How did you date your loss?

onthebrink · #1 April 21st, 2009, 06:09 AM

I just had a d&c on Sunday 4/19. My last u/s on 4/17 at 9w3d showed no heartbeat and the baby was measuring about 8w so the baby was gone for a week or more. I want to be able to remember this baby and the day of my loss, but which date do I use?

Thanks...

Danielley08 · #2 April 21st, 2009, 06:25 AM

I've always gone by my actual loss date (once the baby is gone from my body)...my first loss was verified on 28 Mar but I didn't pass the baby until 8 Apr...my second loss was verified on 30 Jul and I had a D&C on 5 Aug...I use 8 Apr and 5 Aug as my loss dates...

But its complete and total personal preference...

lmunoz8517 · #3 April 21st, 2009, 06:40 AM

I use the day we found no heartbeat Feb 12th. didnt have my d&c until Feb 18th

Trish36 · #4 April 21st, 2009, 06:46 AM

Hi Margaret, I am so sorry for your loss! HUGS!!!! I use the date I passed the baby as my anniversary date. I found out on Feb 26 that the baby had no h/b (I was 11 weeks and 3 days then ) the baby only measured 8 weeks 4 days. I didn't start my m/c until Mar.2, but I only passed he baby on March 3, so that is the date I go by.

mlyster · #5 April 21st, 2009, 06:50 AM

I use the day the baby passed... but that is the same day it was verified. I found out 3 days earlier that the baby had a low hb but not NO hb... so for the me it is the same day.

I say it is personal preference so use whichever day feels more right to you... and you will probably not forget either day anytime soon (unfortunately).

~Angela~ · #6 April 21st, 2009, 06:57 AM

I use the day I found out there was no hb. One week before there was a hb (but it was low- 98). I didn't m/c until 2 weeks later.

MountainMomma · #7 April 21st, 2009, 09:37 AM

I didn't make it far enough to even have ultrasounds with any of mine. I use the day the bleeding started with all of mine.

Patriciamomofboys · #8 April 21st, 2009, 10:15 AM

I go by the date that the baby leaves me (my body). With my first loss I had a d&c around 13 weeks (I can't remember the exact date) and with my loss in feb I miscarried naturally a week after the ultrasound showed no heartbeat, 10 and a half weeks.

Sue46 · #9 April 21st, 2009, 11:04 AM

I go by the day I had the d&e which was 1 week after she passed.

rebeccabaltimore and more · #10 April 21st, 2009, 01:46 PM

I use the day he was born since that's what the hospital uses. We're not actually sure when he passed. He was alive when we got to the hospital the day before he was born, but he died sometime before he was born.

rebeccabaltimore and more · #11 April 21st, 2009, 01:47 PM

oops, double post

..Penelope.. · #12 April 21st, 2009, 05:10 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss, honey

My baby died around January 17 at 9 weeks, but my body didn't acknowledge the miscarriage until Feb 7 at 12 weeks. I will always remember both dates; I use Feb 7 as the date of my loss, because that's when it was confirmed.

However, the only belly pictures that I could keep were from up to 9 weeks. In the end, it's a personal choice, and only you can determine what feels right for you. *HUGS*

Alpha_allie1010 · #13 April 21st, 2009, 05:40 PM

I am sorry for your loss...I go by the date I started bleeding since I was 7wks and I hadnt had my u/s yet cuz I had gone out of town...I was scheduled for it on 3/3 and that morning I started bleeding and the doc confirmed that there was no hb and I actually passed the baby 3/5. I go by 3/3 cuz that is the day I found out and the day I started bleeding....

klt · #14 April 21st, 2009, 07:57 PM

I used the date that I actually started to bleed heavily and m/c. We lost the h/b between 6 and 7 weeks. I didn't m/c until about 3 weeks later...Oct. 27th Sorry for your loss...I hope you're doing OK.