New here and need advice

JMbreaksthelaw · #1 May 19th, 2009, 04:12 PM

Hi everyone. I hate that I am here but looking for some help/advice that you could offer me. Here is my story:
Me- 32 years old
Husband- 34 years old
Son- born 1/06- 3 years old
Blighted ovum miscarriage and d&c- 7/27/08
Miscarriage and d&c at 7 weeks after seeing heartbeat- 5/13/09

So bascially I have one healthy child and have had 2 miscarriages in a year! I know this stuff happens and it might be just bad luck but I am so lost and confused right now. My dr. is great and he offered to run genetic tests on the material from the last d&c to see if there was something wrong. He also ran some tests on me to check for a blood clotting problem. I have not had my follow up appt. so I dont know the results of the tests yet. My dr. seemed to think that it probably is just bad luck and that we should try again. I want one more child so bad but the thought of getting pregnant and having a third miscarriage in a row is enough to never want to try again. I was wondering if any of you have had success after 2 miscarriages in a row? Is there anything else I should be asking the dr. to test me for? Should I go see a specialist? I really dont know what to think. I wish they would find something wrong with me so then at least I could know that it happened for reason. I had so much hope for this last pregnancy because I saw a heartbeat and now I have NONE! Should I just be happy with one child and give up on trying for another? I wish someone could tell me what to do and the right choice to make. Thanks for any advice you can give me.

mlyster · #2 May 19th, 2009, 04:20 PM

Sorry to have to welcome you here but you will find these ladies are comforting and knowledgeable. I have no experience with 2 m/c (only one) myself but I have a friend who m/c twice before giving birth to 2 healthy children. As far as I know it was just bad luck with her.

Hope the doctor has some answers for you. Don't give up hope yet!

.:Shortcake:. · #3 May 19th, 2009, 04:24 PM

Huge hugs hun. Welcome and I'm sorry you have to be here. My aunt had 5 m/c and has 3 healthy kids. And for her it was just bad luck. I have only had one m/c so far and no living children. Good luck ttc.

Boble · #4 May 19th, 2009, 04:48 PM

wow, your story reflects mine so much. I have a 9yo son and have had 3 m/c. One many years ago (when my son was 10mths old) and 2 recently. July 08 and Jan 09. the one in July was a missed m/c at 5wks. the one in Jan was a natural m/c at 8wks - after seeing a gorgeous little heartbeat.

We are currently ttc again but have had to take a break this month while getting testing for the recurrent m/c's. Im due to get my results in a couple of weeks.

Its hard to know what to do and the fear of another m/c is so hard to get over - but in the end if your desire for another bub outweighs your fear of m/c then you will know its time to ttc again. For us, our desire to have another bub is well above the fear of m/c - although i think that fear will always be there... i really want another baby (or a couple more)

