[starrsgirl]

Some of our best friends announced that they were expecting yesterday. We don't live in the same place anymore and my girlfriend posted it on Facebook and sent a mass email to everyone in her address book. Well, I promptly burst into tears. My DH tried to comfort me by telling me everyone has their own time and don't worry about what other people are doing and so on....It was then that I realized I wasn't crying because I was jealous they were pg (OK, like 1% of me was). I was CRYING because I was jealous of their carefree ways. My girlfriend is only 9 weeks pregnant. Like I said, she announced it to the world after the first ultrasound and has pictures up everywhere. She doesn't have a care in the world. I was crying because I will NEVER be able to do that. We lost our last at almost 11 weeks...after a perfect ultrasound. I will never trust a pregnancy again until I have the baby in my arms. There is a big cloud over my future pregnancies. I doubt I will ever have the guts to announce in on Facebook...i will just be too worried. I'm so jealous of my friend's ability to just love the pregnancy and enjoy every minute.

[szczepanski]

I'm so sorry sweetie......I told everyone at like 6 weeks. We couldn't keep it in...DH was so excited and proud and I was so thrilled and wanted everyone to know. It was up on Facebook, I practically had "WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!" tattooed across my forehead.

I still have people asking me how my pregnancy is going.

[BellaBellski]

Do I ever know what you mean!!! I really want the days back where you think you get pregnant & nine months later out pops your little baby, nothing bad happens.

[Boble]

im exactly the same as Heather... Im not so good with secrets.

after the m/c in July we were a bit more "sensible" - waited till we got results back from our bHCG tests, rising perfectly... waited till our first u/s - saw heartbeat... sung it from the rooftops again - lost that one too

next time we are going to try to not tell anyone at all until we can't keep it because I am showing. Im scared as soon as we tell people that we are going to m/c again

[~~~Sara~~~]

I know exactly what you mean, I am sorry, it stinks that we can't have the wonderful carefree attitude. Hugs, I really do understand.

[taralyn]

I feel the exact same way. One of my best friends from highschool sent out the mass email on facebook saying she was pregnant. I felt pretty much the same way you did...a teeny bit jealous of the fact she was pregnant, even more jealous of the fact that she's now 18 weeks and doesn't have a care in the world...also we would have been due around the exact same time. It really does suck. I think back to the night before that first Dr. appt when I had plans to do the whole facebook thing, before the ultrasound showed no heart beat. Not sure I would even think about doing that again. I feel your pain girl, really I do!

[charm]

Hugs to you I understand exactly where you are coming from my Dh said next time lets not tell anyone until we have to we told family at 6 weeks anf friends at 10 weeks as I was showing fast we lost our bub at 12 weeks I still have ppl asking how is the pregnancy or have you had the baby already It is sucky but hey we all have each other here maybe we can draw a huge roof and us on it screaming hey we are pg and only we will know I don't know really about going though another pg without the cloud it will never happen after a m/c I don't think sorry to sound so negative.

[sallyk61]

After the loss and grief that is the worst part. That it will never be an innocent pregnancy again.. I know totally how you feel.

[FruitLoopLace]

I was a care free chic for a long time. I have had 7 beautiful term babies. Why would this happen to me?? I am not rocking in your boat with you, it will never be the same, i have been cut in my heart by pure grief and pain, its terrrible, I have no clue when I will tell anyone.

[Kary♥RN]

I don't think anyone who as experianced a loss will ever look at pregnancy again. Our innocence has been lost. We now know the sting, the hurt, the grief and the what ifs. If I concieve again. I think I will be living in baggy clothes for the first 8 1/2 months before we tell anyone... This last time we told our immidate family after the u/s, my cousin went onto my facebook... (I don't check it very offten) And posted a BIG pregnant belly.. the was sometime between the Jan 22-25 (I was PO'd) .. I sent out a mass e-mail due to this fact on the 26th we lost the HB on the 29th..... Than had to send out another e-mail... I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT again!!!!!!

