[krystal g]

Last night my DH and I went to dinner at our friends' house. There was another couple there whom we'd never met. And this woman was pregnant. 6 months pregnant. With twins! And I instantly hated her!!! I hated her big belly. And her husband leaning over and lovingly kissing it. And her little jokes about how she was so big that she couldn't reach the table. And how they may not have any more kids after this because two at one time is enough. And I hated my friend (who has had 2 miscarriages herself!) because she invited me over to suffer through that. So after dinner, I couldn't leave quickly enough. I told my friend that I had important things to do at home....wash my hair? sort my socks? Who cares...I had to get out of there.

So my friend and her husband walked us outside and as the men talked about man stuff, my friend told me that her friend inside was having a rough time, that she may lose her twins. She's 22 weeks, dilated, contracting and they've already drained fluid off of one of the babies. And the doctors can't do any more until she is 24 weeks, if she makes it that far. And I almost fell apart right there. I cried in the car and then I cried, no, I bawled, when I got home. All of the emotions I was feeling all evening...everything came out. I can't believe how selfish I was all through dinner, thinking only about myself and my problems. I'm crying as I type this...and I think it's mostly for her. For that total stranger who may lose both of her babies.

I just thought I'd share this with you ladies. I know everyone here can understand and maybe thoughts and prayers and lots of sticky bean dust to her can help.

[Boble]

*hugs* hun,... you weren't to know and it is really hard sometimes seeing preg people and sometimes we can forget that there could be something going on with them.

I hope that it all ends up ok.. must be heartbreaking for them *hugs*

[mlyster]

OMG I can not imagine sitting through a dinner like that... and then finding out afterwards the awful situation the woman is going through. What an emotional roller coaster! I hope you are doing ok and not feeling too guilty. You didn't know what she was going through and I think you did very well to be there and stay polite through it all.

[Celena]

Oh man Krystal... You're not a bad person at all, those are your emotions coming thru not how you really feel. You're not evil or horrible, so don't even think that! How are we to know what's going on in someone's life unless we walk in their shoes... a smiling clown can very easily be frowning on the inside, kwim?

I see pregnant ladies and have a hard time looking at them... yes I selfishly wish it were me and the flood of emotions about my loss come rushing in like flash flood waters.

I will say a prayer for the lady and her twins!! God bless her for holding it together as she has, I hope that there is something they can do to keep those babies in there at least 8 to 10 more weeks!!!

[jen805]

It's only natural to feel those emotions--don't be too hard on yourself! I know I've grumbled at lot's of pg women, and it wasn't until a friend of mine posted something about the fact that we don't know each person's story... and how easy it is to assume things.... it's really true! However, anytime I see pg women smoking or doing something unsafe--well, that's completely different!


I'm sending lots of thoughts and prayers--and bucket loads of stickyvibes for her!!!

Chin up, hon... you're not a monster... you're not evil... you're just heartbroken--we've all been there!

[..Penelope..]

Oh honey, I can't even imagine having to sit through a dinner like that and then learn such devastating news. As a pp said, that wasn't you talking - it was your emotions. Please don't beat yourself up for it.

You and your DH are in my T&P, and so is the couple and their babies. I'm sending all the sticky vibes to her that I can spare, and huge to you.

[JMbreaksthelaw]

Hearing stuff like this really makes me step back and look at all the wonderful things I have been blessed with. As bad as we think that our problems are there are people out there that have suffered so much more.

[~InHisHands~]

I agree... your emotions are completely normal. It might have been better though if your friend would have warned you & told you the story before hand. That's so sad!

[mum74]

That would have been such an emotional evening for you - feeling like a pregnancy was being rubbed in your face. I'm so glad you told the story though because it is such a good reminder that other people are going through stuff too. She was obviously putting on a brave face too. I do try to do that when I see pregnant women - you never know what they have gone through to get pregnant etc...not their fault that something bad happened to ME. Doesn't always work but thanks again and for you and this lady carrying twins.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Oh hugs hun. Sending her loads of sticky vibes and your not a bad person we have all been there.

[Mel1979]

Try not to feel bad, what you felt was completely normal and you weren't to know her situation. We have all been there, feeling insanely jealous of pg women. The point is you are now very upset for her and asking all of us to send her stickyvibes ad prayers, that just proves you are a good person!

I hope it all works out for her and for you to

[Kary♥RN]

What you felt through dinner is what I felt for you reading the first part of your post. I had to sit through dinner with, my dh's best friend and his wife (who had her baby on my 1st loss EDD). And I felt the same thing with all of her and his comments (and THEY KNEW I have m/c not once, but twice). When than you finished your post like you did... I did have sympathy for her. I cried for her alos, But remember nothing that I felt, or you felt put her at risk. Not that I don't feel bad for what she might have to go through... Since I know, as do you.... We have lost a baby, some of us here twice, and more. What I am saying.. you can feel envious, and bad for her. And don't think you are a bad person. We all have feelings and some days they are worse than others... HUGS I'm sorry you had to feel that way, and than question your feelings.. And my thoughts and prayers are with her and twins.. No one should have to go through what we have been through.... HUGS

what is you felt is what we all feel at some point or another. I hope things work out for her, I started to well up when I read the rest, you never know someones journey to have a baby. I wish someone had told me years ago that it may not be happy happy joy joy all the time on the road of TTC.