[charlierays]

Well almost 6 weeks after the D&C and AF finally arrived on Sunday. I've been waiting anxiously for this...this is my closure and I can finally move one, face my fears, and maybe try again this month.

I've had a few meltdowns since AF arrived. I guess I am just dealing with all of this. The last 6 weeks of my life has been pure hell. I can't think straight, can't hold a conversation with anyone, and I definitely don't want to be around people. What a nightmare...i wish i could wake up from this. If it wasn't for DS I probably would have truly hit rock-bottom. His smile keeps me afloat.

I only wish that there was someone I can talk to...someone who understands or who can at least try to understand and give me the opportunity to mourn and express my pain. Everyone in my life seems to think that this should all be ignored. I really feel like there is no one in my life who cares enough to simply ask how I am doing and who wants to hear the answer.

I just don't know how to deal with any of this. And I feel less of a wife and less of a mother because I have been in a tail spin. I only wonder if getting preggo again will just make matters worse...

i hate myself...

[.:Shortcake:.]

Firstly huge hugs hun. And second all of us here at JM know exactly what your are going through. Feel free to PM me at any time you need to talk. I can't tell you that your ever going to feel 100% but it does get better in time. I am still TTC my first and I know it is h*ll especially when all you want is to hold your child in your arms. But make sure you express yourself and allow yourself to get your feelings out.

[tobynscarlett]

You still have a long road ahead of you, but you will get to the end. When I had my first AF after my loss I HATED it. I felt like it was a constant reminder of everything I didn't have and it broke my heart. It was a very difficult time, especially when you feel like you can't talk to anyone about it. If you really want to talk to someone, PM me your phone number and I will call you- sometimes you just need to talk to someone who has been there. I am thinking about you and sending you lots of hugs and prayers today!!!

[Trish36]

HUGS!!!! We here at TTCAL totally understand and are here for you whether you need to vent, ask a question or just a shoulder to cry on. You will be on an emotional roller coaster for a while, but talking about it will hopefully help you heal and move on. It is really sad that most people can't understand what we are going through and that makes it so much harder on us. Please know that you are not alone. I can see that you've had a long and hard struggle to get pregnant and I'm sorry.

[twoboys]

Everything your feeling is very normal.. I am sorry you are not having much support.. I felt the same way when we lost, it was as if it wasnt a "big deal" to the family.. very sad, this is a great place to talk about your loss.. (((((( hugs )))))))