[twoboys]

I know it is terribly hard, and after my loss I am pregnant again, I am just starting to feel comfortable with the whole idea of telling people.. I said I would never be able to, but I am and I am feeling good about it.. just never say never, you never know, maybe you will have a change of heart when you get that BFP!!! Good Luck.. and I am sorry you are going through this.. I had to throw a baby shower at my house 2 weeks after losing the baby.. it was rough.. but the invitations were already out.. you will get through it, I promise!!

[tobynscarlett]

I know that hurts. I will be 14 weeks tommorrow and we still haven't told DH's family or my step children. To me, the worst part after losing Zachary was having to tell people he was gone- that hurt me to the core. I didn't even tell my own mom until I was 8 weeks and had an u/s this time. Now I have rented a doppler and check the HB at least twice a day to keep from going crazy. I know I will never get an innocent carefree pregnancy ever again- that is like a loss in itself. I will never again assume that a healthy baby will be born at the end, there will always be that fear of "it" happening again. The only thing that makes me feel better is that when we all have happy newborns the emotional pain of the pregnancy will melt away and seem so insignificant, but living in the moment can be so hard.

[jen805]

I totally get it! All of it.... things will never be the same again until you're holding your earth-bound baby in your arms!

[Trish36]

I'm sorry Liz. BIG HUGS!!!! That used to be me...carefree announcing it to the world really early on and the thought of anything going wrong never ever entered my mind.
Unfortunately now we will be more careful and worry about everything. I hope that even though you will be stressing out over your pregnancy you will still be able to enjoy the little miracle growing inside of you. I think because of what you have gone through you will treasure every moment even more!

[mary30]

I can understand completly ,I am almost 29 weeks.( even though it is a litte easier) I worry eveyday.. All I think about is this baby and I wish August would hurry up and get here.... I am sorry that you hare having a hard time.. Chin up and a great big hug

[L-SBB]

HUGS Liz...we all definitely understand how you feel! DH & I only just told our families yesterday about this pregnancy...and I still worry that i've somehow jinxed it by announcing it. We unfortunately don't get to enjoy that carefree pregnancy....but maybe we'll appreciate it all the more because we know how fragile a thing it can be? HUGS

[Alpha_allie1010]

I totally feel like that too! I think the fear of losing another baby will over shadow getting pregnant again so we will probably wait quite a while before we tell people next time. We only told family this last time so thankfully we didnt have to answer any questions at work or to friends since most of them didnt know we were even pregnant.

[Mel1979]

You are not alone. We all have the same fear. The first time we were pg we were waiting to even tell our parents and unfortunately we lost the baby before we got to tell them. We ended up telling them about the m/c because we needed their support. This time we told our parents and siblings as we knew if something happened we would need their support again. I would never, ever consider telling anyone else until at least after my 12 week scan. I will try and leave it as long as possible (until I can't hide it anymore). Before this loss, I was a little worried as I was starting to show at 8 weeks and didn't know how I was going to hide it.

I had 18 months between losses and the anxiety I felt when I got pg last time was so intense, I really thought after 18 months I would handle it a little better. I was just starting to relax a little and enjoy it when we got bad news at our first scan and then had 2 weesk of hell waiting. I don't think I will ever be able to relax and enjoy pg, it will simply be something I need to go through in order to have a healthy baby. It breaks my heart to think like that but at the moment I do. I have had 4 internal scans all up with both my pg and all have been bad news so I will never, ever have that excitement of going for a scan. All I will be is petrified.

Although I am envious of people who have that first pg innocence, I try not to be too jealous as you never know what could happen in their pg. I know of people who have announced it and then lost their baby.

Big hugs to you starrsgirl, I feel exactly the same as you.

[KDD]

I totally understand how you feel. We have 2 friends who are each pg with their 3rd and both announced all of the pregnancies right away. While I'm grateful that they have had healthy pregnancies, I know that I will never be that carefree. I don't know if I will be able to relax when I am (finally) pg again. I guess that unless you've experienced a loss first hand you really don't think of it being a possibility.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Huge hugs hun.