Slap in the face

Kary♥RN · #1 May 17th, 2009, 10:34 AM

Dh and I get up early yesterday (Sat) and do the yard/garage sale thing. The development across the street from ours had a neigborhood one.
Can I tell you EVERY house and I mean EVERY house. Had baby stuff.. I have never in my life seen so many.. pack n plays, crib bumpers, infant seats, tub seats, mobiles, YOU NAME IT and it was there.. The more houses we went to the more depressed I got.. What happened to nick nacks? Old ladies clothes, old tires? WTH? I looked at my dh and he knew how bad I was hurting.. we didn't even finish the section. Oh and did I mention the UMPTEEN MILLION preggo women walking around? I need to move into that section.. or just drink the water.. It was frustrating. And I don't know how many had twins.. (or Irsh twins) alot of the houses had everything in two!

I just want one! Is that really to much to ask?

..Jessica.. · #2 May 17th, 2009, 10:58 AM

I'm sorry Kary!!!!

What a way to begin your weekend!! That really sucks!!!

Sending your way!!!

Trish36 · #3 May 17th, 2009, 11:04 AM

I'm sorry Kary!!!

That is a lousy start to the weekend! Maybe you should sneak into that neighbourhood and get some of the water....and then pass it on to all of us.

Kary♥RN · #4 May 17th, 2009, 11:10 AM

I was hoping one of the kids was selling lemonade.. you know it had to be made with the water..

Than again my luck it would have been bottled.. LOL

..Jessica.. · #5 May 17th, 2009, 11:11 AM

That's it girl, keep your chin up!!!

tobynscarlett · #6 May 17th, 2009, 11:40 AM

I am so sorry that upset you. On the otherside, think about what you may not have seen- how many of those houses do you think suffered a loss(es) before (or after) having their first or second? It's not hard to imagine that with that many babies and pregnant women there wouldn't be some heartbreak and tears in the process. The difference is that no one is going to hang a sign saying "We lost our baby and now we aren't having more children" just the same way I am sure you were not walking around wearing a shirt that said "Ask me about the baby I don't have".

I don't want this to upset you, but I do want you to have some perspective on the situation. Statistics say that out of 10 houses selling baby items, at least 3 of those houses have lost a pregnancy. That is a lot of women that feel your pain. On the other hand- all those houses with all that baby stuff means that many of those would have gone on to have healthy babies!!!

Kary♥RN · #7 May 17th, 2009, 12:46 PM

While you maybe right, I know the statistics are high. And I know that women loss thier babies... Look at us on this board. And I am not putting down someone elses loss. And yes those women very well might have suffered a loss. It still doesn't change the way I felt walking through that neighborhood. Even if I knew they had, had losses. i don't think it would have changed how I felt. Seeing all those baby things for sale and being overwhelmed by all of that and having so many pregnant women walking around. It was still a crapy feeling for me. It still hurt. And knowing I am not pregnant it still stings. All the items were nice but in used condition. Nothing was new, So I feel that I can say a baby had once used them.

.:Shortcake:. · #8 May 17th, 2009, 03:14 PM

Aww honey! I am so sorry. Huge hugs. Just try to stay optimistic!

KDD · #9 May 17th, 2009, 03:26 PM

I'm sorry Kary. We went out for lunch and one of the waitresses was pg, and pg women kept coming in as well. While I know that I don't know their stories (and if they had losses or also suffered infertility), it does feel like Mother Nature is rubbing it in. But the worst was when DH pointed to a lady and said "Wow, look at the size of her belly!" I wanted to slap him!

AngelBabies · #10 May 17th, 2009, 04:22 PM

Kary........ It just sux sometimes .......... sometimes they just seem to be everywhere........ and yes it feels like your having your nose rubbed into it and then all these not so nice thoughts start sneaking through your head.

Nothing I can say can make that easier..... If i knew what to say I would be able to make it easier for myself as well..... so... I ll just run with..... It Sux!

tobynscarlett · #11 May 17th, 2009, 05:45 PM

I hope what I said didn't offend you

I truly didn't mean it that way. It's just the way I find myself framing my thoughts right now. Just looking for a little perspective. I know it is difficult, I am dealing with some of the same feelings myself. My EDD is coming up on May 25 (which is memorial day) and that is hard enough, but on top of it I will also be 15 weeks pg that same week. We lost Zachary when he was 15 weeks, but didn't find out until he was 17 weeks. I am completely stressed out and so terrified I can't even look at baby things in the store. The only way I can deal is to say " I am not the first woman to live through this pain and I won't be the last." What I meant by my post was that even though those families may have suffered a loss, there is hope because they obviously went on to have more children.

I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, I should have put more thought into what I was writing so that it wouldn't be taken the wrong way

~Angela~ · #12 May 18th, 2009, 05:29 AM

klt · #13 May 18th, 2009, 06:16 AM

Sorry you had such a rough day. I'm glad your DH was sensitive to it. You take care. Your turn is coming!!! Thinking of you!

#14 May 18th, 2009, 06:19 AM

Awww Kary, I'm sorry hun. It does feel like a slap in the face. Sometimes I honestly don't know how I'm a nanny every day. One day I'm so jealous and the next I'm so happy that they have this healthy little baby and it gives me hope that it'll happen for me. It's just rough especially when it's unexpected. Just shopping around, la de da, oh and let's slap you in the face with all this used baby stuff. I know exactly how you feel.

*SamF* · #15 May 18th, 2009, 06:22 AM

I'm sorry too that you had such a bad day. But DH gets a big

for being so sensitive!

L-SBB · #16 May 18th, 2009, 07:16 AM

HUGS Kary...I swear I never noticed HOW MANY pregnant women or recently born babies there were until right after my loss...i suppose they were always there but i never noticed

But i understand how hard it is - like salt in an open wound - when you're trying so hard and it seems so easy for some. Stay positive sweetie...your turn is coming, and we'll all be celebrating with you when it does.

amandakay29 · #17 May 18th, 2009, 08:59 AM

Kary-I'm sorry. I remember after my 1st loss walking around the grocery store 3 days after and seeing all the pregnant women. I started crying, dh had to finish while I went to sit in the car. And it's not that you aren't happy for the women it's just you are sad for yourself.

~~~Sara~~~ · #18 May 18th, 2009, 09:01 AM

Awww I am sorry, it really does not seem fair.

Kary♥RN · #19 May 18th, 2009, 01:29 PM

OH Heather.. I was not offened at all... I was hoping I didn't offend you! I re-wrote my post several times... That is the one thing with writing... YOU read it, and the way you want it to sound maybe completly different that how the person reading either takes it, and reads it.

OFS- I took an acting class in High school.. we were all given the same quote to read.. It was supposed to be read like a shy, child like charater... Well I can tell you.. NO one read it that way. Depending on what words you put in to a question form, or say it loader or softer.. That one quote became so many different quotes.. I try when I write... I always think... Will they take this the wrong way.

It is all good!!!!