[madmum_sarah]

remember the begining of september, mark was away for a week for his step daughters 16th birthday? well, i had a dream she was going to announce she was pregnant and made a flippant remark to mark about it (needless to say he said i wasnt funny and he wasnt impressed at all.)
well i was talking to him on the phone today and guess what he found out last night.....
yep, he is going to be a grandad for the second time at the tender age of 33!!!!
the first didnt matter so much with our situation because although she was his step daughter too, she wasnt as young when they got together so didnt get as close, but the 16yr old is like his own!
im pretty confused and upset by it. im only 31, im not ready to be giving up my dream of having a baby yet! its not my child who is having a baby!! i know that sounds really selfish but right now i dont care cos im hurt and scared!!
i have tried talking to mark about it but he just says "i dont even want to think about the fact im going to be a grandad let alone about being a dad after that"
just as things were starting to look up again something else gets fired at me!
im praying he comes round and says we can still try even for a little while longer but i dont know what il do if he doesnt!
i was starting to get used to people getting pregnant and me still waiting for my miracle but my partners 16yr old is pushing it a bit far!!!

[Mommy0305]

I'm sorry you are going through this mess right now

[kingdink]

Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry.

[~Lynda~]

oh sweetie!! i'm sorry. that is pushing it for anyone, so don't feel bad that you feed bad... he'll come around once it sinks in and he has time to process the news. i'm sorry things are so very very hard for you. i really hope this doesn't kill your dream. i will say a prayer for you girl!!! HUGS

[HippyMomOf4]

aww hun i'm so sorry! Seems like thats the way life works, i always tell Chris that i need to get drunk and sleep around and i'll get pregnant easy(all my friends have done this). Its just not fair. I hope that you can work things out and keep trying for a baby!

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm so sorry Sarah. I hope he'll come around. I'm here if you need me.

[madmum_sarah]

thanks girls. you know when a little girl doesnt get that dolly she so badly wants in the shop window and throws a tantrum.... thats seriously what i want to do right now.
ive been trying so hard lately to get back into spirituality and think positive about things and now i just wanna throw it all out the window (preferably hitting someone off the head)
ok, i need to calm down. im going for a soak in the bath i think.
hugs and thanks. you girls really are lovely
xxx

[Enchanted Mumma]

Aww Hun...that's sucky & I would be feeling exactly the same way as you are!!

Just try and relax and let the tension go...hopefully things will improve in a couple of days once the shock of it wears off.

[LifeToTheMax]

Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry! I really really hope that this doesn't mean the end for you Hopefully once everything settles down he will come around. My BFF's dad has a daughter younger than his granddaughter, and he's thrilled with the way it turned out, hopefully Mark will be too.

[Bakin8th]

I am not sure if I missed something? Is this girl his STEP DD?

Well in any case even if she is his bio dd if he wanted a child it shouldnt make any differnce espeally at his young age.

Good luck! I hope he honour's you enough to let you know his intensions before he drags you through another yr of of stress

[madmum_sarah]

thanks girls.
i was really upset last night so when mark text at 11 to say goodnight i told him i couldnt sleep for thinking and he asked if i wanted him to call me and he did
we spent over an hour on the phone talking and erm... getting him in the mood for coming home tonight
anyway, he says he is trying not to think about it all right now but he wants 2 things...
1 ) for me to stop worrying about getting pregnant and just let it happen
2 ) for me to stop worrying about him running off with someone else cos my paranoia is driving him nuts.
im glad we had the chat. i know i have a real issue with paranoia but some of that is cos he spends a lot of time with his ex and she can give him a child that i cant (even though she is 7 years older than me )and part of it is because around this time in previous relationships is when i have found out my exes have cheated on me or they have left me.
i know its silly and im getting help for it but its taking time.
anyway, the way im thinking is if he isnt "thinking" about being a grandad yet and he knows im not on the pill then im going to leave it and just keep trying until he has to start thinking about it.
he does know how much i want a baby with him and although his need isnt as great as mine, he wants one with me too.
now i just have to get some spark back between us so i can keep him wanting me in the bedroom until he remembers about being a grandad again!
suggestions??
xx

[Alison81]

((((HUGS)))) My paranoia kind of put a wedge between my ex and I, which is why he wants to be considered my ex.....but of course, my thought is it's because he wants the title single, so he can sleep with whoever he wants. I've had bad luck in the past, so I know how it is. I was even with a man who was engaged, and in another relationship, for a YEAR, and I had NO IDEA. His fiance was away at college, but he would suddenly, have "business trips" when she had breaks. We also always went to his parents house, he said it was to save money, even though he made around 70k/year, I was like, okaaay. Found out later that THEY had a place together, which is why he brought me to his parents house. So, there's a reason for the paranoia, and I think you have reasons too. At the same time, I've learned it's not fair to do that to someone who isn't going to hurt you.

I really hope Mark does come around. I think he will once the initial shock of it all wears off.

[KDD]

Wow Sarah, you've had a lot to deal with this week. My coworker just found out that her 16 year old granddaughter is pregnant. This will be her 2nd great grandchild and she's only in her 50s. I joke that the women in her family must be super fertile (but inside I cry a little that they aren't trying and get pg so easily and I don't).

I'm sure Mark will get over the granddad thing. I always joke that the best reason to have kids is so you can have grandkids one day!

I'm glad you guys talked. It's best to talk things over and put it all on the table.

I'm always a PM away if you ever want to talk!

[IAMommy]

Sarah - I'm glad you and mark had a chance to talk things out, and I just want to give you big HUGS. I know how much it hurts when someone close to you gets pg, and you are trying so hard and hurting so much on the inside. I felt like hell when my little sister became pg after our loss. It really hurts. I hope and pray that you and Mark will have a beautiful healthy baby soon!

[Frangipani]

Sarah, first of all-whoa crazy on the dreams coming true thing! second, man that totally sucks. I would feel just as upset by it as you, to be honest. I'm glad you and Mark got a chance to talk things out. I hope that he does really come around. You 2 are still really young!

[..Jessica..]

Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry girl!!! I wish you would dream about yourself and get that sticky bean you've been waiting for!!!!

[madmum_sarah]

funny you should say that jess. ive been having some VERY strange dreams lately. last night i dreamed that i was sleeping on my belly and woke up with something pushing my belly out. i didnt look pregnant at all (just fat like now ) but it turned out it was a babies foot pushing me. it woke me up and i had a good cry when i realised it was a dream.
there have been a lot more strange ones recently but no bfp for me!
im actually getting very tempted to buy a spell off ebay just to give me a bit more luck and take the pressure off me a little

[Wee3monkeys]

What a nightmare, Sarah!! So sorry to hear about all that. I'm super glad to see in your update that you and Mark talked things out; and I hope that this cycle is the one for you (based on your trippy dreams)!