[..Jessica..]

I'm looking at the calendar, and in less than 30 days, the 2 year mark of me losing my baby will be here.

I can't believe it.

When my due date came, on February 14th, 2008... I was a mess, but, it passed quickly. Almost like my baby was telling me that it was okay to move on. My marriage ended a few months later, and I met the man I love today.

I recently threw out my positive FRER and the blank ClearBlue Digi, that once read "PREGNANT" telling me I was going to be a mommy. That was the best, and worst day of my life. If I didn't take those tests, would I have known? Would I have found out a month later, being further along? Would I have felt the pain of losing my child?

It's almost been 2 years and my fingers are still aching to feel my baby boy's sweet hair, and look into his beautiful brown eyes.

Why does this happen?

[Trish36]

HUGS Jess!!! I don't know why these things happen. Just doesn't seem fair. I always say that there is a reason for everything, but I can't find a reason in losing a child. I hope next month isn't too hard for you...maybe you will finally get your BFP!

[Kary♥RN]

Jess, questions that we always ask... but never can answer. It is not fair that we are here. Not fair that we have lost. I hate that we have to go through so many "dates" that are so important to us, but hurt so bad. I wish I could say something that woud make your hurt and pain go away and make everything ok... instead all I can do is write this...

[tobynscarlett]

I am thinking about you!!

[..Michelle..]

Big Hugs honey. I was looking at my calendar as well, Roman's first birthday and angelversary are coming up July 1st and July 8th....I don't know how I will feel. Especially if I'm not pregnant by then, and if I am I will be a total wreck for another reason!
I know I definately will be leaning on my DH and my counselor both those days! Remember Diego loves you and lean on him hard when you need to.
's sweetie, I'm thinking of you!

[KDD]

Hang in there. We are here for you whenever you need us.

[AngelBabies]

There is not a lot that can be said hun.........its a pain that doesnt go away you just learn to deal with it..... some days better than others. The only thing I can suggest is to be true to your feelings and never try and 'gloss over them' or 'push them under the mat' it will come back to bite you. Be true to them and allow them. Huge hugs hun.... we are all here for you.......ohhhhh and one more thing... lean when you need to ... because I know the days have been there and more will come when your there for others to lean on.

[..Jessica..]

Thank you all so very much!!!! This is exactly why I love my girls!!!

[amandakay29]

I just wanted to give you

Awww Jess I can't believe it's been that long. I am so glad this forum brought us together but I wish we had a happier reason to be friends. You are one tough cookie and have been here supporting everyone for so long. I hope you find some peace on that day and just know we are all here (I'm STILL here with you ) and someday it'll be our turn and your little angel Quinn will be watching over you smiling. I love you girl.

[dragonfly2006]

I feel the same..my due date came and went and now its almost been a yar since I found out I was pregnant...its something we have to live with forever

[..Penelope..]

Aww Jess, I'm sorry, hon. Thinking of you.