Hi to everyone!
I just found this site a few minutes ago.. I was looking for support and help from other women who have had to deal with miscarriage. I had a miscarriage last week. Well it was what they call a missed miscarriage. We went for our ultrasound at 15 weeks and found out our baby did not have a heartbeat. The baby had passed at 12 1/2 weeks. This absolutely devestated us, and the fact we had to go in the next day to have a D and E procedure done was unbearable. However I know we will try again. I have a lovely healthy happy 5 yr old son, I am 37 next week and never thought I would have to go through this.. I think I am looking for others that have had similar experiences and maybe give me a little confidence in trying again, I just know it would be so hard to go throguh this again, it completely scares me. Not many people I see in forums have had such a late miscarriage, it makes me worry that something is wrong with me.. I think I just need other people to talk to and find courage in.. Thanks for taking the time to read my story..

[L-SBB]

I'm so sorry for your loss! You're very welcome to join us here - my loss was similiar (lost hb at 2nd u/s) but a bit earlier at 9 weeks...however a number of ladies here had a later loss, and can share their perspective with you. You definitely shouldn't think there's something wrong with you! Miscarriage is unfortunately a lot more common than most women (me included, before my own) realize...and it shouldn't prevent you from having a successful subsequent pregnancy - in fact, we're all counting on that in here!

Welcome to the group...jump right in...

[Sue46]

I'm sorry your here. Its so hard to lose a baby. I had a second trimester loss as well, we lost our baby at 17 weeks. We were able to get an amnio done before the D&E and my husband and I both had our blood tested for genetic issues. Everything came back completely normal. Through the amino we learned our baby was a girl. That made it all the more real and hard. At my follow up, I asked about trying again. The Dr. said to give me body 2 more weeks to let my cervix heal and then we could start trying again. She said there was no real rule as to when you can try again and no evidence that you'll misscarry again if you get pregnant right away. Sooo we'll be back on board next month. I'm scared and anxious but I want it to happen now. I want my baby. My D&E was 3 weeks ago Friday.

[jmhick]

I'm sorry for your loss. You've come to the right place. Any questions you have, these ladies are wonderful answering and we've all had our own losses and can give you our story. You will have another baby, don't give up!

I'm sorry for your loss. You've come to the right place. Any questions you have, these ladies are wonderful answering and we've all had our own losses and can give you our story. You will have another baby, don't give up! [/b]

Thank you guys!! I am learning about forums, this is my first one, not sure how to reply????

Okay!! Thank you for all your support. It was very difficult and frustrating situation. I am self employed and had health insurance, $400 a month, they told me they would not cover pregnancy.. great I thought, I had no idea I wasnt covered. I ended up having to go to the health dept. My first apt. they cancelled.. we found out when we showed up, they rescheduled and I got to have blood work done, once agian, they would not let me see a doctor.. they told me I had to wait till April???????? I called a few people and got some strings pulled and they got me in as soon as possible. We thought everything was good, my body was growing and I was showing, we went and bought maternity clothes and then at 14 weeks we had the nursery furniture deliverd. Anyhow, if it wasnt hard enough to lose the baby now I have a nursery full of reminders and just had to pack up all my maternity clothing.
I took a home test today to make sure it was negative and there were no hcg levels still in my body. I am trying to get back on track and smile and laugh again, which comes and goes with the waves of grief. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful man in my life who has been nothing but exceptional with support. I am not sure if I will keep the nursery furniture or sell it... I know we are trying again, but its impossibly hard to look at the furniture and not feel grief... I get a very warm welcoming feeling from this group, thank you once again for your kind works..

[Jennifer8080]

Welcome and I am so sorry for your loss. The girls here are wonderful and so supportive. I know it must be hard to look at a room full of baby stuff, is there anyway you can just close the door and not go into that room for awhile? I KNOW that you will have a successful pregnancy when you're ready to start TTC again.

BTW - I'm Jennifer (26) and my DF and I are TTC our first after a miscarriage in December. I look forward to getting to know you.

[Ryleeroo]

You found the right place for support. The Ladies here are wonderful. I had a D&E last Tuesday. Our son was just over 20 weeks. You are not alone. We are all here for you to talk, Cry, Complain, whatever you need! Please stick around, well get through this together!

[tobynscarlett]

Hi sweetie. I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my son at 17 weeks in December (a week before christmas). He was my third baby and the pathology reports said that nothing was wrong. I know that this is a very hard time for you, and I know it doesn't seem like it but things WILL get better. You will never forget your loss, you may get angry and frustrated, but one day you will be able to talk about it and not cry. That day will come, just getting there is the hard part. You are welcome to ask us anything or to even just vent your heart out, this is a great place to be when you are hurting. Also, I don't know if you are aware, but on this same forum are pregnancy loss and stillbirth boards that are also great. Many of the women on this board also post there too. Just go to the top where it says Justmommies Forums, click, then scroll down until you find the grief and loss boards. You are welcome on any and all. Feel free to say anything that may be on your mind, someone here will understand and be able to answer your questions. I am sad that you have to be here, but happy that you found such a great group of women to lean on for a little support.

Welcome and I am so sorry for your loss. The girls here are wonderful and so supportive. I know it must be hard to look at a room full of baby stuff, is there anyway you can just close the door and not go into that room for awhile? I KNOW that you will have a successful pregnancy when you're ready to start TTC again.

BTW - I'm Jennifer (26) and my DF and I are TTC our first after a miscarriage in December. I look forward to getting to know you.[/b]

Hi Jennifer.
I am sorry also for your loss and wish you the best of luck in here.. I pray that we will all be able to conceive and carry to term..

