[Kary♥RN]

This is my first EDD... for my first loss. I am working in the hospital... I should be, two floors down in Labor... and I'm not. I'm not pregnant, I don't have life growing inside of me... I'm empty. I'm lost feeling, I'm bitter for the ones around me carring thier miracles inside of them. I feel like a failure that I can not concieve and carry a child for my dh. I am sad. When will it be my turn?

[AngelBabies]

ohhhhhhh KaryRn........ just sending out the biggest of biggest hugs to you hun. The only thing I can think of is when your finished work (or sooner if you can get off)...... go home soak in a bath full of smelly stuff (pretty smelly stuff)....... and just have a full on ugly cry.... take as long as you want..... lock the door so no one comes in

EDD s just suck hun... there is no other way to put it. My second aniversary EDD is in about 2 weeks and I say about because it was twins and I was told from the begining I wouldnt be holding them the whole 40 weeks...... I ll let you know if it gets any easier at all in the second year.

Massive hugs hun



.

[starrsgirl]

Kary! I'm so sorry you are struggling with this day and have to be at work. I'm thinking of you. It's such a strange feeling to know that you could have been on a different path in life today. Stay strong for me. This day will pass and your day will come. Life has a funny way of working out. Stay tough and catch that eggie this cycle!

[.:Shortcake:.]

First off hugs hun! Secondly I am so sorry. I just had my first EDD in June and it sucked. I agree with Angels cry hun let it out because keeping it in is not going to help. I wish I was there to give you a super big hug!

[AngelBabies]

Kary.... just poping back in to see how your going tonight......

[mlyster]

Kary - HUGS!! You will get through this day! Take time to remember all you have been through, cry if you need to and then hold your head up high and remember that you are a strong successful woman and you will be successful at TTCAL too.

We are here for you.

[farasha]

HUGS Kary!!!! My first EDD was 4 days ago. It's still very raw. The day was almost OK only because I kept myself so crazy-busy that I didn't have time to think about it until that night. It must be harder for you to be in the hospital. I'm thinking of you, and truly hoping your turn is just around the corner.

[Frangipani]

Hi Kary, I am really sorry for your loss and for you having to go through this. I know how you feel. I work in the hospital as well and it is so hard to see all those babies, bellies, and so on. I really have a hard time with the women who don't even want their babies or who are mad they are pregnant, kwim?

I hope today passes quickly for you.

[JessP]

Lots of hugs and support. I have to also agree that you should spoil yourself a little today and be selfish. I hope today goes quickly for you. So sorry you are having to go through this.

[Del4]

(((hugs))) It's really hard. Take all the time you need.

[Magicaledelishus]

I'm sorry This must be so difficult for you being surrounded by it. I hope you take care of yourself today

[BigGrin]

I so wish you were in L&D or holding your precious baby in your arms. It really sucks because most people don't understand and think you are "over it" by now. When the truth is, you never get "over it," you just learn to cope better. Sending you lots of hugs and comfort, you are not a failure, you are a wonderful person who spends her time helping to heal others. I can't think of a more deserving person to be a parent than one who serves their fellow man as you do.

[Kary♥RN]

Thanks guys... This just feels like the longest day... since I work night shift... I worked all night when midnight struck... I just looked at the clock... and I thought, wow... this is what it feels like... than I got busy.... came home at 730 am went to sleep woke up at 130... and guess what it is still the 14th... uggg I have only teared up a few times... Writing to Rebeccabaltimore was hard.. it is her due date also... It is nice to know I have all of you to lean on... I haven't told dh what today is.. But I think I am going to make him take me out for dinner.. I don't want to cook. And than have some wine.... or maybe a lot of wine... HUGS to all thanks for being here for me... XOXOXOXO

[L-SBB]

oh Kary, honey, i'm so sorry...EDDs are tough and having to work around a lot of pregnant women makes them so much tougher! Feel free to use today to wallow, throw yourself a pity party (i'll bring cake!) whatever you need to do to help you get through the day - you deserve it and you have every right to feel cheated, cause you absolutely were!

But tomorrow i want you to try to focus on the positive - it WILL be your turn, and hopefully really, really soon. I truly believe that I appreciate my current pregnancy more for having gone through my loss...and you will be a wondeful mother someday, and I can't wait to celebrate that with you!

[photogmama]

I'm so sorry! (why is it that I feel that is the only statement I am typing today????). Hoping that this is your cycle and you get your BFP soon!!! I vote for Sangria over wine!

[Boble]

sending you lots of love and hugs... edd's are soooo hard!

[alicenwonderland]

*hugs* i'm sorry. Must have been a very hard day. I hope you and your DH found something nice to do with your evening. more *hugs*

[Cherished1]

KaryRN it is the day none of us want to face let alone without being in a healthy pregnancy. I feel so sad for you and I am happy that you have the girls on here to lean on for support. Be kind to yourself, our time will come xoxoxo

[Trish36]

Sending you lots of hugs!!

I'm not going to lie it totally sucks as you all know from my post a couple of weeks ago. The first anniversary for each step are the hardest. It will get better, it will be your turn soon even if it doesn't feel like it yet. Stay strong, and throw yourself a pity party like I did. I had my girlfriends over, had a couple of drinks and ate cake and ice cream, they all knew that it was my 1 year mark and loved cheering me up for the day.