[krystal g]

Today was my lets-get-some-testing-started-because-I've-had-2-miscarriages-back-to-back appt. The Dr. I saw is my Primary Care Physician but this was the first time I've ever met her (she's been deployed since I started going there over a year ago and I've had a different Dr. each time). It's a Family Practice clinic and she's the Family Practice Dr. who is also an OB and handles all the high-risk pregnancies. Needless to say I was excited to be seen by her...I've been very upset this whole time because I couldn't see an OB. I was excited until I met her, that is. She was polite enough, but not particularly friendly. We talked about what's been going on, the m/c, my cycles (I brought all my FF charts) and she very un-enthusiastically said we would start with bloodwork. She thinks there's a possibility that I may have a clotting problem - my maternal grandmother had at least 5 micarriages - but doesn't think I have thyroid issues or PCOS. But also said that 2 m/c is not that uncommon and is probably nothing. And she thinks that 2 pregnancies in 8 cycles is good...obviously no problems ovulating or conceiving.

And....then she brought up my weight. I am 100+lbs overweight...no big secret there and have been struggling with it for a while, but am otherwise healthy. I've had no health problems at all other than my broken foot. So, yeah, I need to lose weight, no sh**, but it's been a pretty crappy last few months...2 miscarriages, suicide in the family, broken foot that took away my independence so zero exercise for me...sigh...I know, I know, just eat less and exercise.

She tells me that she does NOT want me to TTC for a few months to:
1) give my body a chance to heal (it was a chemical with a heavy period following it, I think I'm OK now) even though she said there's no evidence that suggests I will m/c again...it's just her preference
2) get blood tests back
3) lose weight. I'm too fat! I need to lose weight and get healthy and only then TTC. I need to focus on "getting healthy" for a few months. According to her I have no excuses since I'm off crutches (apparently I'm supposed to ignore my limp, swollen foot, sore ankles and knees because I'm still not walking "correctly" and the fact that I haven't even started my physical therapy yet!!!). Hmmm, maybe I'll go for a jog tonight!

OK ladies, I'm seriously not making excuses for myself, I know I need to lose weight, but come on! It's not like everyone who has a healthy pregnancy has a perfect BMI!!!

***takes deep breath***

She told me that my bloodwork would be back within a month (Month? WTH?! I just love military healthcare!!!) and to call her if I haven't heard from her by mid December. Until then...lose weight and use contraception. Right now I'm in the midst of O time and I told her that. Not sure if I have already or will today or tomorrow. But I AM NOT stopping TTC this month! No way...sorry doc.

I'm so upset about all of this. All I wanted was for a nice Dr. to tell me that we were going to figure this out, do some tests, and help me have a healthy baby. Maybe a smile from her. All I got was an ambivalent Dr. who tells me I'm too fat and to stop trying to have a baby. If I have to wait 3 months after a m/c and it takes me 3 months to get pregnant (as it has the last 2 times) then it will be April before I conceive again? No f****** way!!! I can't do that.

I don't know what to do...what to think. I don't have the option of changing Dr's...even if I got a new PCP I would still end up seeing her cause she's the OB. I feel so defeated, like this is my fault. I'm so upset...

[SkyBaby]

I'm so sorry it's going badly for you. She did not sound nice at all. Are there any other OBs you can see?

[.:Shortcake:.]

Hugs hun I am so so sorry that your going through all of this. I wish there was a way for you to switch doctors like I did. My old OB said the same thing this one said to you but the new one while still staying I need to get healthier has also diagnosed me with PCOS and has also put me on Clomid even though I am ovulating every month it helps me O stronger. I'm praying that you get a BFP this month and show her!

[*MomofO&Nat*]

Oh, Krystal. I am so sorry the appt went so badly. She sounds like everything that is wrong with doctors today, rude, uncaring and act like they are already on to their next patient before they are done with you. I wish you had the option to seek out someone else. But because you don't, all I will say is this. And it doesn't completely pertain to your story but kind of. My OB told me to stop TTC after I had 3 cycles with ovarian cysts in order to 'regulate my system'. I was so upset, but I planned to follow her advice....UNTIL... I went in for my f/u u/s on the cyst and SAW an egg about to pop out. The tech said 'you are about to ovulate'. I looked at my husband, and we both knew we were going to TTC that day because when else do you SEE ovulation...and we did, and that egg was my son Owen So do what you think is right, Doctors are NOT always right. If I had listened to her, Owen would not be here today. And please do not try to exercise until you feel up to it, you will get injured even worse. Sounds like you are listening to your body and that is what matters. Hugs!

[Kary♥RN]

OH Krystal... HUGS. WTH? I am so sorry that, that Doc can't understand how hard this whole GD ****** jouney is! To ask you to wait, To ask you to not try... When you life has become TTCAL.. We are not just TTC.... WE HAVE LOST! LOST so much through our Journey. ANd Krystal it sounds like you have lost even more of the last few months. HUGS...

I can only tell you what I would do. I would keep TTC. If it happens.. GREAT.. if not.. continue with the tests. I would start my Physical Therapy. And try to do what I could to "Loose" a little weight (I know it is hard) Krystal I gained a little weight.. no matter I have done.. Can't seem to loose it.

What ever you decide we are here for you! HUGS

[krystal g]

Skybaby - No. Well...most likely no. I have to see military docs. My friend had to drop her military insurance down to see a civilian OB because she did not like the Family Practice clinic...they refused to give her a referral. I can't drop my insurance...not an option. I could ask to see another Dr. in the clinic...but she's the OB...anything special would kinda defer back to her. I'm really stuck. Sometime military insurance really sucks.

