[starrsgirl]

I feel so down today. I'm out for this cycle and next! AF showed up today on day 32. And, next month, I have to go away to school for a week to finish my master's right during the time that DH and I should be together, if you know what I mean. (I can't move the school and DH can't come...already tried...haha) Joy.

I'm not an especially patient person and TTCAL has been so difficult to me. I just feel so down after every BFN cycle. I know that compared to many of you out there, I haven't been trying for very long. How do you stay sane? How do you stay positive every cycle? I feel so sad when I think about how long it can take to get pregnant, and then if you end up losing that baby, that's another potentially 5 months lost or so. Although we haven't been trying every month of the last 2 years, TTC and then dealing with the losses has definitely eaten up a lot of that time...so sad.

In better news...I got a referral to see a specialist. I will call tomorrow and hopefully get in soon. I will keep you all posted.

[mlyster]

Liz I know what you mean! We have been "trying" since December 08 but we have been pg twice... with both ending in losses... feels like such a waste of 7-8 months. However, I have learned more about myself in these past 7-8 months than I ever would have without going through them. And we want a child more than ever before so I feel like we will be that much more prepared and that much more greatful for every single moment of the pregnancy and child's life. that is what i tell myself to get through the hard times.

[MrsB1227]

while i haven't been TTCAL for very long, it is still hard and honestly the thing that keeps me going is knowing that once it does happen, all the heartache of TTC will be a distant memory and will have been totally worth it.

[Penguin115]

this is probably not what you want to hear but I honestly don't know how I do it. Everyday seems like an eternity but I don't get up hope, we have been ttc almost a year and had 1 m/c in Jan. I am even on my 2nd round of clomid and 7dpo, but I am assuming it will be another bfn cycle. I guess the each step of the way the thought of the next step keeps me going and hopefully one day will will have a baby. good luck

[missy123]

I completely understand how you feel. When I went to Alaska for work I was in the same situation and we were out for a month. It has been a long road for us too. I just try to take one day at a time and some of them I cry and some of them I am happy.

[farasha]

I'm sorry hun. I know exactly how you feel. This isn't going to sound like good advice, but I don't really have any... the only reason I keep going is because I have to. There's really no other choice... It makes me very depressed and frustrated on a daily basis too.

But I'm glad you get to go to a specialist. KUP on what they say!

[..Penelope..]

I don't have any advice, but I wanted to give you big

[JessP]

I am so glad you are getting that referral to a specialist. I hope they give you some hope and answers. DH and I have not yet started the TTCAL journey because of some other stuff so I don't have lots of advice. I do have lots of hugs and support and you can cry to me anytime . I hope you get that bfp soon and all the TTC will be so worth it. I know that when we do ttc and hopefully get a bfp I will cherish each moment so much more. And find joy in my kankles, and my mexican food cravings, and the midnight pee sessions, and the kicks that wake you up . All the things I complained about my first pregnancies or others complain about I will relish. Because I will know what a long road I took to get there. So I guess I start with the end in mind and focus on that.
Just knowing that when I hold that baby I will bawl my eyes out with joy, and what a true miracle they are. Before my loss I had no idea. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, so I have to believe for me that there was a reason I lost baby poff in Feb.
Ok enough ramble, I don't even know if this helps. I hope in some way it does.

[hoping4baby]

I totally understand how you feel. Big hugs...

[Boble]

*hugs* Liz... i hear ya hun.. i hear ya!

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs hun! It does truly suck! And I just keep trying... its not easy though.

[AngelBabies]

Nothing I can say that will make it happen faster...... probably the only thing I can add is that I made it a bit easier for myself by not making it everything (if that makes sense) I mean obviously the end result means everything to me, its just that when I thought about it day in day out it really started to eat away at me. I ve been doing this for about 6 years (we cant remember exactly when we started) During that 6 ish years we have done IVF, IUI, Clomid and of course natural. I would be bonkers by now if i didnt put some sort of mental boundaries in place. I mean it doesnt stop me doin g and trying everything possible...... but especially all these 2ww..... (im in one at the moment) .....if i let my head get carried away with every possible symptom..... goodness... you would have to lock me up,I would have lost it by now.

So I suppose what I m saying.... is that its a mental challange as well....... good luck hun.... for every cr@ppy day you are closer to a good day

[KDD]

I now it's tough Liz. We're coming up on 3 years since we first tossed the b/c and still no baby! I don't really know what keeps me going. I'm really stubborn though and I hate failing.

[starrsgirl]

Originally Posted by KDD

I'm really stubborn though and I hate failing.

Isn't that just the truth? I feel like my coworkers probably view me as this very successful person...but the truth is, that I feel like a failure sometimes at the one thing I want/care about. I would give the other stuff up in a heartbeat if you know what I mean.

[Mel1979]

I know just how you feel, AF arrived for me yesterday. I am grateful my cycles have returned to normal straightaway but all we have been ttc for 2 years next month with 2 losses. It really isn't fair I am not a patient person either and hate not having any control!!

I truly hope our sticky BFP's are just around the corner.

[Kary♥RN]

HUGS Liz... I know we have only been trying for a year... but If I knew it would of been this hard to get and stay pregnant... We would not of waited so long.. and we probalbly would of started at least 9 months earlier.. I just thought I would get pregnant right away. I went off my pills last may-june.. and started in July.. I was like I will have an April.. maybe a may baby.. and here it is a year later.. all I have is two losses. I get by... by taking it one cycle at a time. 2wks at a time.. And try to say.. If it is ment, it will be. I get down when AF shows.. than about 2-3 days into her.. I start to get back on the ttc horse.. and start the count down.. thats why I think I start POAS.. OPK at C7.. to make myslef feel in control.. since I seem to control anything else...

HUGS Liz

[onelove1109]

I am right there with you hun..but aren't we all..I get so down sometimes because I will never understand why us..? Why is it always the couples who want it the most and deserve it the most? People always say "everything happens for a reason"..I don't understand what the reason could be?... We would give anything for a chance to have what some people could care less about.

A girl that works in the office has a cousin that has 4 kids..3 different dads..gets money from government..doesn't work..obviously doesn't care about her kids. She made a joke the other day "Maybe I'll have a couple more kids...the more I make the more money they give me." I couldn't believe it.

...doesnt it seem like it always works out that way?? Its horrible.

anyways HUGS TO ALL!! Hopefully our time will come soon
my t&p are with you all.

I understand your frustration. I thought TTC was going to be this fun, exciting, and a quick time in my life. It seems to be the total opposite. It's hard to keep your hopes up, but it will happen just hopefully sooner than later for all of us.

Oh baby making gods, we need some divine intervention for lots of April/May babies here.

[Magicaledelishus]

You're so right.. It's so hard. But I think it makes us all so much stronger and well.. that's a great lesson to learn, even though each time is terribly, terribly sad.
I don't know why the good people get **** all over.. I really don't.. But there has to be a reason.. I don't know why all you lovely ladies are having such trouble.. *hugs*