feeling discouraged... just need to vent

megal40 · #1 May 24th, 2009, 08:08 PM

Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday weekend.

I know I am not here a lot but when I do need to come, I feel very welcomed. I am just feeling a little down about my whole TTCAL situation and didn't really have anywhere else to "vent:"

Anyway, I am about 9-11 DPO and tested this morning--BFN. I know it is early and it is never over until "SHE" shows up, but I just want to be pg. I know I can't replace my lost children, but I want to expand our family. To add to it I think if we don't get pg this cycle we will be waiting about 4 months because of due dates and "work conflicts." I know we shouldn't completely put life on hold because of work but I want to have as much time with a new baby as I did with our DD.

Okay, so thanks for reading my thoughts. I think I will wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to test again. I hate the disappointment of a BFN.

tobynscarlett · #2 May 24th, 2009, 08:14 PM

I am so sorry you are feeling disappointed right now. TTCAL is such a hard emotional rollercoaster sometimes

We all know that you aren't trying to replace your angels, but it sure would be nice for a healthy baby to join your family. Pleas keep us posted and just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

#3 May 24th, 2009, 08:16 PM

I so relate to your disappointment. We've been trying since last November and today was our 2nd month NTNP and even though AF isn't due until Tues or Wed, I got another BFN this morning. I'm very sure I'm not in the game AGAIN. It's very discouraging for us, especially when sometimes we feel that maybe this is the worlds way of telling us we just need one baby in our lives so we start to think about not trying again, but do only to be let down again.

Well, I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I can only hope thigns will happen when the time is right.

Boble · #4 May 24th, 2009, 08:22 PM

sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I hope you get your bfp when you test next so that you can move on. TTCAL is such a hard road especially when you need to consider other factors in your life.

best of luck

starrsgirl · #5 May 24th, 2009, 08:37 PM

I'm sorry you are having a tough time! I understand your frustration and that you want to be pregnant RIGHT NOW, not 3 cycles from now. It's tough that you can do everything "right" but still feel like it's out of your hands. I bet most of the women on this board are a little like me in that they want to have control of what's going on with their bodies.

Hang in there and keep talking to us! We'll get you through all the months that it takes.

FruitLoopLace · #6 May 25th, 2009, 04:28 AM

Just wanted to say hugs, and I am sure after this recovery, I will be just as frusterated and nervous and on a one track mind. It is difficult to wait, it seems unfair to have to wait, especially when we dont know WHY we have too. Hope it is still early andthe BFP will show herself ASAP!!

.:Shortcake:. · #7 May 25th, 2009, 04:48 AM

I just wanted to say G/L and KUP! I pray you get you BFP this month!

Kary♥RN · #8 May 25th, 2009, 05:57 AM

Was this the first full cycle since your m/c?.... I can tell you that cycle was the worst for me. I was crushed, devastated that I did not concieve. I cried, Like you said I couldn't replace the baby I lost. I just wanted to have my pregnancy back. too know I was carrying a baby again. I felt so empty.. betrayed by my body yet again. Just know how your are feeling, you are not alone!!!
HUGS
I Hope you BFP is just late.... and you will come back on here with great news.

twoboys · #9 May 25th, 2009, 08:00 AM

I too hope and pray that you get your pfb this month!! and that its just a little too early to test right now!! I was 12dpo before I got my bfp!! and even then it was really really light, barely could see it!! KUP

jen805 · #10 May 25th, 2009, 08:56 AM

I suffered 3 m/c's before I had my 8 y/o, and I swear, I don't know how I survived without all the support that's so freely given here on JM! I hope that venting helps relieve some of your angst... I know sometimes just getting the words transferred from your mind into text can be such a weight lifted off your shoulders! Know that we're all here for you--and most importantly, we all get it!

You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Trish36 · #11 May 25th, 2009, 09:03 AM

Just wanted to send you some HUGS!!! and hope your BFP is going to pop up within the next few days. Don't give up hope!

~~~Sara~~~ · #12 May 25th, 2009, 09:03 AM

Ugh, I hate that disappointment too and I hope you get your BFP in a couple days.

farasha · #13 May 25th, 2009, 11:39 AM

Just wanted to give you a hug! You can vent here anytime! I really hope that you do get that positive test this cycle. I know how disappointing is to see the months go by.

ilovefh · #14 May 25th, 2009, 02:48 PM

I hope you get your BFP this cycle! It's such a rough thing to go through! You're always welcome to vent!

megal40 · #15 May 25th, 2009, 06:31 PM

Thanks a lot ladies for all of your kind words. We are back to day one today

. She showed up about 3 hours ago.

I am thankful that I have a group of women who, and I quote, "get it!"

The ups, the downs, the TMI. I know JM is where I can go.

Off to talk with DH about where we go from here...

Thanks again for the support. IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!

JMbreaksthelaw · #16 May 26th, 2009, 07:22 AM

It totally happens when you "put things on hold." Everyone always says it will happen when you are not trying and it is so true. The last time I got pregnant my husband was out of town during that time. It must have happened right before he left or right after. I dont know because I never really charted I just always felt that O pain. Anyways I had no hopes of it happening and sure enough it did. Good luck to you and dont think just because your schedules are busy for the next few months that it cant happen.