changed for the better. when i met him he was like a teenager all over again. Drinking partying and even cheating. yup you read right. He even produced 2 other children while married to me. It caused us to split, i hated that booger. But you know what hun, he really wanted the family life. and was willing to change to have me and Alex back. i didnt take him back ASAP. it took over a year. he had lots of proving to do to me.

i do think that SOME people NOT all people can change for the better....

You better not be thinking about getting back together with that BOOGER...LOL..I will kick your a**...

men are sweet talkers and will say anything to get what they want

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

In my opinion I think everyone is capable of change but you have to conside what is best for you and Gavin. I know you would do anything for that little boy but you have to think about yourself too. I think you know in your heart the truth about what really happened with or without proof. I so hope you do what is best for you and I'm always here if you need anything.

[Eleysia]

I just dont know what to do. Im being mean to Will because Chad is being regretful. My heart is being ripped in half, and each peice is going in a different direction.

Brandy I dont know what im thinking. Im not thinking im going to go to him any time soon or even EVER im just so hurt and confused.

[Mum2three]

ok, would you just stop listening to what men are telling you???
DO what you feel is best!! Dont treat Will like anything cause of chad is saying. thats what he wants. he wants you and will to break up so he has a better chance getting with ya. DONT play his game. sorry im being mean, but if YOU really think he can change then just be FRIENDS. nothing more. you have moved on and he still hasnt. tell him to just back off, and the only thing he should be talking to you about is your son.
nothing more or less...

Sorry girl! I still love ya tho!!

[Eleysia]

Dont be sorry, ever. You have nothing to lose by being honest with me. Its what I need. You and Ang are both "out of the box" perspectives and I appreciate having them.

Im not going to give in, I feel horrible for being ######y and distant with will. Im gonna try my damdest to stop doing that. Thank you both, it helps to have someone to slap some sense into me when im being dumb lol.

[Mum2three]

love is a sickness of the mind

I just want to see you happy! and you are sooooo HAPPY!! Dont lose that hun!

on a side note, sometimes my attitude and mouth is a bit outspoken for some

[Brittanie]

I agree with Angie and Brandy. I honestly believe that every person is capable of changing. However, I also think that it takes a lot of work to change, and most people would rather "pretend" to change then actually put forth the effort. You do not owe him anything. He, however, owes you a lot. And if he truly wants to earn back your trust then he has to work for it, slowly, a piece at a time. You were so happy with Will. So much happier than you have been in a long while, and I think that speaks volumes. You deserve that happiness. Gavin deserves a happy you.

[Eleysia]

"You were so happy with Will. So much happier than you have been in a long while, and I think that speaks volumes. You deserve that happiness. Gavin deserves a happy you."

Youre right. I think I just got caught up in the hurt, and the longing for something familiar rather than the new pup that I have to house train and all the other things that come along with a new thing in your life. Its just growing pains, and I think you women are definatly my sanity.

Gavin does deserve a happy me, and a happy Chad, hopefully we can each give that to him. Im not going to lie, it kills me to see him hurt, but I need to just move on I guess

[diaza1012]

I am just a newbie here. I am sorry for looking at what you write to your friends. I just wanted to let you know that I went through the same thing. My ex-hubby cheated on me and I couldn't prove it and he told me he didn't and I listened to what he was saying. I ended up taking him back and after about two weeks, I thought everything was going good again but when I called his cell phone one day(when he was suppose to be at work) a girl answered and told me that her man was busy with her and I would have to call him later. That is when I decided to just move on for my daughter's sake. She didn't need to go through that. If you have found happiness somewhere else, stick with that. Again I am sorry for butting in. I just thought maybe I could give you some encouragement.

[Eleysia]

No hun, youre not butting in at all. Please dont feel that way, i threw it out there for everyone to give me some advice I appreciate yours just as much as theirs. I feel like thats what would happen if I did ever choose to go that route, and I think thats whats holding me from doing it, if that makes sense.

[Madison.N.Hailey'sMom]

Just remember that a person can change but its not going to happen overnight. I think Chad is jealous that you have moved on and are happy and he is trying to take that from you. I think whatever fling he had that ended you two didnt work out and now he realizes what he lost. Sure a new relationship takes some work but just think of all the good things you and will have together and all the crappy things chad has put you through. Gavin does deserve to have a happy mommy but you deserve to be happy for yourself too. I think once the divorce goes through Chad will move on to the next fling because I really think he is just trying to get under your skin because of the timing. Sorry I know thats blunt but thats how I see it. But just remember whatever you chose to do in the end we will be here for you. Only you know whats best in your heart and we can only be supportive and not judge.

