[szczepanski]

So I had my follow up appointment with my midwife on Friday. I've been really upset about it so I've been staying away from JM.

Three big things were discussed...

First thing was I am still bleeding, and I started miscarrying on the 4th. So we are coming close to 3 weeks of bleeding, which is getting really old and frustrating. She didn't seem too concerned about it since it is lighter and I'm not passing any clots anymore.

Second thing was I had to pee in a cup for a pregnancy test...and it is still positive. So I have to go back in 2 weeks for another one and to (hopefully) be examined if the bleeding is done. Which if I end up bleeding for 5 weeks I will be just beyond upset. I really broke down when she came back and said that it was still showing as "very much positive". Because I'm not really pregnant anymore.

Third was she went on a long discussion about if we were comfortable with using condoms or if I wanted to go on birth control for awhile. Because she wants me to wait "awhile" before getting pregnant again. This is heartbreaking for me because I wanted to try again after I got my period - which wont even come for 4-6 weeks AFTER my bleeding finally (dirty word) stops.

I have no idea why she wants me to wait "awhile". I am 24. I am healthy and workout everyday and watch my diet (calorie counter). I've had one healthy, complication free pregnancy 5 years ago. I miscarried naturally (no d&c). We even talked about how Matt and I want to TTC again as soon as we can and she said that was great. And pushed the birth control more.

I'm meeting with a different midwife for my next appointment so I think I'm just going to talk her about it again. "Awhile" is not what we wanted to wait and that has me so upset its not even funny. I cried as soon as we walked out and just said to Matt "I don't understand what "awhile" means or WHY I now feel bad because I'm not jumping to go on the pill?". Matt just looked at me and said "You know your body...we know we are ready and we want a baby...."awhile" doesn't have to mean anything".

I feel better after venting but...I just don't understand why we can't try after I get my period in May....

[PixieQueen]

I would definitely go see someone else. That seems like a long time to bled and if there is no valid physical reason to wait I don't knwo why she would make you. Get a second opinion.

[momof6lopez]

Im sooo sorry your appt. went this way. For some reason with a natural m/c, things just take longer to resume to normal. BUT, it is so much better on your uteris. I know how bad you want to try again and this is trully up to you and your DH. When you start your first AF, you will know if you are mentally and pysically ready. Your midwife was just probably pointing out that because the HCG levels are still there, you may have a awhile to go. When you go back in two weeks and if the hcg is still there, you should request an u/s to make sure nothing was left behind. Im quite surprised that they did not offer this after you still getting a positive HCG. Every dr. is different in what they tell their patients. Because you are so young, they feel you have plenty of time physically speaking. Only you and your DH know how important it is to concieve again. My dr. feels that 2 cycles are recommended. I feel different though. I will only wait one cycle and then see what God gives me. This is just me. And Dr.'s give their patients certain guidelines, thats all they are. Again, Im so sorry you had to go through this today.

[yowzer]

That sounds terrible... bighug...

We got the go ahead to try right away... I'd go for a second opinion.

If I'm still bleeding in 3 weeks you can bet your heiny I'll be begging someone for answers.

[onthebrink]

I would definitely get a second opinion. I did hear that when you go natural it does take a bit longer to stop bleeding as well as for the hcg to be out of the system, but she really should have addressed your concerns better. I agree with the pp that you at least should have been given an ultrasound to check to make sure that everything has passed. I just had a d&c so I can't give you my personal experience on the bleeding issue, but I hope it stops soon.

As far as trying again I have been doing some research and there is such a wide range of timeframes that a doctor will give. My doctor said I can try right away, don't even have to wait for my first period. What I did come up with is that it seems that doctors are saying to wait a bit longer for purely emotional reasons, to make sure that you are better able to cope with another pregnancy. I read in a couple of places that if you get pregnant before your first period you have an 80% chance of success, or a 20% chance of a loss BUT the normal risk for miscarriage is already in the 15-20% range so I don't see how it has increased it. However, these are my findings and what my doctor has said to me...you need to make sure you find a doctor or midwife you are comfortable with and follow what is best for you both physically and emotionally.

I am sorry that you are going through this.

[~Angela~]

My Dr. told me to wait 2-3 cycles. This is apparently what she tells everyone. I read online that it's mostly because of emotional things, but also to be able to accurately date the pg, as I guess by then they figure your cycles will be mostly back to normal.

