[~Laurie~]

I tested yesterday so that I could be sure it was negative. My last af was 3 days late, which is so unusual for me. The only other time I was late, I had an ectopic pregnancy. I didn't find out until it was pretty much too late, and I lost my tube and ovary. This month, I just couldn't stop worrying so I POAS to be sure that I didn't have another ectopic. Thankfully it was negative (never thought I would type those words), but I am worried that I will freak out like this every month. That might get a little expensive, buying all those hpts. I am just so terrified that I will lose my other tube and ovary that I almost don't want to TTC. I almost want to beg for IF or something else medically controlled so that I won't screw this up on my own and lose my fertility. That is my nightmare, the idea of losing all hope. I don't know what to do anymore!

[L-SBB]

oh Laurie honey, i don't blame you for being scared...especially after everything you've been through! Have you talked with your dr about doing IVF? I know they usually don't just jump to that stage...but it might be worth exploring just to see if it's an option...i can totally understand why you need a little control put back into TTC just to remove some of the fear of another ectopic.

HUGE HUGS!

[klt]

Oh Laurie, I don't blame you for being scared. Your last experience was absolutely horrible. I would talk to your doc. At least then you'll know statistics, options, and information that may be able to calm your fears. For now, don't worry. What did your doc say after the procedure, about TTC? big hugs...I'm thinking about you!

[~Laurie~]

No, I haven't talked to him about it. I kind of figured that he would say no, considering that I should be able to get pregnant on my own. I know that I have to start going for betas and u/s as soon as I get a positive hpt, but I would think the medical community would see IVF as unnecessary. If I don't get a bfp this month, maybe I will go in and talk to him about it. He is really great, and he has already told me that he will do as much monitoring during my pregnancies as I feel as necessary. Maybe he can help me during the 'before' as well as the after?

[Dinah]

I know I feel better after being seen by the doctor too, and I am glad your doctor has been more supportive.

[L-SBB]

I think that's a great idea Laurie...even if IVF isn't the answer, maybe he'll do monitoring of you after you ovulate to try to take away the fear of another ectopic. i'm really glad you have such a supportive doctor...and you know you can always come here when you need to worry with friends (HUGS)

[Kary♥RN]

Laurie... I am so sorry you have to feel this way. I would be concernerd also. Your fears a justified. I would talk to you dr and see what he says about the chances. And also bring up IF.

[tobynscarlett]

I know that fear of losing your fertility all too well. Recently I was TERRIFIED that the Dr who did my d&c screwed up and had caused scar tissue to develop in my uterus. It was a week before I could get to the Dr and have it checked- all I could do during that time was cry my eyes out and sit around depressed. It was so hard to think that not only did I lose my last baby, but I may not be able to have any more.

Luckily, I found an awesome dr who was willing to help ease my mind!! Talk to your dr- IVF may not be such a far reach. It's not like it is an extremely dangerous procedure that has tons of complications, he may be more than willing to help you in that area. I would definetly ask!!!

[ThankingGOD4my2girls]

Laurie,
I hope your DR can help ease your mind. I hate that you are going through this. Maybe your DR will say yes to IVF. I hope that you will start feeling better soon.

[..Jessica..]

Oh Laurie!!!

I'm sorry you're going through this girl!!!! I hope your doc can ease your mind a lot. You shouldn't have to worry about this every month.

[~Laurie~]

Thanks, everyone. I am so thankful for all of you fabulous ladies. You keep me sane! I think I will make an appointment with my doctor and see what he says. I know he has been very upset at all that I have gone through, so I am sure he will be open to helping me in some way. I just don't feel like I can do this on my own anymore.

[..Jessica..]

We're always here for you girl!!!

No matter what!!!!

[..Penelope..]

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, hon I hope that you can get in to see your doctor soon, and that the two of you can figure out a plan that will help ease your mind. Please keep us updated!

*HUGS*

[Trish36]

I'm sorry you are so stressed out over this.