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*MomofO&Nat* · #1 October 6th, 2009, 08:56 AM

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momof6lopez · #2 October 6th, 2009, 12:21 PM

Can relate to everything you just said. Im sure everyone here can as well. Your not a jerk and your feelings are justified. Your pregnant friends are good friends, the ones who want to talk to you about your loss and not act like it did not happen, but they dont understand what you are going through. Im glad you do have a friend that understands and is letting you speak about it on your own terms.

zkat · #3 October 6th, 2009, 02:20 PM

I think you are so kind and considerate to think about your prg. friends right now. You are a very caring and sincere person. I understand how you feel. The person I have talked to the most is my BFF, who had two losses between her 2nd and 3rd (the losses were back to back). She does truly understand better than someone who has not been through the pain.

Maybe if you explain to your pregnant friends that you don't feel it is fair to unload on them and cause them undue stress, but reassure them that you have someone that is there for you.

Hugs.

Kat.

JessP · #4 October 6th, 2009, 02:51 PM

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. It sounds like you have people who really care and want to help. But I also understand not wanting to unload on them because why ruin their bliss. You are not a jerk

. I agree with the kat that you should just let them know you are fine and that you don't wish to talk about it.

~InHisHands~ · #5 October 6th, 2009, 04:29 PM

You are def not a jerk! I completely understand though haven't run into that situation myself!

Kary♥RN · #6 October 6th, 2009, 07:44 PM

I agree with EVERYTHING you said you feel. It is so hard to talk to someone who is pregnant and never had a loss.... HUGS you are not a jerk... If that is the case.. we all would be jerks!

nurselochia · #7 October 7th, 2009, 06:27 AM

You are not a jerk and shouldn't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. Glad you have someone you can talk to that understands. (((HUGS)))

mum74 · #8 October 7th, 2009, 05:03 PM

I think one of my friends felt she should keep asking, so as not to be insensitive. I actually told her that I will talk about it IF I want to bring it up, otherwise I didn't want to talk about it. I did tell her that I was talking about it a lot online and that was helping me (as I find it easier to talk to people I don't know about sad things!).

So I would say they are probably just trying to be good friends and trying to let you know they haven't forgotten your loss. If you don't want to talk about it with them I think you just need to be honest and tell them you appreciate their support but that you don't want to talk about it with them at the moment and that you will bring it up if/when you do

SmileyJen2009 · #9 October 9th, 2009, 09:05 AM

I am so glad you posted this because I am feeling the exact same way right now. I actually just got off the phone with my best friend, who found out last night that she is pg. So I headed straight to the boards for some support.
This particular friend has a gorgeous 17 month old son and has never experienced a loss, but she was totally there for me when I had my molar. I am super happy for her, but there is a huge part of me that is feeling like I can't talk to her anymore about how I'm feeling about my loss, because I don't want to spoil her happiness or freak her out. Plus I never want her to think she can't talk to me about how blissful her pregnancy is!
Its such a weird feeling, and you are definately not alone. Don't think that you're a bad person though, its totally natural to feel like this after a loss around your pregnant friends.
Definately post here when you need to talk!!! We're always here to listen!