My mother

mommie2many · #1 September 3rd, 2009, 09:11 PM

Can you belive my mother has the nerve to tell me that having to m/cs is my body trying to tell me something. That I should be thankfull for the 5 I have now. That I sould go and get my tubes tied.

Im so mad right now.

JessP · #2 September 3rd, 2009, 09:40 PM

What a mean thing to say. Grrr some people. So sorry she is being so mean.

momof6lopez · #3 September 3rd, 2009, 09:49 PM

Its unfortunate that some moms feel it their right to say whatever they feel, not taking your feelings into consideration. But hopefully she just does not want you to go through more heart ache and feels that if you tie your tubes you wont hurt anymore. Sadly, we know the pain all to well and does not matter how many children you already have. Im so sorry for her very disheartening comment.

~InHisHands~ · #4 September 4th, 2009, 03:01 AM

I hate when people say things like that. You know I'm also a member of the Secondary Infertility board and a while back one of our members made a blinkie for us that I think you'll like (it deals with those kind of comments from the perpective of secondary infertility though)...

charm · #5 September 4th, 2009, 04:32 AM

I completely understand I have 2 children and I know I am blessed but hey I would love just one more to complete my famikly well last week I rang my dad to tell him I had has an u/s and I was m/c guess what he said well it's horrible and unthinkable he ranted about how I have two kids and dh and I are happy just leave it alone (I have had 2 m/c in 6 months mind you) So I have decided when I am able to conceive again I am not telling them only my DH and you guys I am so over it ppl saying but you are lucky blah blah blah sometimes ppl can be so aweful Sorry about my rant but I want you to know you are not alone *HUGS*

Trish36 · #6 September 4th, 2009, 04:46 AM

HUGS!! I'm sorry you are getting grief from your own mother. My mother told me the other day that I'm getting old and that's why I'm having these m/c. HA...she was 38 when she had my sister, and I'm not even 37 yet. I just ignore these comments, because it really would only lead to a big fight. No one should be able to tell you how many kids you should or shouldn't have. People just think that they have a right to voice their opinions well meaning or not. It's crazy! Don't let her comments get to you !!!!!!

BTW Chantal...Love your siggy.

missy123 · #7 September 4th, 2009, 05:24 AM

Do we have the same mother? My mom pretty much said the same thing to me. It has pushed me away from her. My own sons are more supportive than my family.

I am sorry she said those things to you, I know how hurtful it is.

.:Shortcake:. · #8 September 4th, 2009, 05:52 AM

Hugs I'm so sorry hunnie

mlyster · #9 September 4th, 2009, 06:09 AM

Ladies I am so sorry your parents are like this. No one should be telling you how many kids you should or should not have. If 2 miscarriages is a way of telling you that you should not have any more kids.... what about those of us that have none. Miscarriage is a horrible thing that just happens and does not mean you should stop trying.

We are here for you ladies!!

Kary♥RN · #10 September 4th, 2009, 07:58 AM

Oh Chantal HUGS... I am so sorry. She was wrong in saying that, and I am so sorry she hurt you. You have every reason to be mad. HUGS

krystal g · #11 September 4th, 2009, 11:16 AM

I'm so sorry too. I don't have any children yet, but I can imagine the hurt that must cause. At least you have the support of everyone here. <<hugs>>

Oreobaby · #12 September 4th, 2009, 11:42 AM

I am so sorry girls...

..Penelope.. · #13 September 4th, 2009, 06:58 PM

I'm so sorry, ladies

Huge

photogmama · #14 September 4th, 2009, 06:59 PM

Chantal...I'm sorry! Your mom sounds a lot like my mother. It took a comment from my teenage daughter one day a few years back for me to put it all in perspective...she said "well, at least grandma teaches us how NOT to be a grandma"....so her horrible example/behavior is doing some good for future generations! If nothing else I have learned things I will never say to my own children/future in-laws!

farasha · #15 September 4th, 2009, 07:01 PM

Ugh! I'm sorry! That is a horrible thing to say... and NOT TRUE! HUGS! It hurts that so many people just don't understand.. but especially your mother!

mommie2many · #16 September 6th, 2009, 07:04 AM

See the thing is she should understand she had a m/c 8 yrs ago and got pg right away. Im the oldest of 6 kids so what gives her the right to tell me this.

Its cause she cant stand my dh and thinks my kids a brats. Shes what we call a fly by Grandma(only around when theres no man in her life)

jenine · #17 September 6th, 2009, 05:34 PM

LOL...that is funny, a fly by grandma? Sad that it has to be that way. But sounds like she is best at a distance!!

rebeccabaltimore and more · #18 September 6th, 2009, 07:19 PM

I am just going to write a book on what not to say to women who have had losses so we can hand it out to people who say crazy stuff!

Cathy =^..^= · #19 September 6th, 2009, 07:38 PM

It amazes me just how insensitive people (even our own mothers) can be. I am glad that I have a supportive family. I am sorry that she has treated you this way.

To help me through my loss I went to a local support group called Heartstrings and in that group over I think a 12 week period we learned, among other things, what helps and what doesn't. More ppl should take that class. I think some ppl say things without even thinking.

Loving6 · #20 September 6th, 2009, 09:28 PM

I know about the fly by Grandma(s)!My mom always says"can you do me a favor" and I always reply"as long as it's not a personal one",she has told me no more kids.She says she's going to have to draw names at Christmas.The thing is is she is pretty well off and the ONLY time she buys my kids anything is for their birthday and Christmas.So I feel for you.(((hugs)))