Tomorrow marks a year from our last loss

starrsgirl · #1 October 19th, 2009, 05:34 PM

So, as the title says, tomorrow is the year mark after our last loss. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I'm doing much, much better than I was doing right after the loss. But, on the other hand, it's sad that we haven't gotten pregnant or anything since then. I can't believe it's been a year. That loss in particular (unlike my first) drastically changed the course of my and DH's life. We have made some major decisions since then and are in a totally different place than we thought we would be.

Anyway, I want to DO something tomorrow. I'm not crazy sad about the loss, I just want to recognize it for what it was and how much it's changed me. I just don't know what. I have to go to work tomorrow but I feel the need to do something to remember the year mark. Anyone have any ideas? Have you ever done anything to remember your loss anniversary?

JessP · #2 October 19th, 2009, 08:53 PM

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I have not come up on my one year mark yet so I am not sure how I will handle it. I hope you find something that helps you.

mlyster · #3 October 20th, 2009, 05:49 AM

I don't really have any suggestions - just wanted to say that I am thinking about you today!

momof6lopez · #4 October 20th, 2009, 05:58 AM

Sending you hugs today on your angelversy. Im hoping that today goes by smoothly for you without too many tears.

krystal g · #5 October 20th, 2009, 06:46 AM

First off, I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you. I don't really have any good suggestions...my first thought was to plant a tree so you could have a living representation but I know you are in the Air Force and permanence is not a part the deal. My second thought would be to maybe buy some collectible - like a little angel figurine or something engraved to represent your angel...I don't know, I haven't had an angelversary yet, but I think I may do something like that to have a reminder. I hope you get through today without too much sadness.

farasha · #6 October 20th, 2009, 06:59 AM

Hugs!!!! I haven't hit that mark yet, so I'm not sure either... after our first loss, we made a puzzle of a baby and dated it, but that was more of a memorial than anything else, and we've put the dates of our other losses there too. The October 15th memorial I went to planted a tree, wrote notes to the babies (which will be buried under the tree), and lighted candles/walked. Those were all nice things too. I think even if you and DH just spend the day together, doing something special for the two of you.. that's honoring the memory of the life that touched your family. I'm thinking of you today!

SmileyJen2009 · #7 October 20th, 2009, 08:07 AM

Hugs hun! I hope you are having an ok day today. I love Krystal's idea about buying an angel figurine or something special like that to commemorate the loss. After my d&c this summer, I looked at having a ring made to commemorate my loss, and I was going to set up a payment plan on it so that it would be paid off right around my due date. Also, my dad offered to take me on a vacation over the week of either my due date, or my one year mark so that I wouldn't be sitting at home feeling upset about it around that time.
Perhaps you could write a letter to the baby and one to yourself about all your hopes and dreams for the coming year and open it next year?
Hugs again!

noworries · #8 October 20th, 2009, 08:14 AM

I love the letter writing idea. Write a letter to baby to let him know how much he changed your life.
Thinking of you today.

SweetLilly77 · #9 October 20th, 2009, 09:01 AM

Hi there, I hope you don't mind me popping in from the DDC March board. I just wanted to say that I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and have a little idea that I thought was cute. I did this with my first loss. I wrote a little letter to my baby, and put it inside a balloon, and then released the balloon. I know, it sounds a little silly, but I felt like I was sending the letter to heaven for my baby.

Make a pregnancy ticker

L-SBB · #10 October 20th, 2009, 10:19 AM

HUGS Liz...I just went through the 1 year anniv of our loss last week, and i wish i had a good suggestion on how you could mark it (i do like the letter idea)...i chose to sit quietly for 15 mins in contemplation....about how much i missed my first angel, and how it changed me, DH and our lives both before and after the loss. I'll be thinking of you today.

Trish36 · #11 October 20th, 2009, 11:52 AM

HUGS! I'll be thinking of you.

Kary♥RN · #12 October 20th, 2009, 01:47 PM

Liz HUGS.... I wish things were different.. I will be thinking of you today... HUGS

tatedivine · #13 October 20th, 2009, 04:17 PM

sending big hugs

Oreobaby · #14 October 20th, 2009, 04:20 PM

Thinking about you today!!!

Hope you found something fun and exciting to do to keep your mind off of it.

Celena · #15 October 20th, 2009, 05:38 PM

Liz I've been thinking of you lady!

Here's a couple things I've been thinking of doing myself....

I was going to suggest a piece of jewlery, something you can add a charm to &/or something engraveable.

How about a special tattoo? For example, I have a ladybug on my hand and my DH n I were talking about adding a couple small ladybugs in flight to symbolize the 2 babies we lost this summer.

Are you into scrapbooking? Maybe make a mini memorial with any pictures, papers & such to permenantly memorialize it.

I hope you've had a good day today and however you celebrate, it will be a special

thank you for being such a great and strong lady!!!

missy123 · #16 October 20th, 2009, 06:41 PM

Hugs to you. My 1 year day I sat home real quiet the entire day. I shed a few tears for what should have been. I wasn't depressed, just felt more comfortable being alone. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I really hope you get pregnant soon. Much love to you.