Had to add my option on cheaters. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If they believe they got away with it once whos to say they wont try it again. Sorry just my opinion.

[NeeshBoogie]

I think people can certainly change, but that change will not come overnight and the change will not last unless that person TRULY wants to change -- not just because he or she wants what will come along once they have made a certain change. The most striking evidence of that change is not at all in what a person is saying but absolutely in everything they do. If you don't see any change there probably hasn't been any there.

[diaza1012]

Thank you for making me feel welcome. It does make sense, it makes a lot of sense for someone that has been there. If it were me, then I would go on with Will and leave Chad behind. That being said though, we all have to go through our own mistakes and journeys. If deep down in your heart, you want to go back to Chad then do it. Just don't do it for your son. What I mean by that is.... relationships won't last if people are just there for the kids. I know that you love your son and he means the world to you. You need to be happy for him. If going back truly won't make you happy and you will always be thinking he is cheating, don't go back. My best advice is just move forward. My best motto is: men are exes for a reason even if you get back together that reason is still going to be there. Hope this all makes sense. You can count on me for support whatever you decide.

The ladies here have given wonderful advice and I agree with them. People can change but it won't be overnight. The most important person in this situation is Gavin and then you. You both need to be happy and deserve that happiness.

My husband has never cheated on me, but when we first married he had no clue how to treat a wife and was very selfish. It's just been the last half of our marriage that he has started making changes. It's been a long hard road and has made me feel bitter and resentful and now I'm working on that and making changes. It causes so much stress.

Just take a day at a time, you're not obligated to either men but you don't want to take out your frustrations on Will, just open your heart to him. Chad is probably finding himself a bit jelouse that you have moved on and are happy, really happy. Jelousy makes you say and do things that sometimes aren't true and I know you're not going back but obviously it's something that he's got you thinking about at some point. At this point you just don't know what is true and what isn't. Thing is, you know what is true with Will.

[madmum_sarah]

im not sure. i gave someone another chance because i believed he changed and i ended up even more hurt but that may have just been him, cant judge everyone based on one pathetic man!
BUT... you know what i think because i told you in pm the other day.
just remember i love you
xx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Ok, I have to add my two cents honey. I believe people can change, if they really want to. Honey, I've known you for quite a while now. I've NEVER seen you as happy as you are with Will. Early relationships are trying and they take some getting used to. BUT it will be so worth it in the end. You thought Chad had cheated several times, and he didn't treat you like you deserve to be treated. I personally think that he sees you happy and now he regrets screwing up. He wants to screw it up for you too. Please don't let him. I know how much you love him. I totally get that. I truly believe you are on the road to the better with Will. From what I've heard, he really loves you and respects you. You have fallen in love based on a wonderful, long time friendship. I think that is wonderful and meant to be. Sorry, I just had to add my opinion. As you know, whatever you decide, I'm behind you 100%

I love ya!!!!

[Eleysia]

Thank you ladies. I went home and sorta talked to Will about it. Actually he said "we need to talk" I explained to him that what is going on with Chad right now is nothing to be worried about and that if it seems like im being distant its because im trying to sort things out with Chad so he (will) and i can move forward.

He slept on the couch

[Wee3monkeys]

Aww, honey!! I agree a hundred percent with Michelle. I haven't known you as long, but you were miserable with Chad. I'm sure there were good points, but all I saw were the bad. My 2 cents is move forward, grow, and your long standing friendship with Will is a perfect basis for a wonderful relationship. Don't let Chad ruin that by some well timed sentiments of regret (which if he really felt, wouldn't have turned into a court battle; and he'd let you go to be happy instead of trying to hold on when he sees you are happy w/out him). Those are not the actions of someone who has wised up, those are the actions of a selfish jealous person.

It's good you talked w/ Will. I'm sorry you guys didn't go to bed made up! Keep talking, be open with him; and things will improve.

[Pitridge]

But I do think you should still keep a friendship relationship with Chad for the sake of Gavin.</span>