Does anyone know the real difference in a D and C and a D and E?? also, I keep hearing mixed information about trying to conceive after the procedure. I had no bleeding after the procedure and they said it all went well. I go back in March for pathology results.. I am scared that it was something I did. I had severe depression prior to being pregnant, and it took me a little over 2 weeks to come down off the medicine, I wish I had never had that in my body. I also sufferd panic attacs, and my doc said it was ok, to if needed take a xanax to calm myself. I know during the 4 months of pregnancy that I maybe did that three times.. and I feel like its all my fault for being selfish and taking a medicine that could have done this to my baby. I refuse to go back on the medicine now especially since we are trying again. I dont think I am alone in wanting to get pregnant again asap... I am 37 and soooooooo ready for another child. I know a new baby will never replace the one we lost, but we have everything here just ready for a baby to enjoy. I already went and bought an ovulation kit.. do you think its too soon to even start trying again?? I know it was only a week ago that I found out the baby had passed, but if I am ovulating I dont want to risk not taking that chance of making a baby.. Im sorry, I am babbling and acting like an idiot about this. I have an inhome daycare and I am fine with the babies I have here, it doesnt make me sad, I rejoyce in the fact they are healthy babies and the life they have to live. some people say to wait a few months.. that just feels like forever to me right now

[klt]

No one here likes to welcome new members because it means they had to experience a loss to find us. On the other hand, no one welcomes and opens their hearts to others like the women on this board. With that said, I welcome you. I'm glad you found us, but I'm sorry you have had to go through such a horrible experience. I hope you are doing OK...I am sooo sorry for your loss. And, just when you were thinking everything was going to be fine and filled with happiness. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. Just know that you didn't do anything wrong.

I don't want to tell you to keep or get rid of the furniture, or the maternity clothes, but, please realize that with time, it gets easier to handle the sadness. There WILL be a day that you don't feel like crying all the time. And, that time comes at a different point for each of us...

We are all here for you. Please feel free to post anytime about anything. There's always someone with an answer or an opinion. I hope your dreams of TTC and getting your beautiful little one happen soon. And now you have a special angel watching over you in heaven...

Take care (sorry for rambling)

sorry!! I also wrote a poem for the baby that I would like to share... where in here would I share that??

No one here likes to welcome new members because it means they had to experience a loss to find us. On the other hand, no one welcomes and opens their hearts to others like the women on this board. With that said, I welcome you. I'm glad you found us, but I'm sorry you have had to go through such a horrible experience. I hope you are doing OK...I am sooo sorry for your loss. And, just when you were thinking everything was going to be fine and filled with happiness. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. Just know that you didn't do anything wrong.

I don't want to tell you to keep or get rid of the furniture, or the maternity clothes, but, please realize that with time, it gets easier to handle the sadness. There WILL be a day that you don't feel like crying all the time. And, that time comes at a different point for each of us...

We are all here for you. Please feel free to post anytime about anything. There's always someone with an answer or an opinion. I hope your dreams of TTC and getting your beautiful little one happen soon. And now you have a special angel watching over you in heaven...

Take care (sorry for rambling)[/b]

Do not be sorry for rambling... I do it all the time, thank you for such kind words, thank you.

[klt]

I'd love to read your poem...You do know that you will make me cry!!! I think you should put it under New Topic so that everyone can see it! That way anyone who has already welcomed you won't miss it. Just post what it is in the title.

Looking forward to reading it...

[tobynscarlett]

You can post a new topic here!!! I would love to read it. You could also post in the grief and loss boards, there are others there that are not TTC right now and I know they would love to read it also.

[..Penelope..]

I'm so sorry about your baby

Please don't think that you did something to harm your baby. I know it's hard, but this wasn't your fault.

From what I've heard, unless your doctor recommended otherwise, you should be able to start trying again after your first period (to give your uterus time to go back to normal). I understand how you feel about trying again right away - I want to in my heart, but in reality, I have to wait for a few months. It's hard.

I'm also a member of the Pregnancy Loss board, and they have a section for posting memorials to your baby. Please check it out.

*HUGS*

[KDD]

I am so sorry for your loss. After my loss, this group helped keep me sane. You are very welcome to ask us anything. I had a natural m/c so I can't tell you anything about the difference between a D&C and D&E. But I'm also curious to know myself.

here is my poem to my baby..

You may never know it, but you were loved,
You may never know it, but you had your own blankie,
You may never know it, but you had your own stuffed bear,
you may never know it, but you had a beautiful bedroom,
You may never know it, but you have loved ones who miss you,
You may never know it,
but may you rest in peace with god, may he tell you all that you had here on earth. May you know your tiny spirit will live on in my heart forever, I will never foget the love we shared, so brief, but life long. I love you baby, and always will, may you now know.

[tobynscarlett]

AWWWW, that is so sweet!!!! I love that you wrote that for your little one, it is so special!!!

[..Michelle..]

Hi and welcome to the board. Sorry we had to meet like this, no one wishes this board existed but unfortunately it does. But since it does, we welcome you with open arms and feel free to post any questions, vents, new topics or anything else that is on your mind . I didn't suffer a miscarriage but I can relate to wanting to have a baby as soon as possible. My son was born at 30 weeks and passed away 6 days after birth due to cerebral palsy, spinal menengitis, and lung failure.
I also suffer from bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. I was taking Ativan for my panic attacks and that was a class "C" drug. That means it has been medically proven to harm a fetus. BUT, my psych said that the pro's outweighed the con's because my constant panic was worse for Roman than was taking the medication. ALSO, we had a lot of blood work done and my medications did NOT cause any of his problems. Neither was it genetic as we had that testing done as well. So don't get hard on yourself for succoming to your disease. We can't help that we have a chemical imbalance and have to take medications for it. As long as your doctor can wean you to the lowest dose that still works for you, it should not be a problem in the future.
's to you! You are among friends!!