I had a natural m/c. I bled for 11 days then spotted for another 11 days. I had on and off spotting for my first cycle. It took me about a month to get a - pg test. 3 weeks of bleeding with a blaring +pg test sends me a red flag. If I were you, I'd get a second opinion. It sounds like your midwife may not think your emotionally ready to TTC again?

I'm sorry you had to go through that

[mlyster]

I agree with the people who have already commented. Get a second opionion... or just listen to your body (and your heart). My doctor told us not to BD until after the bleeding had stopped but then it was fair game to start TTC again. I saw a grief counsellor and she said that some people need to wait to TTC until they have emotionally healed and some need to start TTC to help that process. Everyone is differetnt.

I also had HCG in my system for quite some time after my natural m/c. It was probably a week before the test came back negative. It sucks... but it will end. I hope for your sake SOON!

I agree with the people who have already commented. Get a second opionion... or just listen to your body (and your heart). My doctor told us not to BD until after the bleeding had stopped but then it was fair game to start TTC again. I saw a grief counsellor and she said that some people need to wait to TTC until they have emotionally healed and some need to start TTC to help that process. Everyone is differetnt.

I also had HCG in my system for quite some time after my natural m/c. It was probably a week before the test came back negative. It sucks... but it will end. I hope for your sake SOON!

[..Penelope..]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, honey. I would definitely get a second opinion, since this midwife didn't seem very receptive to your wishes or concerns. I think that you should try whenever you feel that you are physically and emotionally ready. I'm glad that Matt is so understanding and supportive.

Please KUP! I'll be thinking of you (I was just going to write you another email this morning because I was worried about you). *HUGS*

[Trish36]

So sorry you had such a crappy appointment.
I had a natural m/c (I was givine medication to start the process naturally so no d/c). I bled for maybe 7 days, but I was having some pain and was sent for an u/s and there was a clot left over. Now I know everyone is different, but my levels dropped really fast. I mean I was around 1500 when I found out and after I m/c I went down to 177, then less than 2 weeks later to 0. The only way that your levels are still so high is that there is some tissue left behind and that is why you are still bleeding. I would definately call them back and ask for a 2nd opinion and even push for an u/s. Even if you have to say that you are having pain...go to the ER if you have to. You could get an infection if there is tissue retained.
As far as the birth control, I don't understand why she would tell you that. I know my dr. wanted me to wait at least 2 cycles, but the only reason was so that I could heal emotionally, physically there really is no reason, unless there are some medical issues going on or you were really far along in your pregnancy. I was 11 weeks along. The other reason why they want you to wait is so that they can date the pregnancy better based on your LMP. I would just listen to your body and go with whatever you decide. She can't make you take birth control. LOL I'm not even seeing her and I already don't like her. I hope that everything works out and you stop bleeding soon, but honestly my suggestion would be to get that u/s as soon as possible!

[amandakay29]

I agree with getting a 2nd opinion. What raised a red flag for me is that they did a urine pregnancy test to see if HCG was gone instead of bloodwork. Is she going to compare one positive urine test to the next one you have??? Please see somebody else! You know your body!!

[szczepanski]

Thanks for all of the comments ladies....of course this morning my bleeding has pretty much stopped. Figures doesn't it?

My hormones were still really high when I started m/c - they drew my beta's at the ER and they were at 7,000. I thought it was weird that she did a pee test (something I can do myself at home) instead of drawing a beta to see what they were at compared to the ER's numbers on April 2nd.

I totally get the waiting one cycle for dating purposes, but "awhile" isn't an area I want to enter into. I mean I can totally understand if she didn't want to talk about it because I was a little upset (this was my first appointment since I started m/c) but I was sitting there teary eyed and sniffling and telling her we both already talked about trying again and how important it is for us to try again. If we are ready then we are going to go forward with waiting one cycle and trying.

I haven't been going to this place for very long....I started going there when I got my positive pregnancy test. She was so amazing when we were there for the prenatal visit - so kind and nice and answered any and everything that we asked. But she seems to have a very non-proactive approach to things. Very much holistic (which I really do like but I can't handle when I don't know what to expect) and a "wait and see" kind of person.

Where I am going is a midwife group - you can have a "main" midwife that you see but they want you to see everyone because when you go into labor, you get whoever is on call. So I can always make my appointments on days where she isn't there if I like someone else. I just hope I don't have to find a new place to go...I moved here from NC and finding all new doctors is just not fun.

