Question..

MusicalJulia · #1 October 16th, 2008, 09:08 AM

First of all, thank you all so much for the support

It means the world to me right now, you have no idea. It's getting better, but I'm still a little numb

I NEVER thought it would happen twice.

I have a question that some of you may know- is it common to only test to see what may be wrong after a third miscarriage? I asked my midwife if they were going to run any tests, to maybe see if something was wrong.. to maybe see if it wasn't a fluke. And she told me she would only "check things out" if it happened again - they don't run tests until after a 3rd loss. Do you think maybe if I look around I can get a "2nd opinion" and have someone do some blood work, or .... SOMETHING? (I don't even know what they do??) or is it pointless? Is it really maybe a fluke twice in a row?

I have ZERO plans to be pregnant again in the near future- seriously, I need a break. But I would HATE to go through this again when/if we try a THIRD time..if something could be checked out NOW ad prevented for next time. I'm not saying I think something is wrong.. maybe it is all just a big fluke.. but it would be nice to know, I guess. Rather than play a game and get pregnant again and "see" if I'll lose it or not.

Opinions?

LifeToTheMax · #2 October 16th, 2008, 09:29 AM

Oh Julia! I'm still so sad for you. In regards to your question, my doctor offered to run some tests after my second loss, especially because they were so close together. However, my insurance didn't cover them so I didn't get any. But, I think that if you want tests, and I definitely see why you would, I wish I had gotten them, then definitely get a second opinion. Hopefully you will find a doctor who is willing to help!

HippyMomOf4 · #3 October 16th, 2008, 10:12 AM

I had my first loss December 12th 2007, and then another loss January 21, 2008. They ran test on me after the two because they were really close together and because i already have children they know i can be pregnant and they really wanted to find out what was going on. There are dr's out there that will test after 2 i'm sure you can try and find one to get the help you need and want. Good luck girl

Christine-MA · #4 October 16th, 2008, 10:41 AM

I have heard of them doing tests after the second, even though I think it's more common only after 3. But I don't doubt you can find someone to do it (although it may not be covered, like mentioned).

Again, I'm so sorry

mom 2 haley & tyler · #5 October 16th, 2008, 10:46 AM

Julia, this is something I would def consider if you're worried. I always heard it was after 2 m/c. I hope you can get some answers. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss again!!!

ESMERALDAAZ · #6 October 16th, 2008, 10:59 AM

Hi Julia, Im in the same bout with you, I just had my secod m/c two weeks ago and my doctor said the same thing, so I dont know what to say about that. I just wated to say DOT'N GIVE UP take your time think about it, look for a second opinion (that's what Im doing)

MusicalJulia · #7 October 16th, 2008, 11:06 AM

Thanks girls, I appreciate the input. I think I'll look around and see what can be done.

I was upset at how my midwife handled it

It was the 2nd time I had met her.. I'm just not fond of her bedside manner

She's not... mean.. or anything. I really liked her the first time!! This 2nd time it was like.. "Hey.. I'm sorry for your loss.. good luck next time" .. it just felt all weird to me. And I practically begged for her to do something .. and she said "I'm really sorry, I just don't test until a 3rd loss" . Which is their policy, and I understand that.. but I even said I would fully pay for whatever *I* needed to, I just wanted some reassurance I guess. I was in there crying to her.. and she just kept saying "I'm sorry, I can't do that" .. is it that harmful to draw some blood from me?! She just left a sour taste in my mouth, and it makes me want to seek someone else for my care.

Or, maybe she did NOTHING wrong and I was just completely emotional in there on her, and overreacting right now.

~Lynda~ · #8 October 16th, 2008, 12:18 PM

oh you can definitely find a dr. to test you now. making you go through it again, would be so cruel. i would definitely find someone new. to even suggest that you try again and if something goes wrong we'll test... that's crazy. good luck girl. KUP!!!

Pound · #9 October 16th, 2008, 02:04 PM

i've heard of drs testing after 2 m/c, so you can def find someone. i know there are tons of ladies on here though, who are pg or just had a baby after 2 m/c. i had one in oct 07, then again in mar 08, and now i'm 18 wks. my dr said it was most likely a fluke, since i already have a son and this time things are fine. but i know it's scary, i was paranoid this time that something was going to happen, it's very scary. i hope you can find someone who can help, hopefully it's nothing.

Eleysia · #10 October 16th, 2008, 02:31 PM

Sweety, im sorry she was so cold about it

I know I had a very similar experience with the doc. She told me no testing until the 3rd loss, and then I had to see the same dam doc for my second loss, i litterally told her I didnt want to have her explain to me to wait for another loss, and that I didnt appreciate her the first time she talked to me. I requested a different provider but didnt get one

then she told me that "i know youre upset and hurting right now, so im not going to take offense to what you just said" I wanted to punch her in her face. I litterally associated her face with my faliure of staying pg.

Like yours, she wasnt mean, she just didnt seem caring enough when I was hurting.

Im not trying to steal your thread im sorry, just wanted you to know I had a very similar experience.

..Jessica.. · #11 October 16th, 2008, 02:33 PM

I'm so sorry Julia!!!!

Maybe seek a second opinion? I certainly hope you don't have to get that testing done!!! I hope your next pregnancy is a very sticky one!!!

#12 October 17th, 2008, 09:29 AM

My doc said "after three m/c in a row, we would do testing" I was like ***??? But I never pressed for more info.

I think two in a row deserves testing. Hopefully it's something that clomid can help with or it very well could be two flukes

Julia, by the way, I am so so so sorry. I haven't been on much in the past two weeks and it just broke my heart when I read your post. I hope you are feeling better. I know there's nothing else I can say

KDD · #13 October 17th, 2008, 12:02 PM

Personally, I think that's crap! I can see not testing after 1 m/c but having to wait for 3 is ridiculous. My co-worker had 3 before they tested and it turned out she had low progesterone. For her 4th all she did was take a supplement and she had a healthy baby boy. Had they tested after the first she wouldn't have lost 2 babies.

My Dr. was pretty cold when I had my m/c too. I wonder if they do that on purpose because they see so many losses? Thankfully the nurse was great!