[taatie10]

I just loss a baby 2 weeks ago today. I am dying and going crazy to try to have a baby. I just want a baby so bad I am constantly thinking about what it would have been like for delivery and the baby.

My husband wants to wait 6 months before trying and my doctor says 4 months I need to wait.

How am I going to make though these 4-6 months when all I want and can think about it a baby.

But then I am terrified to try again for fear the same thing happens.

[MusicalJulia]

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry you're having struggles right now.
Sounds to me like all normal feelings after a loss. I feel much the same way as you do.. I yearn for a baby. I don't have any other children.. I just want to be a momma, you know? I was told by my DR that waiting just 1 cycle was fine.. so we waited 1, I would have needed a lot of strength to wait longer. But, my husband was ready also.. I think it's important that both of you are ready.

I'm also fearful of another loss.. but.. not enough to stop me from trying again.
Stick around here, lots of us understand. ((HUGS))

[taatie10]

Thank you.
I figured most understand. I dont have any other children either. I see brand new babies everyday at work and it just makes me want one so bad. I did before but even more now that I had one for such a short time. I understand my husband wanting to wait but its so hard. By that time it will have be just about what my due date would have been.
We are going to try again for sure but I think I will always have this fear of the same thing happening.

[Eleysia]

Im so sorry about your loss Can I ask a few questions hun? If you dont want to talk about it thats fine.

How far along were you?
Did you do any fertility treatments or was it a natural conception?
Did you have any complications with the miscarriage?

[mary30]

is there a reason why your doctor said to wait 4 months. i was only told one cycle maybe 2 depending on how I was doing. I kinda think that is a little much. but then again every doctor and person is different.

YOu are right you will always have fear,but like Muscialjulia said Not enough not to try again. If I did stop after my second miscarrriage I would not have my wonderful 2 year old son . All it takes is that one loss. I fear every time I get pregnant,

I just had my D&C on the 4th of sept and I am like you I want to get pregnant ,but I know I am not going to enjoy being pregnant. I will worry through the whole thing.

maybe you can compromise with your Dh. Maybe he is just as scared as you are and worried about you.


I am sorry that you are having to go through this. Maybe talk to you DH ( You might already have ) and ask him why he wants to wait.


Prayers are with you.

[Christine-MA]

I know it's hard, my loss was just over a month ago (my first too). And I think wanting one is definitely affecting me more now than it did before I was pregnant. It's so unfair that it was taken away from us. But like others said, you can't let the fear keep you down.

I agree you should talk to DH. My guess is that he's more worried about you and how you'll handle another pregnancy so soon. If he sees that you will be ready after the four months, then maybe he'll be willing to push it back a few months.

[kellyanne]

Welcome to the board and I'm very sorry for your loss. You are definitely in the right place as far as finding others who understand. I'm Kelly and I have one healthy DD (2 years old) and 3 miscarriages. My last loss was a D&C at 10 weeks so I'm pretty scared about trying again this time too. But....we want another child, so we are trying and just hoping for the best. I agree with the other ladies, 4 months seems like a long time to wait. But it does depend on how far along you were, etc. Feel free to ask any questions here or share feelings....we are a pretty open and supportive group.

[taatie10]

Im so sorry about your loss Can I ask a few questions hun? If you dont want to talk about it thats fine.

How far along were you?
Did you do any fertility treatments or was it a natural conception?
Did you have any complications with the miscarriage?[/b]

No its okay, I'm okay talking about it.
I was 8 weeks. It was totally natural, it wasnt planned and I was on birth control pills. No I didnt have any complications, my body didnt attempt to miscarry, wasnt even aware that there was a problem with the pregnancy just at an US we foudn that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. So we decided for a D&C. Which it will be 2 weeks on Friday since the D&C.

I see my doctor on Friday for post op so I am going to find more out on exactly why waiting 4 months and things like that.
I had some side effects on birth control pills so we are thinking I wont be going back on them and if it happens then it happens but my husband doesnt want to try for 6 months. That is better than his original waiting 3 years (before we got pregnant that was his idea) so I think I can deal but still its hard.

Its so nice to meet you all. It seems very warm and friendly around here. BTW I'm Katie.

