I want to apologize to all of you ladies for just being absent over the last two weeks. I am actually hoping that no one noticed
. I feel awful that I wasn't able to answer anyone's post, I have been lurking though and have seen most of the post. I just couldn't get my mind together to answer anything
!!!
It all started almost two weeks ago. I woke up at 1 am needing to pee, that's when I saw that I was spotting bright red blood. I completely freaked out and got HYSTERICAL!!! I was crying and just going crazy in general, poor DH just didn't know what to do. After I calmed down and just "accepted" that I was having a problem I realized that there had been no more blood for a few hours. The next morning I went straight to the Dr (even though I knew they couldn't do anything)- thankfully they found no problems and no sign of any more blood. I was offered an ultrasound but turned it down because at the time I was only 6 weeks and was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see a heartbeat yet and it would worry me sick until the next appointment.
Well, I was worried sick anyway. Let me tell you, scared isn't the word for how I felt- TERRIFIED is the only way to describe it!!
I literally felt like I was going to lose my mind at any minute. It was all I could do to log in and read any posts. I was so distracted and worried I could barely talk to DH. We already had an appointment for an ultrasound set up for yesterday afternoon. My Dr is about an hour from the house and I cried all the way there. When I got to the office I started crying again in the exam room and explained to the tech that the last ultrasound I had was the day I found out that my baby had died. I was sitting on the table just shaking. She did a vaginal u/s and the very first thing she said was "Do you see that flicker? There is the baby's heartbeat." All I could do was say "What is the heartrate???" I was still so scared. She took the measurements and the baby measured 8 weeks (which was actualy 2 days ahead according to my LMP but exact for my O date
) and the HB was.... are you ready..... 169 BPM!!!!!!
How AMAZING is that!?!?!?!!!!
I can't tell you how the stress and tension just melted away at that point. I had refused to let them check my BP when I went in because I could actually feel the blood pounding in my head, I knew it would be too high. By the time I came out of the u/s my BP was 110/80 (which is great). The high I felt at that time was better than any drug!!!
They did find a small pocket of blood left over that was IB. The Dr said it was nothing and it wasn't near the baby, but it could come out and would probably be bright red if it did. He said he normally wouldn't even mention it because it may just get reabsorbed, but he wanted to tell me just in case, so I wouldn't have an anxiety attack if I saw blood again. So I may or may not see anything from that.
On top of all of the other stress, my DH has been home for the past 2 weeks. He works contract work and is fequently "waiting" for the next job to start. We have gotten pretty used to this and usually have a little money put up to cover the gaps. Well, last night I sat down to pay bills and balance the checkbook and figured that we needed to come up with a minimum of $1400 before the end of the month just to keep from getting behind. I had the $$$ to pay everything but the house and we were talking about whether DH would be able to make up some work time to get us where we needed to be and be sure nothing was late. We decided to just pray and keep the Faith that God would take care of us in more ways than one.
Today, Dh made some calls and came up with a little work to do in the next few days. So no big deal, just a little strain. We went to the beach with the kids and just had a good time today, enjoying the fact that we got awsome news at the Dr. Well, when we got home this afternoon there was a check in the mail for $1477!!!! I swear!!! NO JOKE!!! The company my DH has been working for lately decided to pay him what they call "standby pay" for the time he has been sitting here waiting for the next job to start. It's basically money they pay to ensure that DH won't take another job and will be available when they need him. It's pretty standard, but it's always WAY less than DH usually makes (we couln't pay the bills for the month on just standby) It does make the short times off a little easier. The thing is, we were under the impression that this particular company did not pay standby pay and we wouldn't be getting a dime. What another great surprise!!! We knew God would take care of us!!!!
Sorry this is so long
So I just wanted to give a little explanation and let you know where I have been (at least emotionally
) I love you Ladies so much, I hope no one was offended by my absence. I promise to be around more!!! Also, Morning Sickness
is starting to take hold in the late afternoons so bear with me (Obviously NO COMPLAINTS, I will take it 24/7 just for a healthy baby, but it is a little harder to function normally)!!!
It will take me a while to catch up on all of my post comments, so please don't be upset if I miss anything!! I want to say WELCOME to any newbies and CONGRATS to all of the new BFP's!!!
You Ladies are awesome and amazing!!! I LOVE YOU!!!
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