How many people have you told???

baby4me? · #1 September 29th, 2009, 07:19 PM

about TTC. The longer it takes to get pregnant again, the more people I tell!! I have told several women at work and now DH and I told my mother and father in law. We keep getting asked by friends, co-workers, and family when we are going to have another child and I just can't help but tell people that I want one now... but sometimes it just doesn't work that way!!!

So how about you??? Who have you told about your pregnancy loss and TTC again???

Oreobaby · #2 September 29th, 2009, 07:37 PM

When we first started TTC (a year and a half ago) we told everyone we were going to start, we had gotten married, and it's always the first question everyone asks...when we got PG...DH (and my dad) were so excited they told everyone, and I mean everyone!! So then when we MC, of course we told everyone again. No one asks us now when we are going to have kids, I guess cause they figure we will try again now...the thing that worries me is DH wants to tell everyone again right away when we get pregnant again...and that scares me.

Do you think you will tell people right away when you get PG again??? (just add this to the other questions, if that's ok??)

JessP · #3 September 29th, 2009, 07:43 PM

We have told a few people. My sister and one friend know we are trying. Dh is always making jokes around them like hey lady go make me a baby

it is so funny. I am like uh trying haha. All in good fun. I don't want our family knowing because with the exception of my mom none of them think we should have anymore. I haven't decided on when we will tell people. I don't know that I will feel safe until the baby arrives so I might just do what we have always done and let things play out. Who knows. I will cross that bridge when we get a bfp.

Celena · #4 September 29th, 2009, 07:50 PM

Just a handful and really, we only said that we were going to "start ttc" after our first loss. When really we have been TTC since April 2008 and it took over a year to get pregnant in the first place... then to suffer 2 losses that's just something I wouldn't want to tell people... not to mention I've already dealt with enough insensitivities without them knowing we had been trying since last year.

It took me a while to even say it here

mlyster · #5 September 29th, 2009, 08:11 PM

Until a few weeks ago NO ONE knew we were TTC. When we got pg the first time my sisters and parents (and in-laws) found out but they did not even find out about the second one. However, recently I posted about it on my blog and let my entire world read about it. It was unbelievably difficult but was like breathing a sigh of relief at the same time. So now that everyone knows about the miscarriages I am sure they have also assumed we are TTC. Thanksgiving will be a huge test of my emotional state because it will be the first time I have seen a lot of the people who just recently found out.

Kary♥RN · #6 September 29th, 2009, 10:58 PM

Well with every loss, every month... More people find out.... I feel like I should just put it on a shirt.... "TTC, 15 months ... M/C, 3 in 11 months.... No babies to hold .... Numberless"

.:Shortcake:. · #7 September 30th, 2009, 04:24 AM

Alot of people know we are trying because I got sick of everyone asking when we were going to have one even since both of our m/c. But we are not planning on telling anyone until I'm at lease 16 weeks since our first loss was at 13 weeks it really scares me.

momof6lopez · #8 September 30th, 2009, 05:33 AM

Everyone at the office knows, and my family knows. DH's family knows too. Not everyone knows about the second loss though. We had only told my sister and good friend at my work. It was so much easier only telling two people that I lost another one.

Knowing me, I will tell everyone again once we see a h/b. I always tell my gf at work everything, but my sister I usually dont. She got me this time because I was going in for b/w and asked me where I was. I just can lie on the spot, it has to be pre-meditated

farasha · #9 September 30th, 2009, 06:32 AM

After losing three, I've come to the point where I tell anyone who asks about it. I don't volunteer the information, but if someone presses about it, I tell them - half to shut them up, and half to explain that that's a difficult question for me. Because I've had to take so much time off for dr.'s appts, and hospital visits and surgeries... it's impossible to keep it from the people I work with. I figured if the know.. then I might as well let my close friends and family know. I love my babies, and I don't want to hide them anymore. Now that I'm blogging about it, anyone who click's on my facebook profile gets to know too... and I'm ok with that.

