Venting.. Pity Party for me... Anyone need to Join?

Kary♥RN · #1 July 19th, 2009, 01:03 PM

I am just walking back in the door from my SIL baby's shower. OH were do I begin. This is a shower she planned and knew about. The invitation said 2. I go about 130 to spend time before everyone gets thier. My SIL is not thier, she is getting her nails done. Just walking in seeing the baby stuff killed me. All little girl, pink things.. I should be sharing in the excitement with my own little girl due in two months yesterday... (Well we all know that wont be the case.) Plus with having my first EDD (from my first loss ) just passing this past Tues. My heart is breaking just being thier.. Everyone was given a little necklace with "it's a girl" (thank goodness I wasn't offered one). As I sit thier one by one I start hearing conversations.. about who is pregnant around me. Finally my SIL shows up 45 mins after the time on the invite. I knew I couldn't stay long. Hence the reason I tried to get thier early. But showing up for your own shower the shower that YOU planned, YOU designed the invites, YOUR house, 45 mins late??? WTH??? I left only after about 10 mins after my SIL showed up, I come home... sad and empty.. I stand infront of the mirror... and look at a flat belly (well should I say not so flat, but one without a baby) Knowing that the huge belly she has, I should have too... or close to it.. since she is due Aug 27th and I would have been due around Sept 18th. And cry and cry. I hate this week... I want it over! I need to wallow in my self pitty. I wish I didn't even go. But I wasn't told it would be ok if you didn't come. So I had to make an apperance and show (my not so happy face). I just wish people would understand how hurt, and hard it was to even walk past that pile of pink presents....

MrsB1227 · #2 July 19th, 2009, 01:08 PM

i'm so sorry, you were brave and selfless to go to the shower and share in her joy, but unfortunately it is never easy. i just hope we all get our bfp's and sticky beans very very soon!!!!

mrsissa · #3 July 19th, 2009, 01:29 PM

I'm so sorry. That must have been very hard. I feel for you. I have a pregnant sister that is due in October and moving away before then. Part of me is glad cause it's so hard to even so her and I can't even imagine having to go to a shower let alone plan one. Don't lose hope...happier times for us are ahead.

farasha · #4 July 19th, 2009, 01:47 PM

Kary I'm so so so sorry. Lots of hugs hun. I can totally see what a horrible day today was and I completely feel your pain. If it wasn't bad enough to have to go to the shower in the first place... I really really hope things start going better for you and all of us very soon. I hope you're able to find something to do tonight to make yourself feel a little better. Thinking of you.

alicenwonderland · #5 July 19th, 2009, 02:01 PM

I'm sorry. It's all so hard. A week after my loss, my sister had her baby. It's hard to pretent that you're happy. Another slap in the face is that she started TTC that baby long after DH and I had been TCC.

PixieQueen · #6 July 19th, 2009, 02:16 PM

Big hugs Kary! I was invited to a shower about a month after I lost mine. She wasn't family though, so I was able to decline. I'm sorry you weren't able to do that.

I think what upsets me most is that no one would expect someone who's child had just gotten hit by a car or something to show up at a birthday party. For some reason people don't think it's the same, AND IT IS! And your SIL complaining and being so rude as to not even show up on time. Pregnant or not, I think I would have decked her. You are a strong woman!

#7 July 19th, 2009, 02:40 PM

Kary,

I just want to say I am in awe of you right now! You are so strong and a wonderful SIL/friend to go to the baby shower.
I understand how you feel - thank goodness I don't have any baby showers coming up, but I do have a friend who is due to have a baby next week & I am nearly hyperventilating thinking about it...... Hugs hun - we understand completely what you are feeling right now. xx

.:Shortcake:. · #8 July 19th, 2009, 02:54 PM

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that hun. Hugs!

KDD · #9 July 19th, 2009, 02:56 PM

I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. I don't know if I could handle a baby shower yet and my loss was well over a year ago! And your SIL was extremely inconsiderate to be late. I would have been super p*ssed to be sitting there waiting for her to show up to her own house.

Trish36 · #10 July 19th, 2009, 04:27 PM

Oh Kary...sending you lots of HUGS!!!! This just totally sucks! I wish your family was more understanding and you didn't have to show up. I hope tomorrow is better.

~~~Sara~~~ · #11 July 19th, 2009, 04:57 PM

Well it it makes you feel any better just reading your post made me cry. We lost our little girl in May and no I am not anywhere near over it.

My pity party just includes that my body is completely off track and I have no idea what to do with no cycle for 2 months, and our lives are a bit in limbo with wanting to move 3 hours away, so we aren't SURE we want to TTC, yet I feel being pregnant will help me somehow.

starrsgirl · #12 July 19th, 2009, 05:23 PM

I'm so sorry you had to endure this fiasco. That is soooo tough. I have NEVER EVER been invited to more baby showers than I have since my loss. It's like people somehow know that we are TTC and feel the need to share their own joy...and forget about our losses. It makes me want to scream. I'm glad you got through this and it's over...hang in there, we are here for you.

megal40 · #13 July 19th, 2009, 05:39 PM

Oh Kary, Offering you my hugs. Here is hoping tomorrow is a better day. Hang in there!

Boble · #14 July 19th, 2009, 05:42 PM

what a horrible day for you *hugs*

Frangipani · #15 July 19th, 2009, 07:49 PM

aww Kary I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I can't imagine how you did it. You're an amazing, strong woman.

JessP · #16 July 19th, 2009, 07:50 PM

So sorry it was such a rough day. I hope you are able to take a hot bubble bath and relax. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

#17 July 19th, 2009, 08:14 PM

Big Hugs!!!!!!!!

I felt the same way today, my SIL had my nephews baptism. There was 4 families there with the new babies for the service and it turns out I went to grade school and high school with all of them. While I was holding my nephew before the mass started one of the guys I went to high school with came over and gave me congrats on having a baby. Totally killed me inside when I had to say it's my nephew and not mine.

charm · #18 July 20th, 2009, 01:25 AM

Kary you are a very amazing strong woman to attend even though it's your SIL. How selfish getting her nails done!! My oh my some ppl hun saeriously.Take care I really hope you get your bfp very very soon

.
Yesturday I had my bad day also but I wont go there some ppl are just so bloody selfish..

Mel1979 · #19 July 20th, 2009, 05:08 AM

Count me in to join the party! Big

. I can't believe your SIL could be so rude and insensitive. You did such a great job just to be there in the first place. After way too many meltdowns because of the same type of situation I have decided I am going to be selfish and not force myself to try to be strong and go to things that will upset and devastate me. It's all about self preservation!

Look after yourself and I hope your BFP is just around the corner

sportsmom2 · #20 July 20th, 2009, 01:13 PM

I hate that for you... I can totally relate as far as insensitive family members. One day, I might share my story. It's amazing that I haven't killed my M-I-L. The best advice I could give is pray about finding some way to get past the pain enough to enjoy your niece when she arrives. Babies are truly blessings and those who have never suffered a loss cannot relate to what you feel inside.

Hope you feel better today!