[BellaBellski]

I want to start TTC soon... I want to be READY to start TTC soon, But I don't know...I feel like if I'm still grieving the loss of my son I'm not ready...but really will I ever stop grieving for him?? I thought I was doing okay - I was fine for weeks but now I'm back to depressed. I can't imagine my pain will ever go away but I guess that's pretty normal, right? It will just 'ease' with time. Maybe once my due date has passed. Ugh. I just want to be normal again and remember him in happy ways. And part of me is absolutely terrified it will happen again, and if not that then something else. I'm scared I wont have another successful pregnancy.

[.x~KAT~x.]

hugs sweetie

It does get easier with time...although it dosent feel like it ever will I have lost 4 babies this year and im still standing (well just about!)

Im sure your next pregnancy will be perfect, just dont rush yourself, you will know when you are ready to TTC again.

[kingdink]

I don't think you'll ever stop grieving your loss completely. There will always be some sadness, but I think it would be more abnormal if there wasn't. Pain dulls over time, you find other things that make you happy so you don't always think about the sad stuff and occasionally you'll think of him and cry, but that's what makes you human. I'm sorry you're feeling so sad again and I hope you're feeling better soon. Hopefully your heart will tell you what the right thing is for you soon too.

[Alison81]

I have lost 3 babies, and it does get better with time, although the pain never really goes away. My last loss was my latest at 14 weeks, and with TTC taking sooo long, I feel like I miss her more and more. I am coming up on the 1 year anni of losing her, and I'm still not pregnant, which hurts so bad. But that completely depressed, feeling like you're in a fog, grief does go away. And don't TTC until you feel ready. There is no rush. *HUG*

[Mommy0305]

I know how you feel, some times I get scared that my days of having a successful pregnancy are over. I also get scared I won't get pregnant again for what ever reason. I have nothing to base these fears on except I let my imagination run away with me.

[..Jessica..]

Honestly, it does get better.

As the other ladies have said, it gets easier with time. You will always think of Damian, no matter what. I found that after Quinn's due date had passed, it was almost like he was telling me it was okay to move on and think about another baby, like he was approving it or something.

You will know when you're ready, and even then, you'll still cry. And that's perfectly normal.

We are here for you!!

[kristajoyce]

Honey, it is just too soon for you to be thinking about feeling better. Your loss is still so recent and of course it is still unbearable. It does get easier with time, but sometimes that takes a really long time and that's ok. I am so sorry for your loss. If you feel ready to try again, then you should try. If you want to wait, then you should wait. This is such a hard road that we are forced to travel on after we lose our babies, but there are a lot of really great women here that can help you through it.

I had all of those same feelings when we first started TTC again. As I look back now, I think we should have waited a few months and it is probably good that I didn't get pregnant right away. I still have mixed emotions about being pregnant again. My original due date was this week and at times, I felt so guilty about being happy about a new pregnancy. I am pretty freaked out about every little thing this time, which I am sure is normal after losing a baby, but I sure do miss the days of being blissfully pregnant.

I'll sure be thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers. Keep us posted.

[Bakin8th]

I am so sorry

The best way I can explain it for me is..I made tear soup after I lost my last baby at 17w .That soup took several months to make and many many tears. When felt done for a while I put into the freezer and every now and then I take it out and reheat and add some new ingrediants..Our grief is never done nor complete it is always being reheated from time to time.

[BellaBellski]

Thank you all so much *hugs* you are all wonderful women and I'm so glad I found JM. I am feeling a little better than earlier, I had a really bad night last night, I just kept thinking about how Horrible and unnatural it was leaving him at the hospital and going on with my life without him. It hurts so bad. I finally got ahold of the genetics clinic today and they have some information for me but wouldn't tell me on the phone and the clinic is about 6 hrs away so they are going to send the info to my family doctor.... so I should hear in the next week how great a chance we have for recurrence of the condition my son had (tetra-amelia). So now I'm terrified. I really hope it comes quick, I hate thinking about this. There's just so many unanswered questions, you know? I'm so scared we're going to get bad news

[Bakin8th]

We are here for you I am so sorry your are dealing with more stress right now

[Brittanie]

All these ladies said it so wonderfully. I don't know that there is much I can add other than more


Ditto to everyone who said only you know when you are ready to TTC again. I decided I was when I could bear the idea of having a different baby, instead of wanting nothing but Cora back. But it never really goes away. But I think that's because you'll never stop loving him, so you'll always miss him.


As for the genetic stuff, well, I'll pray that the news is good. again.

[~Laurie~]

I think it gets better eventually. It's only been three months since we lost Eva, so I'm not really there yet. I still cry every single day. I am bitter towards most pregnant women (not TTCAL, but everyday women), I get so angry when I see baby items or things that I have to deal with that I wasn't supposed to have to deal with (work, etc), I still don't sleep well...the list is endless, it seems. Despite all this,there have been improvements that I've noted, the most important of which is that I have happy moments and I have hope. I know how hard it is, but if you hold on things will improve. It's just slow, and sometimes very subtle.

[jenn27]

I think all the other ladies have pretty much said it all. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and I hope that you get some answers soon. I know it must be nerve wracking have to wait to hear any results. I pray that you get wonderful news and when you will know when you are ready to TTC again. Take as much time as you need. We are all here for you. These women are all so very wonderful. KUP and i'm sending lots and lots of your way.