I did a bad thing

MountainMomma · #1 October 6th, 2008, 08:34 PM

I guess the BFN today wasn't torture enough. I went lurking in my most recent DDC. They are all starting into the 2nd trimester now. And then of course I had to go lurk in the Jan. 08 and April 08 PR's too. I know I shouldn't do it, I just love to torture myself I guess. Friday is the 2 year angelversary of my first miscarriage, and I just can't believe that I'm still not pregnant! And to make things just a little more complicated....next Thursday (16th) is my Dad's birthday, and I'm really missing him right now. A very close friend of mine and his just passed away last week, also from cancer, and it just brought it all back to me.

Sorry for being such a downer. I just as getting so depressed right now. I feel like I'm never going to get pregnant, and every time I turn around I'm losing someone else close to me from cancer. I just wish that I could go one stinking week without getting bad news from anyone!

Bakin8th · #2 October 6th, 2008, 08:48 PM

Hmm My fave chapter on days like this..Isaiah Chapter 61 and I really like verse 7!!!!

Double for your troubles!!!

(((hugs)) Now stay away from those DDC

Alison81 · #3 October 6th, 2008, 08:50 PM

It doesn't seem fair. I have definitely had my fair share of bad news these days, so I know how it hurts. And then not being able to get pregnant makes it even harder, I know. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

Enchanted Mumma · #4 October 6th, 2008, 10:40 PM

Aww Hun...I hope you get some good news soon!!

Your a glutton for punishment checking out those DDC's....STAY FAR AWAY!

I know it's really hard but positive thoughts...

kingdink · #5 October 6th, 2008, 10:49 PM

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. That is enough to be dealing with but with your dad's birthday on top of it... My dad also passed away from cancer and I know how hard it it to deal with normal day-to-day stuff missing him, but when I'm going through the big stuff I miss him so much I can barely stand it. We all need our days to just be sad, but really I hope something wonderful happens for you very soon. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

madmum_sarah · #6 October 7th, 2008, 12:44 AM

i NEVER go to my ddcs for that reason! in fact i never officially joined any of them due to not being pregnant long enough.
we will get our bfps soon hunny.
xx

~Lynda~ · #7 October 7th, 2008, 04:59 AM

mom 2 haley & tyler · #8 October 7th, 2008, 06:18 AM

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time right now Steph. I hope you will get your sticky bean very soon, you so deserve it. I'm sorry you keep having bad news and losing people to cancer. My heart goes out to you at this time.

MountainMomma · #9 October 7th, 2008, 06:30 AM

Thanks ladies. I'm feeling a bit better today. It's just a really rough time of the year for me.

#10 October 7th, 2008, 07:09 AM

Awww hun, when it rains it pours, huh? I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to help.

Wee3monkeys · #11 October 7th, 2008, 08:11 AM

I'm sorry Stephanie! I'm sorry for your losses, your dad, your little ones, all of them. You deserve some good things to start happening for you, hun! I hope that includes your bfp coming SUPER soon for you!

jenn27 · #12 October 7th, 2008, 08:24 AM

I'm glad that you are feeling better today Steph. I hope things start to turn around for you and you get to share some really exciting news with us soon like a BFP. I'm thinkin about you hun.

mary30 · #13 October 7th, 2008, 08:44 AM

I think it must be the year. I am sorry that you are having a bad day. It seems like somes days everything hits all at once.

I feel your pain.. we have had a bad year too. Dh mom passed away at 55 from breast Cancer. We lost our baby at 19 weeks and our family cat died a couple days ago. I am praying for you that we both from here on out we have a happy and a year full of BFP's

Brittanie · #14 October 7th, 2008, 01:39 PM

Oh honey, HUGE

for you. It seems so unfair to have you go through so much.

You know, my prayers have changed a little for you. I'm no longer just praying for a bfp for you, but one that STICKS.

I wish I could make the hurt go away, but I know that's not possible.

MountainMomma · #15 October 7th, 2008, 03:00 PM

Thanks Britt. You know....getting pregnant isn't that hard for us. I mean...if you look at it logically, from a scientific point of view.....I've been pregnant 5 times in 2 1/2 years. There's only a 20% chance of pregnancy each cycle if EVERYTHING works perfectly, so getting pregnant really isn't our issue. We're great at that. It's staying pregnant that is the problem. And apparently I suck at it!

I'm feeling a bit more hopeful again today (not much though, because I don't want to get excited only to be knocked back down) and I also keep reminding myself that even if not this cycle, then next time it will be medicated, which increases my odds, so it's really just a matter of time now that we are getting help. I just wish the time was RIGHT NOW!