[Goingfor3]

My loss was many years ago (7) but, it's still something I think about almost daily even though my husband and I rarely speak of it . I'm not sure it would be considered a loss by others though, it was fairly early on and was only confirmed after the matter.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, at about 8wks I was sitting at my desk, and began having horrible painful cramps. So much so that I couldnt even think straight. I just knew I was having a miscarriage. I went to the bathroom and discovered bright red blood. We hadnt even told anyone yet, and I hadnt been to the doctor yet either. I cried the entire day. But two days later, I was still getting sick every morning. I went to the doctor a few days later, and expected the doctor to tell me I had miscarried, instead he stuck the doppler on my stomach and there was her strong heartbeat. I told him what happened, thinking it was a 'false miscarriage' or something, he explained it was called Vanishing Twin Syndrome, and had I had an ultrasound done two weeks earlier, he would have more than likely seen a second fetus. We never told anyone. Just you all, my husband and my former ob/gyn knows this. It's just horribly sad for me, I've always loved twins and would have adored being pregnant with twins. But we never talk about it, maybe because it's just too sad, or I'll bust out crying. Multiples run in my husband's family, so when people say "I cant believe you guys havent been bitten by the twin bug yet!" it's hard to hear.

But at the same time, I KNOW if we had twins then, we would have never had our son and I absolutely cannot imagine life without him! I guess there is a reason for everything, but I just wonder what he/she may have looked like. I always felt like it was probably another girl. Since my daughter was just a little girl, she's talked of her 'sister' (she has done this since before my son was born, and he's her only sibling)but we never told her about it.


Well I guess I'm just rambling. We are currently ttc#3 cycle1, 7dpo I'm just counting the days until I can test and find out if we've got another peanut coming. Thanks for letting me put that out there, feels great to just tell someone about my possible angel.

[PixieQueen]

Hugs sweetie! We have a lady who is currently pregnant after having a loss that lost a twin fairly early on! I am sure she will pop in at some point and offer words of comfort! And i think it's really cool that your daughter "remembers" her sister! You know she has a guardian angel!

[Dinah]

That must have been very difficult. I too had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, and I feel like I am missing something but I am not sure what it is. With the loss of a twin, it would be like a frequent reminder of what was lost and must be very heart breaking. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you get your BFP soon.

[tobynscarlett]

Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board, this is a great group of women to TTC with!!! They are all so loving and supportive- you will love it here. That must be difficult to miss you twin like that, wishing you good luck on your TTCAL journey!!

[L-SBB]

HUGS!! You're very welcome to join our group...and i'm sorry for your earlier loss - it helps to have others to talk to about it, and I'm glad you found us.

Karissa (Pixie) mentioned another women on our board who has experienced same thing (I think actually we may have more than one) - she does pop in to check up on us...screen name is (or was, before the forum upgrade) sarah-the-sane-one. I'm hoping she sees this post and can give you some thoughts/comfort as someone who has gone through same type of loss.

[KDD]

Welcome to our forum. A loss is a loss and it's understandable that you still have strong feelings for yours. We are glad to have you here. As others have mentioned this is a very supportive group. Good luck when you test this cycle.

[heathernoell6]

Hello and welcome. Yes, Sarah and someone else have definately gone through that. I am racking my brain and can't come up with who else ( I am so Sorry). Sarah is wonderful, but going through a move right now I believe. Anyway, I am Heather. Nice to meet you. Twins are an amazing thing. I am sorry you lost one. I have ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted twins. I hope your ttc journey is short and your stay here and friendships here long.