[LadyLacy]

hi e/o.

dh and I are in a "holding pattern" I go for my follow up appt tomorrow on how I'm doing, physically, emotionally and to do b/w to make sure my levels are going down.

I'm kinda scattered all over.

a part of me wants to ttc, part of me never wants to ttc again. and I know I don't have to "decide" but would like to ask those of you who have choosen to ttc

did you wait? how long?

what made you decide to ttc again when you did decide?

dh is worried about my health and emotions. I'm torn between never again and wanting to move forward.

thank you for any and all responses and best prayers for you all on your journeys.

[.kristen.]

We decided to try again, because my husband was going to leave in August and I wanted to give him a baby before he left. He was an emotional wreck and I was but we figured it was better for our baby, because he wouldn't suffer.

It was a combined agreement. He is so excited to have another baby so in the worse case scenario he can see it before he comes back (with my history I give birth a month or more early)

[PixieQueen]

Well, DH still hadn't quite gotten around to processing the pg, so he was totally fine with whenever I was ready. I think I am now, even though I didn't m/c that long ago. We already have one healthy DD, so I know I can get and stay pg, and that sometimes it just happens. If I have another loss I think it will hit me a lot harder and we might wait longer, but for now I am ready as soon as my cycles come back. Plus I have heard that the few months following a m/c are actually more fertile, so I decided I wanted to try sooner rather than later.

[Momeejenjen]

Well at first neither of us wanted to go through the pain again. (that lasted for about a week) then we said, well lets wait until next Aug and we will try again. THEN we decided... to just do it.

TTC has helped give my mind something to think about, I can't imagine how I would feel if we weren't at least trying right now.

Hello-
I just wanted to say that you are not alone in not being able to decide. It wasn't until recently that I went back and forth daily with wanting to TTC and never wanting to TTC. I think after some heavy soul searching I decided I wanted to and when I approached DH (who I thought would need to be convinced) and he said he for sure wanted to, I was a bit relieved. This was just last week! This week some things have come up and it's causing me to lose focus again on what I want. I think that's totally normal for us to not be able to decide. My loss was 5 months ago and I'm still very nervous about trying again. I think now that some other things have come up in our lives, we might have to decide whether or not we want to push it out. Part of me says, we'll just do it and figure it out later. But the type A, planner side of me says it's best to wait. Go with your gut.

[klt]

We weren't TTC #4. It was a surprise. I had always wanted another baby, but, DH wasn't sure. Our youngest is 8. When I found out I was PG, I realized how much I really wanted another baby. My DH was just getting used to the idea, and we had just told the kids and our families when we had the m/c. It was really hard. We talked, and decided to try again. Being older, TTC has a lot of risks, including an increased chance of m/c. We have to be ready to accept the risks. If we lose another one, I'm not sure what we'll do. I hope and pray that I don't have to find out. Good luck with coming to a decision. KUP

[Jennifer8080]

We're really torn on when to begin again and I'm having much of the same feelings you are. DF said it's ultimately up to me. I too have heard you're more fertile after a m/c so I didn't want to totally miss that chance. We're going to be NTNP for a month or two, especially because our wedding is nine months away.

Everyone keeps telling me that you'll know when you're ready.

[LadyLacy]

thank you all for responding. I found myself knodding along w/your posts. I'm going to see what the doctor says about my health and all that in the morning. that in itself plays a part in what we'll decide. dh talked to our pastor too and tomorrow he wants to talk about what that was about. I think that'll play a part too.

thank you all for taking the time to explain how you came to decide to ttc or that your struggling w/it like I am. I too have read that post m/c is extra fertile. maybe I'll google why that is so.

best wishes to all of you and may your journeys go well.

[..Red..]

I waited awhile. I guess we went the NTNA route 3 months later, then avoided the 4th month because that was the EDD, then half-heartedly tried the 5th and 6th month (though I was so scared and really unconciously avoided sex during what was likely the fertile times), then in October I avoided because I didn't want a July baby. November I was pretty open to getting pregnant, and my new doctor was great so I felt more comfortable. But after AF came at the end of November I said I'm going to get pregnant in December. And I did. That's 9 months after the loss.

I will also say that my DH and I discussed and discussed. He mostly left it up to me, but he also assured me that he did in fact want to have a baby, which was more than was stated last time. He was happy to have a baby, but now he WANTED a baby. He wanted to try, rather than just seeing what happened. I think all those things made for December to be the month and also makes me feel so much more relieved and happy about it all. I haven't forgotten, I just haven't fallen into the sad holes since we figured it all out.

[Bakin8th]

For us NOT ttcing was never a option.

We had planned for a baby to be brought into our family and even though it is awful going through as many m/c's and 2nd tri loss's as I have we never once thought to give up.

I hope you come to a disssion that gives you peace

[HippyMomOf4]

We decided together after our second loss that we would TTC rigtht away, and i got pregnant right away like 20 days after my loss, that ended in another loss. After that point we waited a cycle to try again and nothing happened. We never gave up and 12 cycles later i finally got that BFP again. Its a tough decision to make, we were both really wanting another baby since this will be our last. I've had some problems this time around and i told DH that after this baby comes i can't do it anymore, i can't go through all the worry. So it does take a toll on ya sometimes, but ya never know i might want a 4th after this LOL.

[heathernoell6]

We decided together. I have two daughters and df has no children. When we lost the baby in Oct, we knew that we would ttc again asap. Good luck hun. It is not easy. Just like they say, the innocence in pregnancy is lost. I wish you all the best.

[LadyLacy]

thank you all for taking the time to share. and the well wishes.

post m/c appt went well. she doesn't see any reason why we couldn't have another baby. dh and I talked about what the doctor said. we may take at least a month off before we decide what we want to do. I think we are open to not avoiding, not trying like we had been or maybe even ttcing. but we want to give my body a rest from the m/c first. though I physically feel okay. doc suggested giving us/me time to grieve first. I don't think we've made a decision yet, but thats okay. I know I'm open to it, but, taking time first is good, b/c I'm sure I'm not quite "ready" yet. and your right, the innocence of pg is gone, I've never really had it, always knew each was a gift that could pass on sooner than I wanted, but now, I'm almost afraid and I know I need to deal w/that or wait til I want a baby more than the fear.

thank you all again so much for sharing your stories/thoughts/feelings. it helps me a lot.

take care

lacy