Just lost my first - question about ttc again

krystal g · #1 July 13th, 2009, 01:40 PM

I just miscarried (with d&c) my first on the July 10 - I was almost 12 weeks. I know it's only been a few days, and the hurt is still so raw, but I'm trying to look to the future. My DH has been wonderful, but he doesn't really know how it feels - he is grieving the loss of what could have been and I'm grieving my baby. He's hurt too, but is being very optimistic about ttc again. I guess that does help though....

I got pregnant after only 3 months of trying, and having been on birth control for 15+ years, I guess we were blessed. I have always been very regular (28-30 days) and charted my temp and used opk and it worked wonderfully. I plan on doing that again and I know it's too early just yet, but I'm wondering what others' experiences have been ttc after a loss. I know several people that claim they started ovulating again 15-20 days after their miscarriage. I just don't want to get my hopes up too soon.

I can't seem to think about anything else but our baby and at the same time, I just want to move forward and focus on trying again. But everytime I look down and see my belly - my baby bump that was already so big that I have to wear maternity pants, I just lose it. I don't know how to balance this grief (that I know is perfectly natural and deserved) with this overwhelming desire to start over and move on.

Kary♥RN · #2 July 13th, 2009, 01:56 PM

Krystal.. I am so sorry for your loss... Your story sounds veryy simular to mine. I was on B/c for 17+ years. I stoped in July and was pregnant in 4 months. I lost that pregnancy very early.. I was pregnant again with in 2 months.. I lost that pregnancy at 7 1/2 weeks. My cycles have always been 28 days..

What you are feeling is normal..The ladies here are great and an awsome support system. And yes some people go right back to Ovulating and become pregnant right away. I am on my 5 cycle.. 6 months after my last lost.. and still no luck. I hope you stay here short and you get your BFP soon... GOOD LUCK!

momof6lopez · #3 July 13th, 2009, 02:07 PM

Iam so sorry for this to happen to you. Your feelings are very much validated. Please give yourself time to grieve this baby before you move on to the next. It can be very difficult to accept a new pregnancy when your body and mind are not healed from this kind of loss. Once your body is ready you can ovulate anywhere for 2-6wks after a d&c, just depends on how fast your body gets down to 0 with the hcg.

I wish you the best at when you do decide to conceive again. We have a wonderful board here at the Pregnancy Loss board if you wish to share your feelings and vent.

jaypbee · #4 July 13th, 2009, 03:01 PM

i'm sorry for your loss. i had a d & c at 8w4d and af showed up just shy of 5 weeks after the procedure. i didn't temp daily that cycle, but temped enough to know i did have a temp shift. i'm now on cd 12, waiting to o. have no idea what this cycle will be like.

good luck, and i hope you get your bfp very quickly!

..Penelope.. · #5 July 13th, 2009, 03:16 PM

Welcome, Krystal. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I felt that overwhelming need to try again after we lost Autumn, even though she was a surprise. And not trying again immediately felt like it was preventing me from healing properly. But looking back, I'm glad that I had time to grieve and get back to a stable place, mentally and emotionally.

Please give yourself all the time you need. We're here for you.

farasha · #6 July 13th, 2009, 05:24 PM

Hi Hun
I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry to have to welcome you here. That said, I know you will find as much support as you need. We all understand what you are going through. Please take time for yourself to heal and vent whenever you need too!
If you're ready to ttc again, great! If not, that's Ok too. Everyone's body is different after a loss. Personally, I ovulated 5 weeks after both of my D&C's. My cycle following my second loss is not normal whatsover. But, I know many women have very regular cycles.

I hope that for you, this journey to your next BFP is short. Good luck!

Loving6 · #7 July 13th, 2009, 06:17 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.I am still waiting for AF since my d&c May 12th.I hope your heart heals and you can go on to have a beautiful baby.

AngelBabies · #8 July 13th, 2009, 06:32 PM

krystal..... it all has to be done at your pace at your time..... everything.... the greiving through to when to ttc again..... be true to yourself and do it in your time.

As for myself and when did I ovulate after losing the twins........to be completly honest I started ttc straight away... BUT.... knew nothing about cycles. So even though hubby and I started doing the deed pretty quickly after my m/c (few weeks) at the time I knew nothing about charting or opks or temps.... anything. So unfortuantly I cant actually answer your question.

Welcome hun...... sorry you are here but welcome.

Sue46 · #9 July 13th, 2009, 07:59 PM

I'm sorry you've had to join us over here. After my first loss at 17 weeks I got my first AF 34 days later, I am unsure if I ovulated or not since we didn't try until the next month. I ovulated just about normal the next two cycles and got our BFP our 3rd cycle. That pregnancy was sadly lost as well at 5 weeks. Since I've had 2 back to back m/c my urgency in TTC has left me.

I hope your jump back into the saddle is short and you get your sticky BFP soon!

.:Shortcake:. · #10 July 14th, 2009, 04:37 AM

Welcome. I am very sorry for your loss. As for when you ovulate after a D&C I actually didn't. I had to go on meds to get AF and then my cycles have been crazy since then.