[krystal g]

13dpo and another BFN*. I've been nauseous, lump in my throat gonna toss my cookies** any minute sick since 4:30 this morning when I woke to temp and POAS. AF is usually due 15/16dpo, so I guess I still have a couple of days. Keeping everything crossed...

So last night, DH and I were invited to some freinds' house for a birthday to play games and eat unhealthy fattening finger foods. My dinner consisted of chips and dip, cheese and crackers, buffalo chicken nuggets, mozzarella sticks, cake, ice cream and cookies <<yummm, the cookies were my homemade oatmeal m&m ones and I "accidentally" made a double batch so I guess I'm stuck eating cookies for the next few days >> It was a wonderful dinner. Anyway, we were there with a few other couples, and while the husbands were all talking their Air Force*** man talk, us ladies were just hanging out. That would be lady with a baby, lady with twin newborns and lady that is currently pregnant. And me. Fun. So what did we talk about? Babies, of course, and baby bellies. Yay. I'll give you a recap: Lady with a baby: "10 months on and I still have some belly I can't get rid of." Lady with twin newborns: "Oh my poor belly, my healing c-section, blah, blah, blah." Lady who is pregnant: "I just love my baby belly!" Me: "Yeah, still got my belly. It's been 2 1/2 months...still there. No baby though. And I have a broken foot so I can't exercise it off....still no baby though. Oh, and yes, these are my maternity jeans**** I'm wearing. Thanks for noticing. Yeah, I know I was only 11 1/2 weeks pregnant but I gained a huge belly. And yes, I still don't fit back into my regular jeans. Stretchy is good, right?" OK, so I didn't really say that. I really wanted to, but luckily before I opened my mouth I realized it was a birthday party and not a pity party. Other than that, it was a fun evening.

* I'm fairly certain I have a pink highlighter around here somewhere. I'm just going to draw a second line in and be done with it.
** Upon reflection, it could actually be my cookies I'm gonna toss. I seriously ate a lot.
*** Apparently when you become Air Force (and all military) /spouse, you agree to make lots of babies. Seriously, I thinks it's a regulation. I'm beginning to think I don't belong.
**** I'm actually glad I wore my maternity jeans. They made more room for cookies.


UPDATE
14dpo (normally a 15/16 day luteal phase) Still a BFN. And this is my 2nd day of nausea so bad I just want to curl up and die. Not my normal passing bouts of queasiness...I feel like I should have my head hanging over the toilet. I was actually awake most of the night because I was uncomfortable (don't know why) and pukey. BAH!!! It's looking like I'm not pregnant at this point so the only other thing it could be is the flu, right? The flu with no other symptoms? OK AF, just come on already. Put me out of my misery.

UPDATE#2
15dpo and another BFrigginN. AF should be here tomorrow or Thursday. I am still unbelievably, unrelentlessly nauseous for the 3rd day in a row and my temp went up this morning. Usually by now, when AF is just around the corner, my temp is already headed South. It went up and is holding strong! I know it could be a fluke, but these mixed signs are killing me. Sorry for the whining ladies, this is just an incredibly difficult 2WW for me. If I wasn't so nauseous, maybe I would be my normal self - disappointed but OK with AF coming. But normally, by this point in my cycle, my temp has dropped dramatically and I have my "AF is on her way" feeling. What sucks is that my body is telling me I still have a shot at a BFP but my brain is laughing at me.

[missy123]

Part of your post made me laugh and part of it brought tears to my eyes. I really like your pink hilighter idea, I may just use it myself as I got a BFN today too. And if you really don't want to eat the cookies that you double made.... oh nevermind, I will just go bake some myself I love cookies!

It has only been 2 months since your loss. Do these ladies know about it? It must have been so hard for you to sit through a conversation like that. It would have been very painful emotionaly for me. And don't feel bad about the weight gain, I seriously still look pregnant and it has been 5 months. Part of it is because I went into a depression after my loss and gained more weight. If I look at belly pics, I look 5 months pregnant. It kind of bothers me and that is why I started working out a little.

How did you hurt your foot? I broke a bone in my foot early last year and was in a cast and then a walking boot for almost a full year. I gained 15lbs during this time as I couldn't excercise at all! A few weeks ago I started working out on a treadmill for 30 minutes a few days a week and sometimes I can still feel the twinge in my foot.