[Eleysia]

Hey Katie Im sorry, i didnt mean to sound cold the first post. I was just trying to understand why the heck your doc would tell you to wait 4 months. If your DH says he is ok with doing it again before 6 months id definatly get a second opinion. Every doc is different on suggesting times for a couple to start again, but with your given situation there is no medical reason to tell you to wait that long. Typically it is 1 cycle, most doctors (with an early loss) will only recommend more time so that the couple can greive, and recover mentally from the loss. You do not seem to have any medical reason to wait, so if you and DH are equally up to TTC again then Id say youre good to go after your first full cycle

Sorry if most of that was rambling, welcome to the board. I hope that you and DH can sort through your dissagreements and come to some common ground that youre both comfortable with. Until then, feel free to hang out here if you like. There are quite a few of us not trying right now

[Mommy0305]

I'm surprised your doctor told you 4 months, that seems like a long time. My doctor told me 3 months originally but when I pressed him for info as to why - he said to wait 1 cycle at least. So that's what DH and I are doing. I'm just waiting for AF to show up (I don't know when that will be exactly) then we'll be ttc again.

I was all most 14 weeks we discovered the baby's heart stopped, and an ultrasound showed the baby to have stopped growing at 13 weeks. I had my d&c on August 28th. I've been eager to get pregnant again ever since, so I know what you are feeling.

[taatie10]

Hey Katie Im sorry, i didnt mean to sound cold the first post. I was just trying to understand why the heck your doc would tell you to wait 4 months. If your DH says he is ok with doing it again before 6 months id definatly get a second opinion. Every doc is different on suggesting times for a couple to start again, but with your given situation there is no medical reason to tell you to wait that long. Typically it is 1 cycle, most doctors (with an early loss) will only recommend more time so that the couple can greive, and recover mentally from the loss. You do not seem to have any medical reason to wait, so if you and DH are equally up to TTC again then Id say youre good to go after your first full cycle

Sorry if most of that was rambling, welcome to the board. I hope that you and DH can sort through your dissagreements and come to some common ground that youre both comfortable with. Until then, feel free to hang out here if you like. There are quite a few of us not trying right now [/b]

You didnt sound cold to me. I really dont know why it may be part for my fibromyalgia and migraines to get back under control before going for round 2. After my D&C they both started to flare up again. I see my Dr on Fri so I can get a real answer why 4 months and it may just be a cautious statement also. I love my Dr and work for her so I trust her completely.
I guess dont mind waiting the 4 months and my DH wants to wait the 6 months so 4 months would be earlier than his idea. I'm not going to try to change my DH's mind as before our unplanned pregnancy he wanted to wait 3 years but the baby changed his idea on that.
Heck we arent even to do the deed until after my appt so it doesnt matter at the moment.

[marr1182]

So Sorry! I know how you must feel. I miscarried at 7 weeks back on 03/06/08. My dr. told me to wait just one normal cycle, but everyone's body is different. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Just remember to take care of yourself an stay hopeful.

[KDD]

Welcome Katie. I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

I'm surprised that your Dr. said to wait 4 months. I would definitely bring it up at your check up. My Dr. told me 1 cycle (but my acupuncturist said to wait 6 months). If you're ready to try again, I say go for it. It may take a few cycles to succeed, so why wait?

Good luck!

[kristajoyce]

I miscarried at 17 weeks in April and my doctor told me we only had to wait 1 cycle before trying again, so I'm not really sure why you would need to wait.

I know it is devestating and waiting is so hard. We just found out we were pregnant again on 9/18. We were so excited, but the DR called me on 9/22 to tell me that she doesn't think it is viable and I will probably m/c again before 12 weeks. I'm not sure that I can do this again, but I know that there are so many here that have been through so much. It is good to stick together and keep us updated on what your DR says. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Bakin8th]

I am so sorry for your loss(((hugs))

I am to puzzled about why waiting so long?

I had a loss at 17w with sever complications at home. I was rushed to ER for hemeraging and emerg d&c to get out retained placenta. I then had a 3 unit blood transfusion..

Now I am saying all this because even after ALL that I was told to wait 1 cycle and I did and got pg 7 w later First cycle after.

Now we have a healthy 12 month old less then 11 months later.. I have also concived and had healthy babies first cycle after other m/c' as well.

I would get another opinion on that.

Good luck when you start to ttc!