[krystal g]

I'm sitting here at work crying over this...that's crazy!!! I was fine until this appointment. I'm trying to relax...not stress...I got the bw done for clotting disorders and thyroid...hopefully I can get some answers when I get the results. I'm not going to stop TTC. I can't. This is who I am now. I'm trying to not let it take over my life...but there's no way I can just put everything on hold for months. I'm not young anymore. And I can't miss a chance to get pregnant again...because if the Dr. is right, there's nothing wrong with me...so how could I miss the chance of conceiving the next baby that will most likely be OK in her opinion? If I get pregnant again before I'm "allowed to" I guess I will just have to deal with the Dr. then.

But I'm so bummed now. And it's all her fault. And when I'm depressed I want to lay on the couch and eat...kind of ironic, isn't it.

[momof6lopez]

Krystal, I can so relate to your awful day, as you have already visited my post. What I have to offer is only this, some women are just meant to be a little "healthier" than others. The majority of women getting pregant are "over weight" as most Americans are overweight. If you are other wise health, and sounds like you are, than I would continue to try and further your bw like Kary said. If she feels you might have some sort of clotting disorder, I would start with the baby aspirin regimin and just keep trying........Im sorry she left you feeling so defeated, Im in the same boat.

[L-SBB]

I just wanted to give you HUGS...sounds like you had a rough appt. I wouldn't wait on TTC either...you can work on losing weight while TTC, but I wouldn't let that hold you up on trying. When you get pregnant (yes - WHEN - not "if", stay positive!) they will watch you carefully if you're overweight since there can be some additional risk of complications....but there's a lot of women with successful pregnancies struggling with their weight, so I wouldn't make conception decisions based on that alone.

[JessP]

Dang JM. I had a whole long post written and now I have to do it again.
Krystal are you on tricare? There is another insurance through the military not well known that you could use to see a dr off base. A co worker of mine uses it so she doesn't have to go to the Navy base for her son. I will find out what it is and let you know.
I hope you prove that mean dr wrong and get a BFP this month.

[KDD]

I agree with Lara. There's no reason you can't TTC and lose weight at the same time. I think I saw a book about eating healthy and losing weight during pregnancy even.

I know it's hard to think about being active when your foot is hurt, do you have access to a pool? You can get an amazing workout in the water without putting any pressure on your foot at all.

Good luck!

[starrsgirl]

Krystal...I'm sorry your appointment sucked!! I can relate to the military health frustrations. The last time I saw an on base provider OB (I went because of my irregular periods) she said "I don't even know why you are here". ***??

I definitely vote to keep TTC. I was supposed to go back on birth control the month we conceived....but I ignored the doc's orders. haha. It's super healthy to workout while you are trying to conceive....it will NOT mess up implantation or anything like that (some people think that). So you can do both! Please be careful about your foot though! I recommend only the bike or the pool right now until you are 100%.

Good luck...thinking of you, Girl.

[Mel1979]

I am really sorry you had such a bad appointment You would think being a woman she would be more understanding!

I was lucky that my ob did all the testing after our 2nd loss and the majority of the bloods done were for thyroid and blood clotting disorders so I am glad you are at least having those done as I think that covers quite a bit. I felt sure there must have been something wrong with me after our second loss but all the tests came back clear and I got my BFP a few months later and so far so good.

I really hope you get your sticky BFP soon and just want to say (especially from my experience) that there is absolutely no reason everything shouldn't go well when you conceive next time. I know that doesn't help in the meantime and I am sorry

[missy123]

Hey Krystal -

I will have more to say later but please don't go and work out! Seriously has this doctor lost her mind. When I broke my foot, I ended up putting too much stress on it afterwards (even though the dr's said it was ok)... I didn't work out but did walk around a lot and did yard work ect.... Now I am paying the price. It still aches at times, and I have to stop doing things sometimes because it never healed properly. And that was in July of 2008 - over a year ago. Just looking out for you as I am/went through the same thing. I am sorry you have the weight to lose but please take care of your foot. I dont want anything long term to happen to you. ((Hugs))

[Trish36]

To hell with her. Who is she to tell you to not ttc until such and such time. WHATEVER!!! She can suggest things to you (like losing weight and maybe waiting until the test results come back to see if anything shows up) but no way can she tell you not to ttc for those reasons. I say just do the bt and trust your gut instinct and do what you feel is right. Sorry you have to deal with such a silly person (I have a stronger word for her but can't use it here).

[TeresaSuperMama]

((((Hugs)))) btdt with military doctors. I wish I had some fabulous advice for you, but I don't today so just wanted to offer a hug and my support.

[~InHisHands~]

I am so sorry you are going through this!

[Oreobaby]

Krystal, I am so sorry. It seems as though there has been a long run of stupid dr. I hope that you get a super sticky and show her...

[jaypbee]

so sorry the o/b was a huge disappointment.

i know everyone's doctors tells them something different about the time to wait before ttc after a loss. i LOVE my o/b. LOVE. lol. she's been wonderful through out my pg and both my losses. anyway, she always suggests waiting one cycle after a loss before ttc. this last time (i m/c naturally) she said she feels it is important for the lining to build back up. plus, she said if we got pg right away and m/c again, it would just muddy the waters. was the loss from my body not being ready or from something else, kwim?

good luck. i hope, since you are kinda "stuck" w/ that doctor, that you can have a much better interaction w/ her next time...