My friend Mu and her husband never want any children. She loves kids and is a fantastic auntie to her 2 neices, completely dotes on them and takes them for weeks at a time but they just don't want any of their own. Her husband was in the Army when they first met and for 3 years she had such a hard time making any friends on base as all of the other women wanted to do was talk about making babies. That just came to mind when you said that about the military. I wonder if it is somewhere in the contract.... must marry a woman and talk about nothing else but having babies.

I am sorry you had a rough time at the party and got a stupid BFN today. You are going to make a wonderful mommy!!!

[SkyBaby]

I'm glad you enjoyed at least some of your evening. DH is in the army reserves. I know how it goes. He doesn't really hang out with many of his army friends anymore though. They're all in Afghanistan and Germany right now. I gained weight and I was only pregnant for 5 weeks or so. If only extra poundage would come off as fast as it appears.

[Celena]

Krystal I'm sorry honey! It always seems like when we're going thru something everyone is inadvertantly throwing it in our faces without knowing it.... TV, radio, people UGH!!! Faulker's!!!!

Good for you and the yummy oatmeal cookies, you might be rather *regular* here for the next few days LOL!

Hey 13dpo still could be too early esp. if you implanted late, so who knows it could go either way and right now there's no telling! Don't give up entirely yet, ok? I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky tho, nausea is the pits and one of my nemisis' that's fo sho!

[krystal g]

Thanks Missy for the kind words. My friend knows about my loss. The other 2 women I've only met a couple of times. I have no idea if she's told them or not. I guess I always expect her to understand that I don't love being around babies and pregnant women. She's had 2 losses herself but admittedly says it didn't really affect her much...she just moved on. She had 2 really early m/c then went on to have a successful pregnancy after each. I guess I just have to accept that she doesn't get it. She's a great friend otherwise.

I broke my foot, my 5th metatarsal (Jone's fracture) by stepping on a stick, rolling my foot and falling like a dumb***. It's been 5 weeks so far, another estimated 7-11 to go. So far I don't have to have surgery and I'm in a boot but I can't put any weight on it. I gained like 20lbs instantly when I got pregnant and then some more after the miscarriage because I think I was just depressed and just didn't care. And now with the foot, there's not much I can do about it right now. So I'll just eat cookies instead

[krystal g]

Originally Posted by Celena

Good for you and the yummy oatmeal cookies, you might be rather *regular* here for the next few days LOL!

I sure hope so!!! LOL

And it is true, babies and pregnant women are everywhere!!! Do they not all know what we go through? Can they not have the decency to not be at Walmart when I'm there? OK, obviously I'm kidding, but it feels like that sometimes. I guess I get a little self absorbed, but some days it's just tough.

[Kary♥RN]

Krystal..
HUGS... I know how hard a situation like can be. I am put into it at work weekly... THey have had such a HUGE pregnancy boom... and like you said Here I sit with no pregnancy, no baby... I do think that you being in the end of your two week wait helps.. I know it does with me.. if it was the during AF... I would have lost it.. Around O time.. depending on how I felt.. But when I feel like I did everything right that cycle.. and I'm just waiting for that BFP.... I can deal with preggers, and babies.. I give you credit.. I'm not sure If I would have been able to sit their.. I would have started to think.. wow that Air force man talk sounds pretty darn interesting.. HUGS

[farasha]

Oh Krystal.... I know it's not funny, but you had me laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. You should eat all the cookies you want!!!!! And tell those women know to stuff their big mouths about their big bellies! Ugh! I feel like everyone I see is pregnant too. DH even notices it. Yesterday he was annoyed with all the people changing their babies because he thought he saw them everywhere. It's rough. And you're only 2 months away from your loss... which is still a really tough time. Big HUGS to you. I hope you get your next BFP soon.

[starrsgirl]

Krystal,
Big Hugs to you...DH and I are both Air Force and you don't even have to explain to me how those "air force" get togethers are...I always get mad because DH wanders off to talk about work or guns or something and he leaves me to the girls to listen to them talk about babies all night!!!

We arrived at this base almost 4 years ago. DH had 10 people in his training class and he still tends to hang out with them. If they didn't start with kids 4 years ago, now they all have kids! The hardest part was that 2 of them got pregnant around the same time we did...but we went on to lose that pregnancy. So, now I'm constantly surrounded by their newborns.

