Tell me something

lem0ndr0p · #1 September 22nd, 2009, 05:54 AM

What has your dh/so done to help you get through this rough time?

Our m/c started on our anniversary/my birthday weekend. I was not feeling up to much, but we ended up going out to eat on Saturday. The next day my husband got me Guitar Hero 5 and Rockband Beatles! I was so excited! I have loved playing the GH games and Rockband just blew me away. ALSO, my kids love to play and it really does help promote family time with everyone. We have thoroughly enjoyed it and it had helped take my mind off things. Of course, dh was extremely helpful and supportive, but the attention on something was very refreshing!

Hope you all have a blessed day! It's a new day! I look forward to your responses!

Lemon

SkyBaby · #2 September 22nd, 2009, 07:05 AM

I didn't feel like doing much during my M/C. I had lost my appetite for the first couple of days, so the thought of going out to eat made me want to puke. DH cried and cried with me. He cried so hard he couldn't even stand up. We felt guilty whenever we had fun. When we laughed with my dad and brother and sister. When we played our goofy games. We didn't feel like we should have the right to enjoy ourselves. We knew we had to enjoy ourselves, but the guilt was still there. Took that a good couple weeks to even begin lessening. We didn't do anything extravagant. When I regained my appetite we went out to eat once or twice with his parents. That's kinda it really. I wasn't in much of any physical pain. What hurt was my heart that was in a billion tiny pieces on the floor. It was certainly a matter of me being in more emotional pain than physical, but that could be said for severe physical pain during the MC too. We do have some fun stuff planned next month, 3 months after the MC. We were strapped the month I lost the baby though. Like I said, we only did simple stuff.

*MomofO&Nat* · #3 September 22nd, 2009, 08:45 AM

My DH has been great, although I shut him out alot until last night when we finally talked more about it. He was out of town when I had the worst night of it, so he missed my breakdown and I felt mad about that. It wasnt his fault, he had to go for work and I think he feels really guilty. So now we talked and I feel better. He has done nice things like cleaning for me, doing laundry and giving me a massage because I tend to tense up in my back when I am stressed. So I hope this week will be better now that we got out what was in our heads. I think sometimes you look for someone to blame and it ends up being the ones you love and trust most which isnt fair, but that is what happened with us.

SmileyJen2009 · #4 September 22nd, 2009, 12:25 PM

My s/o was the strong, silent type. He was there for me when I needed to cry and vent, but as for his own feelings, he only broke down once. The day of my D&C we had to wait in pre-op for hours while my doctor performed an emergency c-section on someone else (Thank you for telling me this by the way.... grr) so my s/o and I got to goofing off throwing a sticky lizard kids toy at the ceiling. Just some fun to take our minds off what was happening. Also, afterwards, when I was feeling better, he took me for Chinese dinner. Chinese is my favorite so that was awesome. Overall he has been supportive and an awesome listener!

.:Shortcake:. · #5 September 22nd, 2009, 01:39 PM

My DH did the things around the house and held me while I cried. Hes not the emotional type so he dealt with it all in his own way and time. But for me being with him really helped.

Celena · #6 September 24th, 2009, 08:49 PM

That is yet to be disclosed...

He has a hard time because he can't stand it when I cry, am in pain or lowest of lows like the journey thru these 2 losses we've had this summer. It's been difficult going thru it and him closing up inadvertantly disconnecting which feels like he's pushing me away.

I've expressed my feelings, but he gets caught up and defensive at times... so I try again in a different way of saying it, he "gets" it and has expressed how he doesn't know how to "fix me" but I have to remind him I'm not broken. There's just some things you have to go thru the emotions of and *deal* with it not push it up on that shelf because it will break! That's when an explosion occurs. So I dunno... we are working on it and we have grown so much together that this is and will be one of those life events that will not break us but make us stronger.

We will get thru this.