upset by a post

mom2njia · #1 January 27th, 2009, 07:12 PM

I read a post in a DDC (its easy to find as its in all CAPS) asking that people longer post losses in DDC. That is makes them too upset.
Am I am being hormonally off here by feeling offended?

tobynscarlett · #2 January 27th, 2009, 07:53 PM

No, you are not wrong for being offended. None of us CHOSE to have our children die, but now it is part of us and people should acknowledge that. I can't help but wonder if the person that posted that would feel the same way if she had a loss. My feeling is that she would see the situation MUCH differently. I would never wish that on anyone, but it is offensive that someone is directly saying that we should not mention our children. That is what they are- CHILDREN- not miscarriages, not stillborns or any of the other terms out there. They ARE our babies, unfortunately they don't live here on earth with us. I am sorry that this issue is even mentioned at all, we have the right to say "I lost a child and I am a different person because of it. I don't have the luxury of holding all of my children but I do have the RIGHT to tell people about them!"

I am so disappointed that this is happening.

Jennifer8080 · #3 January 27th, 2009, 07:56 PM

I didn't see the post but it upsets me that someone would even say this. I think you have every right to be upset. Like Heather said, they are our children, no matter how you look at it and we should have every right to discuss what we are going through. Clearly this person has never suffered a loss.

tobynscarlett · #4 January 27th, 2009, 08:02 PM

BTW- I went looking for that post and it looks like it has been deleted!! As it should have been. That was incredably rude and insensitive!!!

mom2njia · #5 January 27th, 2009, 08:10 PM

It was deleted. It hurt my feelings, but I cant imagine how bad it hurt some of the ladies going through losses right now.

Bakin8th · #6 January 27th, 2009, 10:19 PM

*shakes head*

..Jessica.. · #7 January 28th, 2009, 04:41 AM

That is incredibly disgusting, rude and very disrespectful! If you don't want to read about losses, don't open the post! It's quite obvious when loss has occured, the lady doesn't exactly say "look what news I got!"

Ugh...you'd think on a PUBLIC Message Board you would show some respect towards the ladies who lose their child, very heartbreaking and I honestly hope that she loses her posting priviledges.

cam & sami's mom · #8 January 28th, 2009, 05:57 AM

Quote:

That is incredibly disgusting, rude and very disrespectful! If you don't want to read about losses, don't open the post! It's quite obvious when loss has occured, the lady doesn't exactly say "look what news I got!"

Ugh...you'd think on a PUBLIC Message Board you would show some respect towards the ladies who lose their child, very heartbreaking and I honestly hope that she loses her posting priviledges. [/b]

I absolutely agree with you. Posts don't just open automatically, you have to click on them first. I'm sorry people's feelings were hurt.

Christine-MA · #9 January 28th, 2009, 06:03 AM

That makes me so sad. I've announced my loss twice in my DDC. Especially with the first....I was there for two months, I knew these women, and wanted to say goodbye to them and wish them all the best in their pregnancies. It would never have occurred to me that people would be upset by it (not that I would have cared, my posts were titled "saying goodbye" what do you think the post would be about). ugh, that's just awful.

Mommy0305 · #10 January 28th, 2009, 06:11 AM

That's horrible, that is a really selfish request.

AliciaF · #11 January 28th, 2009, 06:18 AM

I also posted a loss in a ddc and got nothing but support. It was very wrong what she said.

KDD · #12 January 28th, 2009, 06:21 AM

Quote:

I also posted a loss in a ddc and got nothing but support. It was very wrong what she said.[/b]

Would she rather we just "disappear"? Unfortunately losses are a part of life, you can't sweep them under a rug and pretend they don't exist. I pray she never goes through what we have all experienced.

~Lynda~ · #13 January 28th, 2009, 06:49 AM

yea, i don't think i could have gotten through my loss without the wonderful support of the ladies here. that is so horrible to post!!!! i wonder how that poster would feel if she, God forbid, lost her baby. so so insensitive!! glad it's been deleted. also remember when a post offends you, you can report it to a moderator, which i'm sure is what happened with that post.

*SamF* · #14 January 28th, 2009, 07:08 AM

I read the post yesterday and many of the responses in disbelief. You would think after spending months talking to theses women that they would want to know when someone has something like this happen. If they are scared that it can happen to them and they don�t want to read it, no one is holding a gun to their head telling them to read it. I don�t remember now if I even posted in the ddc when I had my last one. I think I just disappeared from posting. But I was only there for about 3 days. I�m very happy they deleted it.

I have learned though to not let many of the posts get to me. There was also one yesterday about how old is to old to have a baby. Apparently I�m way over the hill for many of them, and irresponsible for wanting to have a child.

madmum_sarah · #15 January 28th, 2009, 07:17 AM

wow. im glad i havent seen it or i wouldnt be able to keep my mouth shut!

i hurt whenever i see someone has a loss but having been through it i totally understand and if they just vanished then people would worry, pm them and then post about it anyway so what is the point? people need support not posts like that!
xx