Still.. not sure what I'll do with the next pregnancy. I'll announce it on my blog, and I have to tell people at work (I work with chemicals some days that could be dangerous), and I'll probably go ahead and tell my close friends too. I mean... at this point.. part of me just wants to have at least a little time to be happy and celebrate a baby before we have another loss...

*MomofO&Nat* · #10 September 30th, 2009, 06:57 AM

With my son, I waited 3 months to tell people I was pg. With the second that ended in m/c, we told people at 7-8 weeks and lost the baby at 9 weeks. Now, I feel sad that my family (immediate only) knows we are TTC #2 because when and if we do finally have success, it won't be a surprise anymore and they will all know it is coming. I have also told a few close friends that are currently pg about the m/c so that they won't talk constantly about babies in front of me. Some of them have had m/c's themselves and they are the ones I lean on for the most support. We have yet to tell my DH's family (immediate only) b/c the time has not been right. We will this weekend, should be interesting to say the least. I agree with above poster about sometimes just wanting a T shirt made so people will leave me alone about it!

starrsgirl · #11 September 30th, 2009, 01:02 PM

We really haven't told anyone we are TTC. It makes me feel really vulnerable because I'm just not sure what the future holds for us in that department. I suspect that DH has told a few guy friends because sometimes he comes home with random bits of information that he thinks will help me "so and so had 2 miscarriages, so and so had to try for 10 months to get pg". I don't really mind that he tells some guys. I'm glad he is talking about it, it makes things feel more real to me. I haven't really talked to my family about it or anyone at work. I suspect most people at work know about our last loss but no one ever says anything....and no one's ever very careful about what they say around me (in other words someone usually says something stupid in front of me at least once a week).

If/when we get pregnant again, we are going to try and not tell anyone for 16+ weeks. I think we may actually be able to pull that off where I work now.

baby4me? · #12 September 30th, 2009, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oreobaby

When we first started TTC (a year and a half ago) we told everyone we were going to start, we had gotten married, and it's always the first question everyone asks...when we got PG...DH (and my dad) were so excited they told everyone, and I mean everyone!! So then when we MC, of course we told everyone again. No one asks us now when we are going to have kids, I guess cause they figure we will try again now...the thing that worries me is DH wants to tell everyone again right away when we get pregnant again...and that scares me.

Do you think you will tell people right away when you get PG again??? (just add this to the other questions, if that's ok??)

I will probably wait to tell most people until the 2nd trimester. I may tell my boss... because I work in a school and want to know what to do if I get morning sickness and have to run to the bathroom to throw up. I will probably also tell my mom because I tell her pretty much everything!

baby4me? · #13 September 30th, 2009, 01:40 PM

Oh goodness.... I just finished reading everyone's posts and I feel like everyone needs a big hug

It is definitely an emotional thing talking about TTC after a loss. It does really stink that it won't be a surprise when we are pregnant since we have told so many people about the loss and TTC again. And it really really stinks that the joy we should be feeling will be overshadowed by FEAR. I really wish I could be one of those women who have "an accident". I can't imagine not trying to get pregnant, but getting pregnant, and then the baby sticking!! DH and I have a friend is in this situation and I keep thinking, how did they do that!!

again to all of you. I really pray we all get our BFP's soon and these babies stay put where they are supposed to!

SkyBaby · #14 September 30th, 2009, 02:52 PM

When I got pregnant the first time, I told my folks and Dh's folks right away. They all told everyone else. I told them about the m/c and again same deal, they told everyone we lost the baby. We didn't actually tell them we're ttc. We didn't tell them either way really. We just kinda let them guess. I think they know we're trying because my parents say things like "Eh wait a bit longer. You don't need to be in any rush" and dhs parents keep saying "so any news????" they're excited at the sheer prospect of being grandparents.

Oreobaby · #15 September 30th, 2009, 03:46 PM

Does anyone have any one have any ideas on how I can convince my DH to NOT tell people till we are at least in the second trimester?? I really don't want to tell anyone...having all the questions, and the people we for get to tell if God forbid we have another loss, it just all seem slike too much to have to go through again.