[ThankingGOD4my2girls]

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know it isnt easy. I miscarried in December and I bled for a really long time as well. I was 6 weeks pregnant and I stared miscarrying the day I found out I was pregnant. I also had a natural miscarriage and did not have to have a D&C. I bled from December 1st to December 25th (I stopped bleeding Christmas day) and I thought the bleeding would never stop. I thought that if the bleeding didnt stop that they would have to do a D&C. Well after my bleeding stopped the Dr said he wanted us to wait until I had 2 good Periods before we tried to get pregnant again. I told the Dr. I didnt want to wait that long and that I wanted to start trying right away after I had my first AF after the M/C and he said well you can try if you would like after your first good cycle but I suggest you wait until you have 2 good cycles because the sooner you get pregnant after a miscarriage the greater your chances are of having another miscarriage. So DH and I talked it over and decided to wait the 2 cycles before we started TTC Again. Well in January my AF came on the 20th and I had a normal AF and in February AF came on the 24th and I also had a normal AF then to. Well in March we started TTC again. We BD'd every other day starting on the 2nd and went until the 20th and then again on the 23rd and then the 26th. Well AF Never came in march and I just knew I was pregnant and I took test after Test and ended up getting BFN's well I went to the DR and wouldnt you know it I NEVER OVULATED at all in March. I was so upset but the Dr has me on meds to start my AF and then I take clomid after that to make sure I ovulate but anyway the Point of this long story is that I wish we hadnt of waited. I wish I had of went with my instinct and went ahead and started TTC in January after my AF was over with. Good luck to you and Go with your instinct. YOu know your body better than anyone does and you will know when you are ready. Keep us posted and you are in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

[momof6lopez]

Im glad you have had time to absorb what the dr.'s advice is. And that you have come here to hear what some of the other women have to say. Hope your AF will come soon for you, now that your bleeding has stopped. I had my levels checked the week before I m/c and they were at 80,000. 7 days after my D&C, I got my first AF. I never bled or cramped after the d&c until the 7th. day with a bright red flow, that lasted for 4-5 days, and my HCG was 0. Although it was early, my DR. confirmed that it was indeed AF, and I just recieved a positive OPK today. Exactly 13 days into my new cycle. Hopefully you will get back on track very soon and be able to resume your baby making plans.

[..Penelope..]

I'm glad to hear that the bleeding stopped. Now come on, AF!!

[KDD]

I'm glad that the bleeding has stopped. In my non-medical, completely amateur opinion, I wonder if your midwife was pushing for some birth control because you were bleeding for so long? She may be thinking that I could take your uterus a while to build back up the lining.

I do agree with the other ladies - I would push for a blood test. It's probably a good idea to wait until your HCG levels are back to zero before you try again.

I had a natural m/c and bled for a week after. My Dr. did do an u/s to make sure that all the tissue had passed. She said that we could try after AF showed. My acupuncturist said that she recommends waiting for 6 months!

Good luck.

[klt]

I'm sorry you had to go through this...and that you are STILL having to go through this... I'd get a second opinion. And, I'd ask about getting a beta hCG. I was told that hCG decreases at about the same rate that it increases... it will decrease by about half every two to three days. It took two weeks after my m/c to get to zero. But, I had an early m/c. I hope everything works out. Please KUP...thinking of you.

[Kary♥RN]

I am so sorry for the experiance you are having. It sucks that you have to have a m/c and than wait for the bleeding to stop, wait for AF, wait for your cycles, wait, wait wait! Even when you know you are ready. Than you read things that say NO MEDICAL REASON TO WAIT? I was given the ok to start ttc right away. I would agree with all the ladies here... Get a second opp.. ask for a blood test.. make sure everything has passed, and ask why you have to wait "awhile"... ** HUGS**

[mum74]

I was about as far along as you - I had a curette at 8wks 5days after my first scan showed the baby had no heartbeat. My ob told me that I would get af approximately 4 weeks after the curette, and after that first af, we could ttc again. He has a very good reputation and I trust his professional opinion so I took heart from that so I know it must be so hard to hear that she wants you to use birth control.

I agree with everyone else - get a second opinion. Or see if you can find out why she was pushing you to wait. If it was for emotional reasons, then really that is something for only you and your dh to decide.