[tobynscarlett]

Today was a beautiful day here at home so I talked Dh into going to get on of our horses so I could ride her here around the house (we board her at another facility with our other horse). We have had her for about a year and a half now and I don't get to ride her much because I am either taking care of the little people (or more recently was pregnant). Anyway, riding season is coming up and she and I need the exercise.

As I was riding and enjoying the pretty weather I got to thinking about all of the things that have happened recently and about my loss. Suddenly I was surprised to remember that Shadow (my horse) has also lost a baby. Before we bought her she had been pregnant and the foal was dead before anyone knew it was born- when horses foal they tend to go off by themselves to deliver- no one knows if it was born alive and then attacked by coyotes or if it was killed by them shortly after birth. Regardless the end result was that she delivered a fully developed foal that did not live. She grieved for about a year over the loss of her foal- she actually got depressed, lost weight, refused to eat and refused to roam the pasture. Now she is in pretty good physical shape (she is only about 4 years old- very young for a horse). But what really struck me were the similarities in her grieving and a human mother grieving for a lost baby.

The crazy thing is that up until that point I really didn't feel bonded to this horse like I do with my other one (he was a rescue in dire need of emergency care- now he is doing great). Suddenly, I felt like I had a real connection with her and immediately she started responding to me better. She honored my commands more quickly and was just a little more gentle in general. I don't know if my attitude towards her immediately changed or if she actually sensed that the connection was stronger but I have a soft spot in my heart for her now. It's like having a special bond with another mother that has lived through a loss. Don't get me wrong, I loved her before, but my step daughter rides her more often and I just didn't have that strong 'friendship' connection with her until today.

It was kind of nice to feel like I wasn't alone today.

[PixieQueen]

That is so sad about the foal! It is cool that you two connected. I wish we had horses. I have only ridden a few times, but I loved it.

[heathernoell6]

That is awesome. I did not grow up around horses, but my mother did. She has also talked of the connections to them.

[..Jessica..]

Heather...your story brought tears to my eyes.

I'm a big animal lover, and honestly...I've never actually thought that maybe they lose babies too. I know they do, but never realllly thought about it.

Thank you for sharing this with us!

[~~~Sara~~~]

Beautiful story, thanks for sharing.

[lex1078]

Aww, that story is so beautiful!!

[KDD]

Horses, as you know, are very in tune to us. I'm sure Shadow sensed that you two share a bond. It's nice that you have each other. You can be each other's therapy!


BTW - I'm so jealous. I had to give up riding after high school 'cause I couldn't afford tuition and horses. I miss it so much!

[klt]

Heather, that's a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it.

[..Michelle..]

Yes, I admit, I'm afraid of horses. Not like a freaky phobia, it's just their size and power. My mom had horses on the ranch and I couldn't ever give up to the fear to ride. Beautiful, spiritual animals.
Thanks for your story so much. I think that's one of the reasons I connect with one of my cats so well (ok, not as big but also not as scary to me). She was born preemie and I had to take care of her. No, it wasn't a loss of a baby for her but it was a gain of a "baby" for me. We bottle fed her after she was big enough to suckle. Before that it was an eye dropper of food every 2 hours. So taking care of this 8 ounce little helpless furball made my life have meaning again. Now she's a big girl (12 pounds) and her pic is in my siggy. It's Cali.
Animals can give us such fulfillment when we need it the most