she was a girl....

SailorsWife · #1 July 12th, 2009, 07:54 PM

we got the results back from the chromosome analysis we had done on the baby. I was going to have a little girl. I don't know what to think. They couldn't find anything wrong with her. All of my tests came back normal, they can't find anything physically wrong with me that could be causing the miscarriages, and now they couldn't find anything wrong with her either. So what does that mean??? I'm so confused. God it's hard knowing. I needed to know what she was for some closure but now it kills me to see little girls running around and wondering why me? why did it have to happen to me? I keep saying it over and over and over in my head. She was a girl. I had a daughter. God that's unbelievable to me. Sorry ladies, I just needed to talk it all out. Even if I'm just rambling and not really making sense. I can't talk to the hubby about it because he wants me to just 'let it go' but I can't I just can't. I needed to get it all out somewhere and this is the only place i knew I would be understood and accepted and no one would tell me to 'get over it already'.

JessP · #2 July 12th, 2009, 09:16 PM

I wanted to know what we had too. I asked but they did not know. I didn't know why I wanted to know I just did. It is ok to not "get over it". DH said that to me once and I burst into tears, needless to say he hasn't said it again. He just doesn't understand. I hope it gets better for you soon but everyone here and I am sure in the pregnancy loss forum are a great source of comfort and support.

aaclzamora · #3 July 12th, 2009, 09:20 PM

*HUGS* I'm sorry for your loss, honey. I know it is very hard. When I had my miscarriage, my mother told me that you never really just "get over it". The pain dulls, but you always remember. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. All of us know how you feel. *HUGS*

~~~Sara~~~ · #4 July 12th, 2009, 10:03 PM

I am so sorry, it does help to know I think, but at the same time, yes it's hard to not have a reason, I understand that too.

Just talk it out and know that you are surrounded by people who DO understand here.

I am so sorry you lost your little girl.

alicenwonderland · #5 July 12th, 2009, 10:46 PM

*hugs* ramble all you want. I think we've all done our share. What a powerful thing just knowing your baby's sex. I'm glad they were able to find out for you. Maybe you can come up with a unique way of making sure your daugher is remembered.

farasha · #6 July 13th, 2009, 05:32 AM

Hugs hun. I know how you feel. Finding out that our second was a chromosomally normal boy crushed me all over again. I too had those images of him doing all the things we would have taught him... it was really hard. But as hard as it is, I'm glad I found out. After never finding out what the first baby was, it definitely gave me a bit of closure to know I had a son, even if it hurt so much at the same time. It still hurts when I see baby boys. Please keep talking it out if you need to. We are here for you. We get it.

.:Shortcake:. · #7 July 13th, 2009, 07:03 AM

Hugs hun. I am so sorry for your loss. My first m/c they told me it was a boy and that he was perfectly normal. And it is still hard for me to hear that. But someone very wise told me that I shouldn't look at it like they would have been fine so why aren't they here we should look at it like they were 100% perfect and didn't need to come here because they already knew everything they needed too. Hugs hun.

Sue46 · #8 July 13th, 2009, 08:19 AM

My baby was a girl too. You know what gave me some closure, was naming her. I could have sworn my baby was a boy and the day they told me it was a girl the pain came flooding back and a new feeling emerged. I never knew how badly I wanted a baby girl until I couldn't have her any more. It opened a whole new sort of pain for me. I don't know what it was about giving her a name but it helped tremedously.

I am very sorry for your loss. I don't think the pain ever does goes away either.

raeleyfan · #9 July 13th, 2009, 08:25 AM

I too also just found out that we were having another little girl. I didnt think it would impact me as much as it has, but knowing that it was another princess, has been sooo hard for me. I look at my three year old daughter and think of how it would have been for her to have a little sis to share so much with....

Hang in there and keep being true to yourself and remember that it is ok to feel the way you do, and others are experiencing the same sort of grief. For me, there is immense comfort in knowing there are women that understand me. I am so sorry for your and everyone's loss and I appreciate having a place to share my feelings.

#10 July 13th, 2009, 09:46 AM

I am so sorry.

momof6lopez · #11 July 13th, 2009, 12:19 PM

I too found out last month that she was a girl. I had sworn it was a boy, so when the results said girl, I felt even more crushed. I have grieved for a son and just when things were getting a little easier, I find out Im grieving all over again for a little girl. I did name her and it gave me some closure. I hope you will find some too.

Kary♥RN · #12 July 13th, 2009, 12:38 PM

I also HAD to know what I would have had. My dh didn't want to know. So I work at the hospital that I had my d/e done at and looked it up. When I saw the xx I was devestated.. I sat thier not being able to breath for a moment... I lost a little girl... the little girl that my dh and I wanted so badly. I had to name her. I gave my little girl the name, Hope. By naming her it made real.. but I felt closer to her. I will never know what my first was. I have a feeling it was a boy. But I didn't name that Angel.. It will always be just my Angel. I am not sure if it was better to know or not... I just knew I had to know. When I see other women.. (like my SIL, carrying a little girl) it kills me inside.

Rant and vent, we are here for you... and we know how you are feeling HUGS