Very torn

JessP · #1 November 14th, 2009, 04:41 PM

So DH and I have been thinking about taking a break until we know if I am going to have to leave my job. In some ways I think its a good idea and some ways I don't want to stop. We are heading into cycle 4 with no luck still

. I know many have been trying to much longer. We waited so long to start trying because of the polyp. But there is another side of this... One year ago Thanksgiving weekend CJ was conceived. I had him with us for 15 wonderful weeks

. If we try this cycle our conception date would be almost identical. Our EDD with CJ was 8/17, this one would be 8/22. I am so very torn about if I want to have another one with the same timing as CJ. It probably seems like a silly reason to put off TTC but I wonder if it would amplify my worry. Course there is also the very real chance we won't conceive but what if? December we are definitely not trying that would be on top of DS's birthday and its already an expensive month LOL. Anyway just need some advice I guess. I know ultimately its up to us. Thanks for listening.

missy123 · #2 November 14th, 2009, 08:33 PM

Jessi - If it will upset you too much to have edd's around the same timeframe then I would take a month break. You have a hard decision to make. You should do what you feel in your heart is the right thing for you.

TeresaSuperMama · #3 November 14th, 2009, 08:43 PM

I don't even think I can give advice on this one honey. Follow your heart. That's all I can say.

momof6lopez · #4 November 14th, 2009, 09:54 PM

Jess, IMO I dont think having a baby in any month is going to lessen your worries any. But if you are having a hard time right now thinking of another baby, then maybe the break would be good for you. I have three of my four children born in December and my birthday in December to boot. I know how expensive it is, I just about file bankruptcy every year in December!

Follow your heart, you are a smart woman and know what you can and cannot handle.

Kary♥RN · #5 November 14th, 2009, 10:15 PM

Jessi...HUGS, This is only my choice, I had to make the choice to try this cycle. While since my three losses have thrown off my cycles... If we did concieve this cycle it will be the end of July. My Due date with my first loss would of been July 14th. I looked at it this way... I am running out of months... My first loss was Conception Oct, Nov 11, EDD July 14th. Second loss Conception Dec, Jan 29th, EDD Sept 18th. My third loss Conception Aug, Sept 4 m/c, EDD May 10th. So I am running out of months. I have to take what is given to me. If I try to plan around the remaining months... I don't think I would ever concieve. So No matter what the EDD will be.. We have made the choice to continue. Nothing is set in stone, we of all people know this... not that it makes what we have to think about less.. But follow your heart, you know what you can do and handle. Good Luck! HUGS!

Mel1979 · #6 November 15th, 2009, 12:48 AM

I don't really have any advice but wanted to give you a big

I'm sure you will make the right decision for your family.

For what it's worth, I totally agree with Kary and we decided to just keep on trying every month as I don't think it lessens the anxiety by being due around the same time but only you know how it will make you feel.

farasha · #7 November 15th, 2009, 06:55 AM

HUGS. I'm sure whatever you do, it'll be the right decision. I guess the way I think about it is, there may not really be a best time for a baby - and trying to avoid a date is completely understandable, but may delay having a baby. If that's ok with you, then that's good. You just need to do a feeling check to make sure you won't feel that you missed out and regret waiting. Good luck!

JessP · #8 November 15th, 2009, 07:40 AM

Thanks ladies. We still have time to decide so I am just thinking about going with how I feel and see. Course still waiting on AF to show this month grrrr.

..Penelope.. · #9 November 15th, 2009, 09:20 AM

I know I'm not in your actual shoes, but I do understand first hand how HARD it is to put off TTC after you've started (especially after a loss/losses). I'm sorry that I don't have any advice for you. For Jeff and I, in the end, it came down to following our hearts. We still had the same worries as we did when we were preventing - money, school, etc. - but none of them were bigger then our desire for a child. I know that you and your DH will make the right decision for you!

honey!

Celena · #10 November 15th, 2009, 01:54 PM

Jessi I know I'm late to this, but I want to tell you that allot similar thoughts have also crossed my mind and heart... but I'm telling ya it's different for each of us and how strong our feelings are on each "thing." I hope you find in your heart the right answers for you.

As far as the conception and birth timing, I don't think that is going to exacerbate or reduce your worries and fears... our losses leave us different period. But at the same time you know what you can and cannot handle, so that is something entirely up to you if you think it would effect you either way. None of us can really say because we're not you. I wish it were easier and that I had the answers... I would totally give them to you!

If it were me, I would continue to try because there is no guarentee that we would or wouldn't concieve... so why not continue to "try." Our fertile windows are so small each month that it's not surprising it takes months. So don't give up there lady... but I think we can all understand your decision either way!

JessP · #11 November 15th, 2009, 02:04 PM

Thanks P and Celena

.
I did talk to DH today and he feels that there is no reason to put it off. He only thinks it will make things more special. We shall see what happens. Apparently my cycle clock is going back to 30 day cycles or so it would seem since I was due yesterday and still barely getting this train moving. I am taking that as a good sign that my body is getting back on track.

Celena · #12 November 15th, 2009, 02:07 PM

Jessi I'm so glad to hear that, I was going to say that it might make things bittersweet...

I'm very happy to hear that y'all are going to continue to try! YAY!

~InHisHands~ · #13 November 15th, 2009, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessP

Thanks P and Celena

.
I did talk to DH today and he feels that there is no reason to put it off. He only thinks it will make things more special. We shall see what happens. Apparently my cycle clock is going back to 30 day cycles or so it would seem since I was due yesterday and still barely getting this train moving. I am taking that as a good sign that my body is getting back on track.

My thoughts exactly. I'd recommend praying about it... the Lord will guide you.