[tobynscarlett]

Okay, my DD is now 3 years old and totally has a mind of her own!!! She is hard headed and stubborn to a fault (just like me ). Lately she has been REFUSING to use the potty or even wear her big girl panties. She was doing really well for a while but now she has decided that SHE is in control so I was forced to just back off and use diapers for a while. I know I can't physically make her go in the potty, so I am just choosing not to fight that battle (I know she will eventually go and one day she will be completely potty trained so I don't stress too much).

Well today DH left 1/2 a can of Coke on the kitchen counter- DD LOVES coke but I don't give it to her much (obvious reasons ). Well, she saw it and kept saying "Mommy, want Coke. Mommy, want Coke." At this point there are now 2 options- 1) I give it to her and she goes on her merry little way, or 2) I tell her no. Which will result in a complete and total mental breakdown on her part (did I mention she is a drama queen?) which will either end with her getting a spanking or standing in the corner. That will set the tone for the rest of the day. Then, option #3 occurs to me- Negotiate for what I want!!! So I tell her she can have the Coke if she will wear her big girl panties. Surprise!!! She says "YAY!!!" and went running to her room to get the panties. Now she is getting a caffeine fix, but I have the satisfaction of no diapers on a 3 year old today!! What we do for these kids.

BTW- I am usually very strict with the children and do not allow them to control me with temper tantrums. The crying and screaming usually results in a very clear punishment (the corner, separation from the group, and when necessary spanking). I do not give in once the screaming starts, but since she was so calm and willing she got her treat today (she also had a good breakfast so I am not too concerned). I just think it is kind of funny that I have now resulted to real negotiations with a 3 year old!!! Mommyhood really does change you!!!

[*SamF*]

LOL! That is great! Negotiation at it's finest!

[megal40]

DD is 2 1/2 and the key around our house is "Pick your battles." On safety or respect issues, I win but if it isn't such a big deal we let her "choose." Seems to avoid the melt downs you mentioned.
I think as parents we get concerned that we are doing it "right" when really it has to be what is right for that particular child. Sounds like you are a great mom!

[Trish36]

LOL that is great!! You know that;s not a bad idea. I have a 5 (well almost 6) year old who has really bad temper tantrums. I think I'm going to start negotiations and see how that will work. Thanks Heather!

[amylou378]

You could be describing my DD!! She refuses to be potty trained, and even the simplest things turn into a battle. *sigh* Maybe I need to give negotiation a try....

[Kary♥RN]

Heather.. I wonder if we could send you in for World Peace? Negotiaton 101! If you can negotiate with a 3 year old.. you could runs circles around those world leaders!

[missy123]

Wow, you are a fantastic mom! I love what you did with her. Maybe you could buy some caffeine free coke to have around for times like this?

[..Penelope..]

That was awesome!