How obsessed are we?

krystal g · #1 September 30th, 2009, 09:30 AM

Here's a question: Are we really obsessed with TTC? And is that a bad thing?

I was just talking to a friend about everything today, just casually, and she was joking with me about how crazy I am with POAS and charting and what not, and how I'm obsessing over possible EPS. I enlightened her with HCG level stats and the best tests to get. Anyway, she (lovingly) told me to quit obsessing, drink a margarita tonight, and take a HPT after I'm a week late or so and then I'll know for sure. She also left me with the same words of wisdom that everyone else seems to have: Quit worrying about it and it will happen.

Now, I'm not upset with her at all, but I truly don't think that I can just quit "trying". And I don't think that I should stop "obsessing". OK, maybe I sometimes stress a bit about it, but I'm almost 35 years old with one pregnancy and no children. The clock is ticking, ladies.

I try hard not to focus on making a baby so sex doesn't become a chore, but other than that, my month is a waiting game. Waiting or AF to leave, waiting to O, 2 week wait...it's just how life is right now. And if I'm blessed enough to have a little one, I'm certain I will start this whole process all over again because we definitely want more than one.

I feel knowledge is wonderful thing and the more informed we are about our bodies and the whole process, the better off we are. I don't live in a world where I can be 2 weeks late and just casually take a pregnancy test just to see it's positive. I can't live in ignorance like that.

So why do others see actively TTC as a negative obsession? Some people knit, some scrapbook, I just log on to Fertility Friend 20 times a day to admire the rising curve of my temperatures. What's wrong with that?

Trish36 · #2 September 30th, 2009, 10:12 AM

Only people who are not ttc or don't have a problem conceiving don't obsess. I never even gave it a thought before I had my m/c. yes I knew about the EWCM and when I was O'ing so that I can best time my bd'ing, but other than that I lived in ignorant bliss. So unfortunately once you have been ttc for a while or have had a m/c or are seeing a fertility specialist you just naturally become obsessed. Let's hope it won't last much longer for us.

stargatemommy · #3 September 30th, 2009, 10:13 AM

LOL! I was just worrying about whether I am too obsessed or not. I agree that knowledge is power. But I also think that there can be a happy balance. My obsessing causes the days to crawl by. As opposed to when I decided to focus on something else. And the more I think about it the more disappointed I am when it doesn't happen. Yet I still obsess over every sign and test.

mlyster · #4 September 30th, 2009, 11:22 AM

For me obsessing is not an option. I already have too much knowledge not to. For istance before my first miscarriage I didn't worry about when I O'd - because I didn't feel any need to. Now I know all the signs and can not ignore them. Before I was TTC if I was late it was no big deal because there was no chance I was pregnant. Now that I want to be pregnant I hope so much to be pregnant that I could never be a week late and not GO CRAZY!

jensma · #5 September 30th, 2009, 11:31 AM

i completely agree. We can't help but obsess. In fact i obsess more when i'm not obsessing!!

farasha · #6 September 30th, 2009, 12:15 PM

I've tried to not obsess, and I failed miserably.

I'm addicted to my thermometer.

And I don't care! I have crazy cycles and three losses... I don't give a flying #*#$& who wants me to stop obsessing... they wouldn't be able to sop if they were in my shoes either! (Not that I want them to be... but otherwise, they'd never understand...)

starrsgirl · #7 September 30th, 2009, 12:51 PM

I definitely used to make fun of people who were obsessed with getting pregnant before. Yes, that was me and I'm sorry for my sins. I too lived in ignorant bliss until recently. We didn't even really "try" to get pregnant the first two times...it just happened.

Now, I can truly call my self a member of the "obsessed club"...not only with getting pregnant but doing everything possible to keep it. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the old, ignorant way, but I can't. So I just have to embrace it. My DH has even started to understand the obsession a little more...that's a good thing too.

baby4me? · #8 September 30th, 2009, 01:44 PM

I agree with Trish... if you have no losses and no problems getting pregnant than it is easy for you not to obsess. So unless you have had problems, you shouldn't talk!!

I totally was stress free and in the fun baby making zone this summer. We got pregnant right away and I was in heaven. Well now it is almost 3 months after the loss and you bet I am in the crazy baby making mode!!!

mum74 · #9 September 30th, 2009, 10:27 PM

I think the loss amplifies the 'obsession'. I was always pretty d*mned keen to get pregnant each time we were ttc, so I always charted a bit. But after the m/c I started using a couple of ovulation predicators so I wouldn't take a chance on missing O...I think I just got a little more desperate with ttc after the loss and I think that is just natural.

What I didn't do was talk to people much IRL about it. I had one friend who knew we were trying still and I confided in her and she knew I was using OPKs etc, but no one else would have known to have even made the 'obssessed' comment! I actually told people that we didn't know if we would try again - just to stop the 'wondering' about us. I just find it easier if there's not too many noses poking in to my business

!

.:Shortcake:. · #10 October 1st, 2009, 03:56 AM

I agree ladies! I am obsessed and I don't really care! I want to be pregnant again!

Kary♥RN · #11 October 1st, 2009, 01:02 PM

I made the mistake of telling one person... All the different ways "TTC" Ie: checking CM, Cervix, OPK's, Robotussin, Preseed, baby aspirin, temping, charting. And you could tell in her words... "You don't do all that do you?" She was thinking... "YEP THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY" I said no... but the truth is yes I have used all the above.. some months.. all the above, some months.. only some. So I guess to the general public.. I AM INSANE.... If you told people everything you do... I am sure we all crazy! And would look like obsesed people. But than again... They would be the same way if they wanted it as bad as us.. Hopefully those people will never be in our shoes!

momof6lopez · #12 October 1st, 2009, 01:48 PM

Yup, Im obsesive too. I dont think you could find one woman on here or in another loss board that is not! And reaching out to everyone here has caused me to be obsesive with their cycles too, as if mine was not enought!

When your DH has to ask you on a daily basis "Hows so and so doing with their cycles?", you know you have crossed the line........

Kary♥RN · #13 October 1st, 2009, 02:23 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA LORI! That is so horiable... You have even pulled DH into our crazy little obsessed worl! "As the temps rise" HAHAHA

momof6lopez · #14 October 1st, 2009, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kary♥RN

HAHAHAHAHAHA LORI! That is so horiable... You have even pulled DH into our crazy little obsessed worl! "As the temps rise" HAHAHA

He just shakes his head when I get on here! I think they get jealous to a degree, because we can communicate in a way they just dont get! But your right, he has been sucked in, no turning back

charm · #15 October 2nd, 2009, 02:46 AM

My friends don't get it either but they also haven't suffered a loss I say whatever gets you through the day I temp use opk's and hmmm hpt's I am a POAS holic I think we all are but it gives us positive hope I don't even bother talking to them about it anymore I chat here instead *HUGS* ladies !!!!

katinagj · #16 October 2nd, 2009, 11:28 AM

I am lucky enough to have a sister in law who is also partially obsessed. She does chart. She may not be as obsessed as me but she is not ignorant. It's nice to have someone around who understands! In my family ignorance is definitely bliss. My parents are probably the most ignorant of them all, but every time they tried to conceive they got pregnant within a month or two so they never had any reason to obsess. Only those who know the truth obsess. I think it's good to know what is going on with your body. Some girls don't and end up having problems that they could have known about a long time ago if they were charting or checking signs. It's definitely good to obsess to a certain extent. When it starts to my life to stressful I take a break. That's when I got pregnant. I was letting TTC affect my sanity a little too much. Once I learned to balance things out though, it's not hard to keep your sanity while obsessing over TTC.