Also, I noticed yours and DH's age and you guys are like us in that WHEN you have a kid, you will be older than the standard military family. It's hard because DH and I are still working on #1 when everyone else is on #3 or so....this would not be a big deal but EVERY time I go to some Air Force get together, someone asks about our plans to have kids and why we don't have them yet.

HUGE HUGS to you! It's bad, but I have just started to hang out only with our friends who don't have kids.

[Trish36]

Krystal...first of all LMAO - you always bring a smile to my face! Thanks!!!!!
Secondly....I'm sorry you had to endure all the baby talk and belly rubbing. And you are right....pregnant bellies and newborns are EVERYWHERE!! drives me crazy too.

[JessP]

So sorry it was a hard night. But glad you had a good laugh about it. I told DH that if we don't get the BFP this cycle I am using a pink highlighter . He just laughed at me. I am glad you got to eat yummy cookies. I have been struggling to lose my weight and have weigh-ins coming up so at least you don't have that pressure while TTC too LOL.

[missy123]

That is the same bone I broke too! They put me in a cast and I took it off myself. I got so sick of being on crutches that after 4 weeks I took a hand saw and sawed it right off. Well, I paid the price because I walked on it for about a week and then ended in a walking boot for 8 more months!

I got some pre-made cookie dough as I am feeling lazy and will bake some for both of us! ((Hugs))

[krystal g]

Originally Posted by missy123

That is the same bone I broke too! They put me in a cast and I took it off myself. I got so sick of being on crutches that after 4 weeks I took a hand saw and sawed it right off. Well, I paid the price because I walked on it for about a week and then ended in a walking boot for 8 more months!

Egh, I've heard some horror stories about these fractures. My Dr. was nice enough to give me a choice between cast or boot. Duh! Boot please. I can take it off and air out my foot, thank goodness. But it still hurts way to much to put weight on it. And I'm not allowed to walk on it until my next x-ray in 2 weeks, but hopefully I will get the go ahead to at least try to start walking. I'm so tired of the crutches and the lack of independence that goes with it. A guy I work with had the same fracture and he said he was in a cast for 6 weeks and then the Dr. was done with him. He said his foot hurt him for a year whenever he walked. I'm at least thankful that I seem to have a really good, concerned Dr. that has told me from the beginning that this was going to be a long process with physical therapy afterward and not one that just is treating it like your average broken bone. And, my Dr. (and several others in the practice with whom he's discussed this) is very aware that we are TTC and wants progress reports on the baby situation so we can all make informed decisions about x-rays. For once a Dr. who cares!

[krystal g]

update in 1st post

[*MomofO&Nat*]

Krystal,
You are too funny! Although I totally understand where you are coming from, I was laughing so hard at some of your comments I temporarily forgot the painful parts you mentioned. I love the highlighter idea, only if it was that easy!! It is unfortunate that your friend knows about your loss and did not attempt to change the subject or do anything to make it easier for you. Either way, cookies are good and I am eating some right now too, ha ha. I am still in mat. jeans too so I get how you are feeling. I can't wait until this afternoon to go to the OB for another m/c check up and sit with all the preggo women in the waiting room. Why don't they just shoot me and get it over with? Ugh.

[missy123]

UPDATE
14dpo (normally a 15/16 day luteal phase) Still a BFN. And this is my 2nd day of nausea so bad I just want to curl up and die. Not my normal passing bouts of queasiness...I feel like I should have my head hanging over the toilet. I was actually awake most of the night because I was uncomfortable (don't know why) and pukey. BAH!!! It's looking like I'm not pregnant at this point so the only other thing it could be is the flu, right? The flu with no other symptoms? OK AF, just come on already. Put me out of my misery.


I am really sorry you are so sick honey. My cycles have been all over and I feel all of these different things each cycle that are like EPS but I am not pregnant. I guess it may be due to hormonal changes? Not sure what's going on - that is why I started the journal this month. I hope you are pregnant and just testing bfn now.

[krystal g]

update #2

[Trish36]

Sorry!!!

[.:Shortcake:.]

Maybe it was a late implantation! I know before I didn't get my BFP until way after AF was due!

[missy123]

I hope you are pregnant honey. Either way I made some sugar cookies for us today (((Hugs))) hope the temps stay up and you get a bfp.