Sureal Appt. with the RE

momof6lopez · #1 November 4th, 2009, 01:29 PM

I had such a surreal feeling today at the RE appt. It was a short appt., just a quick u/s and bw, a total of 10min.

I had this feeling 4 yrs ago. 2nd. time in my life now. The first time I had my appt. with the RE, I was the only person in the waiting room. Was very comfortable and ready for answers.

The next appt. I was still the only person in the waiting room, a quick u/s and bw, done. Felt good.

Today, I got there at 7am for my u/s and bw and there were over 6 people waiting. Looking around the room, I felt "swollowed" up. I DID NOT BELONG here anymore! These women are infertile, I have had 4 kids already. I felt an overwhelming feeling of "failure". I mean, when confronted with all those women, there for the same reasons as me, it made me confront the fact that yes "I do have a problem". This feeling really sucks.

The only other time I felt this was my first day in treatment of Breast Cancer. There I sat in a waiting room with women over 15yrs. my senior. I DID NOT BELONG there either. Im young, Im healthy, Im not old, I cant be sick. It was the worst day of my life at that point. To see that yes, Iam volnurable, and yes, Iam sick.

I guess this might sound weird to some women, but when you have been through trauma like this, this feeling of "surreal" is last feeling you ever want to feel again. I pray that the next visit will not leave me this horrible feeling again. I took several weeks during cancer treatment to get over the fact and come to terms with "I have cancer". I wish I could just accept the fact that I do have "fertility" issues and move on. My mind knows this, but my heart does not want to accept it yet.

Kary♥RN · #2 November 4th, 2009, 02:33 PM

Lori HUGS!!! I am out the door to work.. I will respond to this tonight at work.. You are not a failure... But I will get into that later.. LUV YA!!! XOXOXOXO

~InHisHands~ · #3 November 4th, 2009, 02:57 PM

Trish36 · #4 November 4th, 2009, 03:20 PM

Hugs!!!!!

.Jessica. · #5 November 4th, 2009, 04:10 PM

AWE you shouldnt feel like that...you have every right to be there just as the other ladies do. You havent failed anyone either. I hope you can start feeling better about your journey...T&P for you...hugs

JessP · #6 November 4th, 2009, 09:11 PM

missy123 · #7 November 5th, 2009, 02:08 PM

hi. I am sorry you went through that and felt that. you are not broken.... xoxoxo me

Mel1979 · #8 November 5th, 2009, 04:01 PM

Big

Celena · #9 November 5th, 2009, 05:53 PM

Lori, I read this yesterday... I've yet to totally collect my thoughts to answer you with my heart. I have allot to say.

I'll be back to add to this...

TeresaSuperMama · #10 November 6th, 2009, 11:32 AM

(((Hugs))) I've been feeling kind of lost myself lately and you have definitely been a friend to me when I needed it. I hope you can lean back when you need it. I hope the RE gives you lots of good answers.