[JessP]

Ok so I really want to start trying again after this AF if DH is willing but am so scared of it happening again. My doctor recommended we wait a couple cycles to ensure my hormones were all back to normal. In fact going on tomorrow (Friday) to see if they are because I feel kinda off. Anyway I really want another baby, but am also so scared of going through another MC. And I know that DH won't want to keep trying if we do get prego again and go through another MC. He told me after this one that if he agrees to another try and it doesn't work out he is done. It was just so hard on him emotionally. Well and me to be honest of course. But for those of you trying and succeeding do you find yourself a total basket case of worry? I just picture myself freaking out about everything. What did you do that helped? How long did you wait before you tried again? Thanks for any help. Sending lots of baby dust to all those trying .

[szczepanski]

I'm waiting for AF to show up and then we will be TTC - so it will be 1 cycle....but about 2 months since my miscarriage.

Its very scary to think about how you could go through this again...but for me, I just think about how much I want to be a Mom and make my DH a daddy. That desire outweighs the fear of going through another loss. I mean, it is on my mind and I do wonder "what if it happens again", but at the same time, I want to have a baby. Doing that does involve some risk.

My only advice is to try and think less about "last time" and more about "this time". That is what I am trying to do anyway.

[megal40]

Jess,

I have been through it twice. Had a m/c in Feb '06 and the conceived DD and she was born Dec '06. After the first m/c I was a mess. It wasn't until I was into the middle of my 2nd trimester that I relaxed-- a little. I don't think anyone can go through being pg the same as before they experienced a m/c.

As you can tell from my '06 dates, we tried (and were successful) immediately following our m/c. I think as long as there are no serious medical issues that your DR has discussed then the wait is more about how long it might take for your body to return to its "normal."

I am currently having "flashbacks" to '06. I had a m/c in March and am currently TTC again. I know that after two m/c I will be a mess again when I am pg. But, for me and DH, it is worth all of the bad for the end result. I wouldn't trade any of my pain or hurt or sleepless nights now that our DD is here.

I hope your wait is short and you go on to a H&H 9 months!

[.:Shortcake:.]

I just wanted to say huge hugs hun and good luck TTC

[charlierays]

I'm going through the same thoughts right now. My first AF after the D&C is here and I am struggling with trying this month. My doctor told us to wait one full normal cycle, which would be next month, but a big part of me really wants to try again immediately. I know its risky, but waiting is just not me.

I had a difficult loss (ectopic) before we conceived DS, and thinking back I wouldn't trade anything that happened...that road led us to our son. With this loss, I am having a more difficult emotional time (for a few reasons). But my desire to have another baby is really really strong. The problem that I am having is that I am more fearful of being pregnant...the worry and anxiety will be bad. But I HAVE to get through it...i can't let that stop me.

[JessP]

Thanks ladies this helps. I am not so alone and I do so want another one. Been wanting one for 2 years. Luckily I do have two wonderful children but I just love my kids and love being a mom and wanted one more.

[~Lynda~]

i NEVER dreamed it would happen to me 2x, NEVER!!! it's so horribly scary to think it could happen again!!!! but that won't stop me. the reward is too awesome!!!!

[*SamF*]

I had the three losses, although the last one I knew almost immedietly that it wasn't going to work. I have never made it this far, and worry every day, I'm sure I will worry until I feel the babies move. It's normal after a loss to question everything about a new pregnancy.

Hope you get a BFP and a sticky bean soon!

[LIZZYI]

We started trying again right after af showed.

I think about how I will be if/when I get preg again. I think I will be a nervous wreck but the end result is worth it!

[Elijah'sMommy]

I want to wish you lots and lots of luck!!!
I got pg following 1 cycle after a loss in Dec. I am 10 weeks now and I still worry everyday (especially the closer I get to appts) that something will go wrong. I have an appt tomorrow and I am sick with worry that I won't hear a HB. I feel more secure after a good appt but I feel like I will still be worrying until I feel my baby move.

[rebeccabaltimore and more]

My loss was different - a stillbirth, but my doc said that under no circumstances was I to get pregnant within the first two cycles, we would be guaranteed a m/c. DH freaked out and said we were waiting at least 4 cycles, but we compromised and we're TTC after three.

Now my SIL had a miscarriage in November and was told by her midwife to wait 2 cycles, but she didn't and got pregnant 3 weeks after the m/c. She's due in September and both she and the baby are doing great.

If I were you I'd call the doctor and ask how firm that recommendation is. In my case it was an unbreakable rule, but I don't think it's like that for most people.

[JessP]

I am going to be seeing the doctor tomorrow about some concerns I have and will ask him about how firm the time frame was. Thanks for the advice. I know when it happened he told me that there was nothing we did wrong or anything wrong with me.

[FruitLoopLace]

I just wanted to say GL!

[KDD]

My Doctor said to wait until after AF showed to try again. We started trying that first cycle. Everyone seems to get different advice from their doctors on how long to wait. Good luck at your appt.

[tobynscarlett]

I lost my son (my 3rd baby) in december at 17 weeks- I am now 14 weeks pregnant and I can tell you that pg after loss is a terrifying and rewarding time. I am constantly scared I will lose this one and I have cried my way through (and to) every Dr's appointment. I did rent a doppler so that I can listen to the baby at home, and I do that at least 2x's a day. It really helps to hear it when I start getting worried. I just want you to know that there is nothing you can do to erase the worry and fear that comes with TTCAL, but there are ways to deal with it. Talking to the ladies here is a wonderful first step, finding a great dr who understands also helps, and just going for it is really the only way to do it. I know that my DH is scared of losing this one, and I know he believes that if I lose this one I won't be able to handle it and we may end up divorced. He is scared that it will change me to the point that I just don't want to be with him. What he doesn't quite get is that a MC changes you anyway- that you will never be the same and your life is always a little different because of it. I am doing the best I can to get through this pregnancy, but I will always be a little afraid (sometimes a lot afraid). Good luck to you and please stick around!!!

[JessP]

Thanks so much . Just talking to you ladies has given me hope and makes me want to try that much more. Sending sticky baby dust to everyone.

[MrsB1227]

my doc suggested waiting two cycles before TTC, but i did some research and didn't really feel the need to wait that long, I had an early natural miscarriage and my cycles returned to normal quickly so we started trying after the first cycle. I am now on my second cycle and at the end of my 2WW. Whenever I get pregnant I know i'll be a basketcase of nerves, but I will just have to deal with it! I want a baby and if this is what it takes then so be it, so I'll just have to be brave and hopeful and try to remain positive. It also helps to imagine the day when I'll finally have my little one, I know that will make all the worry and heartache worth it.

[JessP]

Went to the doctor today he did some blood work to see how my hormone levels were just to check. He said that it is possible that I will be irregular now and this might be my new normal but to give it at least one more cycle to see. Just the weirdest cycle right now. Like it keeps acting like its going to start and then nothing. Today I thought I was cramping went home because I felt like crap and laid down still not AF in fact the spotting seems to have supsided. So I am just letting it do its thing and waiting. I hope I get back to normal soon.

[amandakay29]

I'm sorry for your loss. My very first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. All sorts of bad things went through my head. I thought I was broken and couldn't have children. We had to have a d & c and I was told to wait 3 cycles. We waited two and got pregnant with Wyatt. The whole time I was worried. Up until the day I delivered. But I can tell you after holding him in my arms...I don't care how many miscarriages I have since I've seen what the end result can be. (I mean I care it would break my heart but you know what I mean) Good luck to you TTC. I hope it comes easy for you!