good luck with your decision hun.. and remember - we are all here for you *hugs*

~~~Sara~~~ · #5 May 19th, 2009, 06:29 PM

Well believe me I know where you are coming from. I am so sorry for your losses and I am so sorry you are hurting so much you are reconsidering your desire for another baby.

I do understand as I say I want to TTC again, but I just don't know when I will be strong enough, I feel like if I have another loss I will lose my mind.

By the way I am also 31, so not a teenager, but not advanced maternal age.

Hang in there, I will be thinking of you and hope you stick around here.

starrsgirl · #6 May 19th, 2009, 06:31 PM

I believe it's possible! I have to believe because we have had two losses already and I hope that having kids is in our future. Honestly, I think it's a really positive thing that you have a healthy son. If anything, he should give you hope that you can carry a healthy pregnancy. It doesn't mean that you won't experience another loss...I hope that you don't...but I see hope! And I think it's worth it to go through the pain. Hey, that's why we are all here. We are hear to help and listen.

I have seen a specialist myself already and am waiting on some test results. It's definitely something you could look into pursuing.

KDD · #7 May 19th, 2009, 06:52 PM

Hi there. It's definitely possible. My coworker had 3 losses before she had her healthy son! With her she had low progesterone and once that was diagnosed she used supplements and had no further problems.

As for me, I'm TTC my first. I had one loss last year.

Please feel welcome to jump in and start posting. This board really helped me get through my loss.

Cherished1 · #8 May 19th, 2009, 07:25 PM

Hi dsmom I'm so sorry for your losses. Don't give up hon and if you really feel like that is what you want to do maybe just take the pressure off yourself and see what happens.. I'm sure you will fall pregnant again and you will have a healthy happy baby

tobynscarlett · #9 May 19th, 2009, 07:43 PM

There have been several women on here that had multiple losses then went on to have healthy pregnancies. I would get all of the testing done just for peace of mind, but I do believe it is a positive sign that you have had a healthy son!!! It proves you can do it!!!

..Penelope.. · #10 May 19th, 2009, 07:44 PM

I'm sorry for your losses

My sister had four early pregnancy losses and a stillbirth at 6 months before having her daughter and son (with no losses between). It is possible...please don't give up hope!

..Jessica.. · #11 May 19th, 2009, 09:00 PM

Welcome to the board...

I'm very sorry to hear of your losses!!! It breaks my heart everytime someone new joins this board!!!

farasha · #12 May 20th, 2009, 03:56 AM

Welcome to the board hun. I'm so sorry for your losses. I've had two losses this year as well, and I'm currently having the same testing done! I'm very scared to get pregnant again, and I have no children... but we want them bad enough that I'm willing to give this one more shot! Still, I'm going to give my body a little extra time to rest than I did last time. If you want a second child, I would try it. It's ultimately your choice, but you have all the support in the world right here!

~Lynda~ · #13 May 20th, 2009, 06:56 AM

hi there, i will start by saying i'm very sorry you are going through your 2nd loss. I have had two also. it's horrible!!!! i feel much the same way you do. but i am trying again. i feel it in my heart, that i am to try again. i would just tell you to follow your heart/gut!!! it won't steer you wrong!!!! HUGS

Ryleeroo · #14 May 20th, 2009, 09:21 AM

Im sorry for your losses and welcome. My doctor told me and I read that around 20% of pregnacnies end in miscarriage (or chemical pregnancies) so you are not alone! We have had one chromosonal loss and one chemical pregnancy and my doctor doesnt feel the need to do further testing right now. Good Luck and Dont give up!

Momeejenjen · #15 May 20th, 2009, 09:30 AM

I agree don't give up, many women with multiple miscarriages go on to have beautiful healthy babies. I know it's difficult... I would really urge your doctor to do some more testing , progestrone and others to make sure you don't need suppliments.

amandakay29 · #16 May 20th, 2009, 09:40 AM

Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for your losses. Please don't give up. I have only had one miscarriage we saw a heartbeat like you and lost the baby at 8 weeks 4 days. I got pregnant 2 months later and went on to have my little guy Wyatt. I'm currently pregnant with #2. And have had some spotting. And I'm a "hot" mess. I'm also 31 years old...so no spring chicken here. But after the loss, when I held Wyatt in my arms...I knew no matter how many losses I had to have holding that baby in my arms is worth all the heartbreak in the end. Good luck to you!

charlierays · #17 May 20th, 2009, 10:14 AM

I am sorry for your pain. Our stories are similar. I have a 15-month-old ds (conceived through IVF) and recently suffered 2 losses (conceived naturally) within 4 months. I had a natural mc at 5.5 weeks in december and had a d&c at 9 weeks (after hearing the hb) last month. We had genetic testing done on the fetus with this d&c and everything came back normal.

I am now 5 weeks post-d&c and I'm waiting for AF. I then plan on contacting our specialist (who helped us conceive ds) and have a recurrent pregnancy loss screening done. They will check for things like clotting disordered, antibodies, and genetic abnormalities that dh and/or i may be carriers for. We'll then take it from there.

I want to be aggressive because i know what i want. I need answers and I have try to find them. And i know in my heart that i am not done and ds WILL have a sibling. I have to keep my sight on the goal.

JMbreaksthelaw · #18 May 20th, 2009, 02:51 PM

Thanks for all the replies, it means so much. I know it is still so new to me since I just had a d&c last week. I wish that I saw a light at the end of the tunnel but right now all I see is more pain. That is why I am scared to death of trying again. I would love to see a another baby in my future but I dont and I dont know why because I want it really bad. I am going to see what my dr. says when I see him in a week and if I dont like his answers I am going to go to a specialist. Does anyone know of any in Southern CA? I am in Orange County. I just hate picking someone out of a book without knowing anything about them. Thanks guys.