[lmunoz8517]

I went in for my normal drs appointment Thursday. Everything has felt normal I am supposed to be 10 weeks. The NP started looking for a heart beat with the doppler. she couldnt find one. I wasnt so concerned tho because I am still early. She decided to do a quick ultrasound just to take a peak. We went in there and as soon as she put the doppler to my belly I knew something was wrong. I could see the sack clear as day but there was nothing in it. At my 6 week ultrasound we could see the baby and see the heart beating away. This time nothing. She measured the sac and it measured out to 9 weeks 1 day. She was saying poistive things but I knew something was wrong. This is my third pregnancy and I had an u/s at 10 weeks with both and the baby was very clear in the sack.

She decided to do a vaginal u/s even though by that point I knew and was just waiting for her to say it. We saw the same thing vaginally. She told me that it was possible the baby was still there but from what I saw I dont expect much.

They drew my HCG levels to double check things and they will do the same on Monday. MY levels were at 23000 which I think is low for being 10.5 weeks along. If things are as I suspect them to be I will see the dr Tuesday. He is out of town right now. If by that point he cant find a baby by u/s himself than they will schedule me for a D&C.

Currently I am doing ok. I know its wierd but I think I can be at peice with this. I have cried many times about my mom never etting to meet her grandkids. She died when I was 14. I think maybe she was able to take one straight to heaven to get a grandbaby to herself. I know it may sound crazy to some but it is something that can take the pain away. I also know this is wierd but if I did infact miscarry I am hoping my body passes it over the weekend so I do not need a D&C. I think since my sac was measuring a week and 2 days behind it prolly happened about a week ago so I dont know if thats a possibility or not .

I will do my best to keep everyone posted as time goes on over the next few days. Tuesday seems so far away to me right now. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I could really use any spare thoughts and prayers anyone may have for me.

[KDD]

I am so sorry. Perhaps you are right when you say that this baby is for your mom in heaven. They can look after each other up there.

You are very welcome to join us. This is a very supportive group - feel free to lean on us at any time.

[L-SBB]

Lauren...I responded to your post in PL too, but I don't think you can get enough hugs when going through something as awful as a m/c.

You're very welcome to join us - the ladies here are really wonderful and incredibly supportive.

[klt]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this...I'm hoping you get good news or answers on Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you. You're in my prayers.

[cam & sami's mom]

I'm so sorry. That is such an awful feeling - laying there watching the screen & not seeing what you are supposed to see. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

[lmunoz8517]

Thanks ladies I never imaged how hard this would be. I just looked at the previous posters siggy and broke down. Our baby was gonna be named Cameron Adam or Caydie Marie

[Sue46]

Just wanted to give you some hugs. I hope things turn out better than you think, if not know we're here for you. I just lost our baby girl about 3 weeks ago.

[dragonfly2006]

Im sorry to hear that..dont give up yet and KUP!! but just know this is an awesome group of girls and we give you our full support

[*SamF*]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really hope it all turns out alright.

[jmhick]

I'm very sorry you are going through this. I know it can't be easy. This is one of the best places you could be right now!

[..Jessica..]

Welcome to the board, Lauren.

I'm very sorry to hear your story!!!!

I do understand your statement though, maybe your mom did just want the baby for herself.

I hope you stick around, this group has amazing ladies who will get you through anything!