[szczepanski]

So I finally have my new laptop and I can type without 500 different windows popping up (DH's is super fancy and the keyboard is annoyingly different) and I can share whats been going on in my mind without getting frustrated and walking away, haha.

I am officially on my first TTC cycle. Ever. Add on the stress of it being my first TTC after our loss, and I am just slightly freaking out. I am totally excited and thrilled that DH and I are on the same page with all of this and both really excited to start this journey together.

When we got our last BFP, it was a total surprise. We had only been married a month, and it was ONE possible time for us to get PG. I'm trying not too...but I've got my hopes up that it will happen again. I'm also a birthmom..and when I got PG then (with a gorgous & perfectly healthy little girl), that was also one possible time for that to happen. So I am trying to keep myself from getting too excited. I understand that trying is completely different than an oopsie and the cruel irony is that when most people try, it does take longer.

But.....I know I will be really crushed if it doesn't happen right away. No matter how much I'm trying to tell myself to just have fun with it and enjoy the process...I start to get a little worried that it wont happen. And then I feel guilty because there are women out there who have been trying for months and months and months and here I am sitting here worried that I wont get PG right away. I would be lucky to get PG within 6 cycles, let alone just 1.

I guess the worry never ends though right? First its worrying that you wont get PG...then worrying that you get through the first 13 weeks...and then the next few months...and then delivery...and then that something will happen to your precious little one for the next zillion years. So basically, I should just prepare myself to constantly worry right? Hehe.

Whew. I feel much better now. And if anyone made it this far, you deserve a medal.

Awww hun I can understsand. I am one of the ppl that has been waiting months and months and months and it doesn't bother me when women want to get pg right away, we all do! That's why we're here! I hope it only takes you a month or two to see that beautiful bfp! And yes, we are in for lifelong worry! Lucky us

[.:Shortcake:.]

I'm glad you got a new computer! And hun I have been stressing out TTC and sometimes it really takes a toll on you, DH, and the relationship. So try not to put too much pressure on yourselves. Hugs and I hope you get your BFP soon.

[..Penelope..]

Aww Heather, I totally understand. I'm glad that just getting it out made you feel a bit better.

I know that I'm going to be the exact same way when DB and I start TTC. I really hope you get your BFP this month!

[Momeejenjen]

Welcome, yes you are right... you are only skimming the surface of worry that you will be faced with for the rest of your life


And don't feel bad for wanting a BFP right now, we ALLLLL want a BFP right now. I am one of those that has been trying for months and months... as each month passes I get more and mroe angry... I tried this month to REALLY tone it down and just go with the flow (almost missing my ovulation time)

We will see.

I hope you get your BFP quickly. Keep your head up.

[..Jessica..]

Welcome back on the new computer!!!

Honestly...you just typed out how a lot of us have been feeling lately! I'm one of them!

It'll happen girl!!!

[szczepanski]

Thanks so much for being so supportive and listening to me whine.

I just felt so bad having to get it off my chest and whining how worried I was about not getting PG...when there are women out there who have been trying for longer than I've even wanted to be PG. Part of me just felt like I should shut my mouth until I had something to complain about. But I feel much better now.

[momof6lopez]

Heather, I understand how you feel. After not ovulating the first two cycles after my d&c, I finally have gotten a positive OPK. But I knew from the start that it might take awhile for my body to get back to full norm. Good luck to us this month!

[Trish36]

yes, the worry just never goes away. if it's not one thing it's another. HUGS!! We just have to remember to look on the bright side and try to enjoy our pregnancies as much as possible. I know it will happen for you soon !!

[missy123]

wow, today I have been feeling like I won't get pregnant again. It is like you took the words out of my mouth.

[farasha]

I don't think you ever have to apologize for worrying. It's natural for us to worry after what we've been through. Don't worry about it hun. I hope it does happen for you quickly, but either way, we'll listen to you in the meantime! But try not to stress too much about it yet! You'll wear yourself out! Easier said then done.... I know!!!

[KDD]

Originally Posted by szczepanski

I guess the worry never ends though right? First its worrying that you wont get PG...then worrying that you get through the first 13 weeks...and then the next few months...and then delivery...and then that something will happen to your precious little one for the next zillion years. So basically, I should just prepare myself to constantly worry right? Hehe.

Wow - you said it - we all think it though.

Good luck with cycle #1. I hope it doesn't take too long to get your BFP!

[taralyn]

Good luck with cycle #1, and I also totally know where you are coming from! My first BFP was also kind of an oops...we had literally just started NTNP and there it was! When we started TTC after my D&C i thought it would happen that way again...but here I am at cycle 3. I just can't shake this feeling that my first BFP was my one chance and I somehow blew it... so yeah...we've def been where you are!!