[ldovey83]

I have noticed that since I found out I was going to loose the last baby over a wk ago that I go through these phases... I get really depressed where I hate my life and want to destroy my marriage cause everything my DH does gets me mad or upset.. Then I snap out of it and I am happy and can't imagine leaving my DH.. I am thinking I am just really emotional right now and I am taking things alot harder then usual, but I feel that DH dosen't want to be with me when I really need him or that he dosen't understand what I am going through.. It has been really difficult for me. I can't even talk to him about it cause the one time I did he told me to get over it... So yeah.. Very hurtful comment that shouldn't have been made now has me bottling everything up which definitely is not healthy..

[JessP]

Could you guys go to some grief counseling in your area. That might help you both to understand better what you are both going through. I know my DH just wanted to keep distracted and not think about it. He isn't good with emotions. I am so sorry you are going through this. I would also recommend you start journaling. It can be super healing even if you are the only one who ever reads it you will get all those emotions out.

[starrsgirl]

I'm so sorry you are at this stage right now! And, yes, it's definitely a state of grief. What you're feeling is completely normal. Also, I have learned that guys deal with these kind of things a lot differently than we do. DH also told me to just get over it once. I went through the roof. Really, he was just doing what he thought I needed. Clearly, he was wrong...but he was trying and he was really upset about what happened. Also, it didn't take me overnight to come to the realization or to get better. It took me a good 6 months to get through the grieving process. I'm not trying to worry you more but just to help point out that it may take some time to work through things. And everyone deals with stuff a little differently. This board was really my lifesaver on my darkest days. It does get better with every day that passes....you will never forget but you will start to put the pieces back together.

[Celena]

LINDSEY nothing could be further from the truth, you are NOT a black cloud!!! There is a little thunderstorm passing thru your life right now, but the sun will bust thru the clouds and dry up all the rain. So hang in there, it cannot rain forever

I have been and am going thru this, everyday, it's always a struggle... my emotions have been such a mess and have made me feel crazy. At the same time DH seems further and further away, then an arguement of somehow happens that makes me feel like he's being hateful then he says some pretty nasty things because of whatever got the negative emotions going... it definitly doesn't help when what we really need thru these times is to be consoled, held, loved and understood. However sometimes no matter how much love is poured into us it doesn't totally help. We're grieving a loss... our husbands haven't felt that bond, that connection from day one like we have so they don't totally understand (and never will) they do also have emotions over the situation, but they don't express them like we do and end up bottling it up. Not to mention when we're like this they don't know what to do and find that since they can't "fix" us or know how to they feel helpless, sometimes a little less of a man and husband.

I feel like I am having *deja vu* when I read your post, actually allot of your posts lately... I'm sure the majority of us here can totally relate hun!

PM me anytime! or anyone you feel comfortable doing so honey!