[twoboys]

Ok, so its official, I am 4 weeks pregnant as of yesterday!! I was wondering when do you think is a good time to explain to my 5yr old son he will be a big brother. I am so scared after the last loss, but I am so excited to share it with him.. Last time I didnt tell him the baby had not survived, I told him when the doc looked in my tummy he didnt see a baby.. ( recently in school they had the death of a hamster and he bacame obsessed with worry over death) hence my hesitance to explain the truth about my last pregnancy, I simply told him I had made a mistake. When do you guys think I should tell him he is going to be a big brother thanks guys!! We know from my earlier post he has his suspicions, lol!!!

[lmunoz8517]

hum that is a hard one. My son overheard dh saying when the baby comes and he ask where the baby was I told him very simply it was in mommys belly and it would not be here until Christmas, he asked how it would come out at we told him mommy and daddy would stay at the hospital and the dr would take it out. good luck and let us know when you tell him

[AliciaF]

We didn't mention it to the boys until they asked, which was almost 11 weeks. It's a good thing because I went on to have 3 more losses after losing Clark. I am so glad I didn't tell them early and have them go through that as well.

[~~~Sara~~~]

I would hold out as long as you can, just because babies in tummies is a hard concept for a 5 year old if he doesn't get to be a big brother after all. I don't mean to sound negative, just cautious.

I hope he does and wishing you a wonderful pregnancy.

[mum74]

I would also err on the cautious side. I wouldn't have told my sons (they are 3 & 2) until I was 14 weeks or so along - just my personal choice. My 3 yo asks so many questions that if we had told them early (I miscarried at 8.5 weeks), he would have asked a lot about it and still not understood - for me I was glad they didn't know...

[Trish36]

My ds is almost 6 and we had told him right away when we got pregnant. He was really excited that he was getting a baby brother, cause he already has 2 sisters and it's just got to be a boy this time. Then we had the loss. Luckily ds is kind of in his own world and does't really know the meaning of time, so he has not questioned me about where the baby is. However, he has said to me once that Isabelle's rain boots are blue and red, and that's perfect for the new baby brother later on. So he still kind of thinks that the baby is coming eventually, he just doesn't know when. I feel terrible that I didn't say anything to him about the loss, but we hope to have another baby soon. On the other hand I don't want to tell him and make him upset that there won't be another baby.
If I were you I would hold off as long as possible! Being 4 he doesn't really know how long the baby has to be in your belly. I wish you a H&H 9 months and a beautiful baby in January!!

[Ryleeroo]

When I get pregnant again I will wait till after I get my nuchal scan around 12 weeks. At 20 weeks it was really hard to tell Rylee and she didn't understand. Although kids dont really know the concept of 9 months of being pregnant. But its also hard... to hide it when you obviously dont feel well and are sick and exhausted!

[~Angela~]

Last time around I really wanted to tell my 12-yr old, because I knew he'd be excited and would help out a bit more, but I didn't, and I'm glad he never knew. He asks lots of questions about everything, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it.

If your son seems in that stage of being obsessed/afraid of dealth, you might want to hold off, but if you think he could handle it if god forbid anything went wrong, and you could answer questions about it, then share you news!

[tobynscarlett]

My youngest are only 3 and about to turn 2 so they don't really understand. We have told my 3yr old that there is a baby in mommy's belly, but she also think there is a baby in DADDY's belly too!!! LOL She really doesn't understand. As for my step children (they are 12 and 9) we aren't telling them until we just don't have a choice. Mostly because they live with their mother and she is a stupid *****. She is the kind of person that would say something like "well, i hope this baby doesn't die too" and she would say it to the KIDS!!! When we tell them we also want to be able to say that we are past the point of our last loss and that even though we can never be sure of what God has planned for us, that everything with this baby looks good so far. My stepdaughter is the one I am most worried about. She has a very sensitive heart and she is the type that will worry herself sick and never tell anyone how she feels. Even now I sometimes take out Zachary's memory box and start looking through things while she is here. That seems like the only time she feels comfortable asking me questions about him. I think she is afraid that it will hurt my feelings if she brings him up first.

I am sure you will make the right decision for your family

[LissaDawn]

My son is 5 too and I am trying to wait until 1st trimester is over. He did ask me the other day why my belly is getting so big and I told him I didnt know!