i'm giving up

jenn27 · #1 October 31st, 2008, 06:34 AM

DH and I had a fight last night over something really stupid. I was talking to a friend of mine who was in Missouri and she had called to see how I was doing. Well a friend of mine from here in town called and i didn't answer. I was just going to call her back. DH called a few minutes later and I always answer the phone when he calls. He asked if Haley had gotten in touch with me and I told him that i was on the phone and I was going to call her back. He makes a comment about me not answering the phone and then says he will be home later. I said I love you and he hung up on me. Then he gets home and asks what's wrong. I tell him and he gets pissed off at me. He goes on about how i shouldn't be stressed out about having a baby. There is nothing that he or I can do to change things. It will happen when it happens. THen he talks about me holding a grudge because everyone here is pregnant but ME. I will be the first to admit that I am pissed off. There are cheating wives that are getting pregnant, women getting pregnant to try and keep their husbands around, teenagers and people in their 20's come into the ER all the time and find out they are pregnant and they are mad about it and so on. So yes, I am pissed off that they are being given a baby. What makes them so desrving and not me? DH doesn't know what it's like to have dreams 3 and 4 times a week where I am pregnant and have a newborn baby in my arms. It's a weekly thing and it breaks my heart everytime I wake up and realize it's all a dream. I don't know what else to do other than to just forget about trying to have a baby. It's putting a strain on my daily life and it's affecting my husband and children i think. It's affecting every single aspect of my life and I don't know if I can continue. I'm still going to be around keeping up with everyone but at this point, i'm giving up. I love all of you girls and I hope each and every one of you get your BFP soon.

#2 October 31st, 2008, 07:01 AM

Aww Jennifer, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you should take a break but not give up all together. If it's taking over your whole life, step back for a while, focus on you and your DH and kids, and then maybe after the holidays you can TTC again? Usually the holidays are crazy, so you don't need any extra stress then. I wish I could do something to help. It's not fair

kingdink · #3 October 31st, 2008, 07:47 AM

I totally agree with Erika and I really have nothing more to add but some hugs.

~Lynda~ · #4 October 31st, 2008, 08:04 AM

i can so relate to how you feel right now. i just feel like the cards are stacked against me. my DH travels and EVERY month he is gone, it is exactly when I O!!!! EXACTLY!!! i can't even tell you how i believe that someone up there is trying to tell me to give up too!!! so i'm gonna offer hugs!!!!!! cause i need one too!!!

Mellza · #5 October 31st, 2008, 08:13 AM

I am sure with your job, it is extremely frustrating! I'm sorry - taking a break doesn't mean the end... but yes, taking a breather would proably be good for you.

jenn27 · #6 October 31st, 2008, 08:33 AM

Quote:

i can so relate to how you feel right now. i just feel like the cards are stacked against me. my DH travels and EVERY month he is gone, it is exactly when I O!!!! EXACTLY!!! i can't even tell you how i believe that someone up there is trying to tell me to give up too!!! so i'm gonna offer hugs!!!!!! cause i need one too!!![/b]

I'm sending lots of hugs your way. I can't tell you how many times I have prayed asking God what more does he want and why am I not deserving enough to have a child? I have asked him to take away my urge for wanting another baby if it's not in his plan and it hurts more and more month that goes by and still nothing. i hope that he blesses you with a baby soon hun. This is the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life and it's tearing me apart inside. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.

LifeToTheMax · #7 October 31st, 2008, 08:52 AM

I just wanted to send you some hugs

I hope that taking a break and refocusing yourself will both hlep make you happier and maybe just be the trick you need

Pitridge · #8 October 31st, 2008, 08:52 AM

I agree with Erika...I don't know what else to add... tons of

going your way.

mom2njia · #9 October 31st, 2008, 09:40 AM

I know exactly how you feel. Its so hard when you want a baby to watch others get pregnant, without trying or wanting to.
I also know how much its strains your entire life when it isnt working out. There have been many points in my marriage that not having a baby nearly destroyed us.
Dont give up entirely but I think taking a break from trying could be good ....easier said then done right??
I wish I knew how, we are not "trying" right now, but we arent preventing either.
I am sorry you are so upset!

Bakin8th · #10 October 31st, 2008, 02:50 PM

I just want you to know that what your going through I have cycled over many many times in my many yrs of ttcing. You will bounce back in time just take things day by day when ttcing.

God blessed us after 5 long yrs of ttcing so I know he does answer prayer's in his time.

We named her Hanna after Hannah in the bible who waited and prayed many many yrs for God to bless her and he did.

ETA: My best friend ON BC got pg with twins and DID not want kids. My SIL got pg and had 2 kids in that time and lost all 5 kids to foster care. It was hard to watch while we waited and prayed for our turn.