Have any of you had to deal with this?

JMbreaksthelaw · #1 June 6th, 2009, 08:38 AM

So my inlaws who in my opinion are crazy bible beaters have some very strong opinions on God's decision and reasons why some of us cant have healthy babies. In their sick, twisted minds they feel that if God wanted people like us to get pregnant and have kids then we wouldnt have miscarriages or issues that affect our fertility. They feel that people who use medical assistance, drugs, IVF, or anything that helps our chances of conceiving are wrong and we shouldnt be doing this because those kids that result from medical technology were not meant to be born. They believe that we should apparently just accepts God's will and deal with the fact that we were not meant to have children if it doesnt happen naturally. Since my DH and I already have a child they told me that God only wanted us to have one and that is why I have had 2 miscarriages since he was born. I found out I have the MTHFR defect and my dr. said that he would have me use baby aspirin, etc. if I get pregnant again. They told me that we would be crazy to try again and take medicine while I was pregnant to try and help something that was never meant to be. OH MY GOD, I am going to lose it on them. How can people be this insane. Have any of you any encounter this? I guess there are a lot of really religious people who truly believe this crap. I want to cry, what do you even say to people like this? One thing I do know is Karma will get them and I hope I am around to see it!!! Arghhhhhhh so frustrating!!!

szczepanski · #2 June 6th, 2009, 08:40 AM

Why would God deny any one the joy of having or raising a child?

If they get sick with cancer or some other disease are they going to refuse treatment because God wanted them to get cancer and die?

Boble · #3 June 6th, 2009, 09:28 AM

oh dear.. that is just horrible.. can you just not tell them that you are taking anything.. they don't need to know *hugs*

Trish36 · #4 June 6th, 2009, 09:55 AM

I'm sorry your in-laws are doing this to you. I would not tell them a thing about what you are doing. I don't want to get into a debate about what everyone believes in, but I have stopped believing in God a long time ago. Why on earth would there be so many children being abused or killed by psychos or even their own parents. Does that mean that God wanted them to suffer??? And just like Heather said, if they get sick will they refulse treatment because God wanted them to die at that specific time. Grrr...whatever. Don't let them get to you hun! HUGS!!!! Just tell them to 'talk to your hand' and don't disclose any info to them.

Kary♥RN · #5 June 6th, 2009, 10:06 AM

I have to say I have many of the same beliefs of Trish.... I am sorry you have to deal with this.. ontop of a loss... THIS??? YOU do what is right for you. I believe everyone can have thier own believe system... just dont throw yours on me.. and I won't throw mine at you. I know people are pansionate about things. But people have to reilize we are here.... in the position we are in, and us, and only us, have to live each day in our shoes... feel the way we feel, and make the desicions that we make and have to live with. I agree I wouldn't tell them anything. And when you do get pregnant again and are holding that baby.... Make sure you say it was Gods will.... I am kinda getting the feeling they might have issues with a baby concieved on aspirin..... Good Luck... HUGS HUGS HUGS

KDD · #6 June 6th, 2009, 11:11 AM

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I think that society as a whole still has issues in seeing fertility problems as a legitimate medical condition! I think if my ILs were like that I would do what I could to never see them again!

.:Shortcake:. · #7 June 6th, 2009, 01:30 PM

I totally disagree with them! Why would there be some women out there that drink & smoke during their and not even want the baby able to have them then? Does God want these poor kids lives to be hell? When there are some of us that would kill to have them and take care of them.

~Lynda~ · #8 June 6th, 2009, 01:52 PM

don't they believe that God is a good God? cause it doesn't sound like it. it sounds like they think God is cruel. boy i'm sorry you have to deal with people like that. I'd tell the NOTHING!!! and i'd enjoy doing it!!! HUGS to you!!!

PixieQueen · #9 June 6th, 2009, 03:07 PM

Well, I just would avoid them as much as possible. They sound rather toxic, and sadly, there isn't anything you can say or do to change their minds. But

you could ask them if man is more powerful than God. When they tell you no, ask how it is that God cannot overcome medical help if he really doesn't want people who need it to have children. Sorry, I can't stand people like that and I like to pick on them.

..Penelope.. · #10 June 6th, 2009, 04:54 PM

I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, hon. Frankly, they should keep their opinions to themselves, and it's NONE of their business what you do! I hope that you're able to interact with them very rarely. And thank God that your DH turned out well despite the challenges he must have faced growing up!

rebeccabaltimore and more · #11 June 6th, 2009, 05:55 PM

I'm so sorry. I've dealt with crazy people but they were never my in-laws. I would probably give them a piece of my mind, but then again when my son died I lost the ability to stick a cork in it and be nice.

Good luck and

photogmama · #12 June 6th, 2009, 06:17 PM

How insensitive and rude! I can't imagine having to deal with that in my own family. I hope you don't have to have contact with them too often.

starrsgirl · #13 June 6th, 2009, 09:23 PM

That sucks that it's your in-laws...that makes it tough for you to get away. Honestly, I would just keep what you are doing private from them. Just let them think that the next time you have a full term pregnancy that it was God's will (and they won't know about the aspirin, clomid, or whatever else). Honestly, you will probably never "win" the argument with them. And, you want your future child to have a good relationship with them...not have the inlaws judge the kid every day of his/her life.

I'm not religious at all...but I do believe that when gifted people choose to use their gifts in medical science, good stuff comes out of it. I think the knowledge and advances that allow for so many women to be able to conceive is miraculous. Period.

missy123 · #14 June 6th, 2009, 09:50 PM

They said it all above. I just wanted to say I am sorry you had to listen to that.

mum74 · #15 June 7th, 2009, 04:33 AM

Ditto to what someone else said - they sound toxic. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

..Jessica.. · #16 June 7th, 2009, 08:46 PM

Um yeah..okay.

Your in-laws are crazy, and the girls pretty much said it when they said to keep everything you're doing a secret. I personally would have told them where to go and how to get there rather quickly.