[charlierays]

So I was emailing a friend last week and doing the usual "so hows things" and "whats new" pleasantries. She has a daughter born a few months after my son...preggo with no problems of course....and she knows all the details of my saga. So anyway, we emailed back and forth a few times and then that was it...a day passed and I get this from her:

"Okay, so there is one new thing over here… went to the doc last night….I am 8 weeks. Pretty exciting. If all goes well we are looking at 3/30. We did not think it would happen so fast, but we'll take it! =) "

Do you ever feel like reaching through an email and choking someone? I was in a bad place to begin with and reading this put me even lower. I never replied back because I feel like the "congrats" just won't come out right. It may translate into..."whoop-di-do for you, you insensitive dumb-$#%&"

Am I overreacting? I guess I should be nice and write back but i don't know what to say.

And AF arrived today...yet another failed-cycle-notch on my belt....Lord help me!

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs hun. I am so sorry I know it is difficult. Especially with the situation your in. If your worried your going to say the wrong thing I would not reply.

[momof6lopez]

give it a few days before responding. I find that works best. Im so sorry for you to feel so down, I know how that feels. My best congrats come during the week of ovulation, thats when my spirits are lifted.

[Kary♥RN]

Lori... how funny.... I was going to say wait till after you O'... that is when I am in my best mood... ..

I know this is hard to face, we all have days we want to choke someone... But I guess knowing our limits with our own feelings is half the battle.. the other have is having people stay the H-ll out of our way. HUGS,.... your time will come..

[charlierays]

Originally Posted by Kary♥RN

... But I guess knowing our limits with our own feelings is half the battle.. the other have is having people stay the H-ll out of our way.

I love that...would you mind if i quote this on my facebook status

[Trish36]

Lori I'm sorry! And especially sorry that AF arrived...what a witch!
I would say wait a few days before responding for sure. It doesn't sound like your friend was rubbing it in and I guess eventually you would have found out, but it still doesn't make it any easier to hear, now or later. Don't worry, you will get to share your good news soon!!!!!!

[Celena]

I don't know what to say... I'm sorry that is happening to you honey, it's hard!!!!!

I HATE it when we have friends that know what's going on with us and how emotionally traumatic what we've been expierencing... but then there's their excitement of whatever, I know that they're excited and cannot understand what we're going thru but a little tack and compassion would be helpful... then at the same time I know that I cannot expect them to understand yet I should be selfless and share their excitement, BUT IT'S SO HARD!!!!

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.... It's gut wretching to have something like that in front of you and it feels like your pain is being rubbed in your face. I've tried to tell myself that they're wrapped up in themselves so much so by their excitement and everything that they don't *THINK* that maybe sharing that info might be TRAUMATIZING not exciting for us.

I just wish that people could be more mindful, but unfortunatly I think that slips out the window when they're excited or happy about something they want to tell the whole world... It sucks for you (and us) when that happens.... I wouldn't hesitate to say something about being happy for her, but how it makes your hurt worse when she shared that with you. If she's a good friend she'll understand. I don't know how close you two are in your relationship tho. I'd love to handle it for you, tell me where she lives I'll go stomp on her foot and run away for you lol!!!

I'm sending you lots of love, hugs, and prayers

I wish I could (we all do) physically be there for you!!!!

[charlierays]

Originally Posted by celena

I'd love to handle it for you, tell me where she lives I'll go stomp on her foot and run away for you lol!!!

OOOOH, WOULD YA, PLEASE?! LOL!!

Thanks, I needed that!

[Celena]

you're making me cry, GIGANTIC TO YOU!!!!

[Oreobaby]

I'm so sorry...the fertile myrtles, and the oopies are definately killers...(and you definately feel like killing the person on the other side of the computer screen, telephone, table...whatever it may be that is standing in your way!!)

[SkyBaby]

I know how you feel!! I'm so sorry. I'm sure you'll get your happy news someday soon! *hugs*

[tatedivine]

I know how you feel. exactly 4 weeks after my last loss, my friend calls me up to tell me she is pregnant with her 4th child! That made me so angry. I hadn't heard from her in months, she knew I had another loss, so why choose to call me. Plus I just don't agree with her having another child considering she, her partner and 3 children live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat and are not looking like they are planning on moving into a bigger place any time soon. grrrrrrr

Unfortunately, because she called I had to play nice, but my 'congrats' did kinda sound funny. When I tried to explain to her that it was hard for me to deal with at that moment, especially because I knew another 7 girls that were pregnant as well and that was hard enough to deal with, she just turned and ignored me.

So I do know how you feel. I just hope that those feelings do start to go away, cause I don't wanna be a bitter old woman. lol

[..Penelope..]

I'm sorry, honey. Big huge coming your way.

[starrsgirl]

I know how you feel too! I can completely forgive people that don't know about my losses. I am able to be congratulatory for them.

But, for the few people that know of my trouble....I am absolutely unforgiving unless one of them would caveat their news with "I just wanted to keep you in the loop that I'm pregnant....I know this is hard for you to hear but I didn't want you to find out from anyone else"....or something like that. I guess I just ask for an acknowledgement. Has that ever happened? No. It's usually like this: "OMG! I'm pregnant!!!!! I can't believe it was so easy!!! I'm only 4 weeks pregnant and I already set up the whole nursery!!! We have already picked a name!!!" That is just plain hurtful.

[JessP]

I am so sorry this is so hard for you. I know that sometimes friends don't say anything because they are afraid of hurting you/us. And form the sounds of the multiple emails she was a little worried about telling you or putting it off at least. If someone hasn't dealt with loss they don't fully understand even if they do know the story. I know my cousin sent me a baby shower invite right after our loss, like within a week. But now looking back I think that if they had left me out I would have been upset too because she is my cousin and this was her first and she should be excited. A little different I know, but sometimes people don't mean to be hurtful, they just aren't sure how to act. I mean until I went through my m/c I had no idea how many of my friends and family had gone through one. We just don't talk about it... usually. I even try to cover it up at work and not tell people because I don't want to upset people. No idea why, other than I also am a rather private person at work. Anyway I am starting to ramble. So sorry that you are having to go through this, I wish none of us were here and it was easier. I also agree that around O time is a better mood for me and maybe for many of us. Lots of hugs and support hun.