What did I do wrong? Or was there no egg?

*MomofO&Nat* · #1 November 19th, 2009, 11:36 AM

I keep going over and over last month's cycle in my head. I just can't figure out what went wrong. I don't temp, but I did use OPKs and tracked my CM. I had painful painful O so I thought for sure the egg was there, since it hurt like crazy for almost 24 hours on my left side and then suddenly stopped. We BD Tuesday-Friday and the painful days were Wednesday/Thursday, pain stopped Friday a.m. I am wondering if the egg was there Friday and I should have BD one more day on Saturday to make sure it got fertilized. Now I am so mad that we probably blew it by stopping a day too early. I guess my question is does anyone else have really painful O and if so, does that mean the egg is trying to pop out but can't hence all the pain? Maybe it never really popped out because I didn't have as much CM as usual this cycle.

I am so bummed, I really thought we had all our bases covered. I just don't want to mess it up again this cycle. Why does it have to be so confusing? I mean, cave women had babies without OPKS and tests!

TeresaSuperMama · #2 November 19th, 2009, 12:12 PM

I don't think you did anything wrong. You can do everything perfectly and still not get pregnant. If you are really concerned as to whether you timed things right then I would chart, but even if you timed things perfectly that doesn't necessarily mean you will get pregnant. (((Hugs))) I hope this is your cycle.

krystal g · #3 November 19th, 2009, 12:14 PM

Here's the thing: Even if you did everything perfectly there's only a 25% chance of conceiving each month. It took me 3 months to get pg the 1st time, 4 months the 2nd time and I chart, use OPKs, etc. The one thing that I *think* has worked for me is switching to BDing every other day. I'm not saying you need to do this, but the only 2 times we've gotten pregnant was every other day. I'm guessing my DH just needs some time to rejuvinate his swimmers, and he's only 32. Just don't beat yourself up if it didn't happen this month...it's not your fault. I've personally found that taking my temp and charting has helped me enormously in pinpointing my ovulation and just to get a good "visual" of what my cycle is like, which in turn helps me BD at the right time. I hope next month is better for you...it will happen soon. HUGS!

missy123 · #4 November 19th, 2009, 12:15 PM

You can BD at all of the "right" times and still not get pregnant. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

Trish36 · #5 November 19th, 2009, 12:53 PM

You did nothing wrong. Your bases were covered and it probably wouldn't have made any difference if you had bd'd on Saturday. There are so many things that could have happened. I've had so many 'perfect' cycles and did not get a BFP.
I do get pain on O day. I believe it is from the fluid when the egg ruptures out of the follicle and the fluid irritates your uterus. So whenever I have these extreme pains I know that I have O'd.
HUGS! I wish it was easier and our bodies came with some sort of button we could push and it would give us a message as to what is going on .

*MomofO&Nat* · #6 November 19th, 2009, 01:25 PM

Sorry, I am just bummed and needed to get it out. I guess I should try temping this cycle or next. I think I got spoiled with the last pg that ended in m/c when I got pg right away. I was hoping it was going to happen that way again, but I guess not. Sorry, I will stop complaining. I have just talked to 3 or 4 different preggo friends this week and each had no problem and it is just getting harder and harder to hear.

starrsgirl · #7 November 19th, 2009, 08:59 PM

I'm with you girl. It took us 7 cycles to get pregnant and we were doing everything right. I can always feel when I'm O'ing even though it's not really painful. We were BD'ing on all the "right" days...I was getting positive OPKs before I felt the O pain...but still nothing. It's frustrating to know that even with doing everything right, your chances are lower than to you think to get pg each cycle. Good luck and keep trying! I hope next cycle is your lucky one!

*MomofO&Nat* · #8 November 20th, 2009, 05:31 AM

Thanks! I know it is common to take a while, I was just so convinced it worked out. I think next time I just can't get my hopes up at all until I see that BFP!

momof6lopez · #9 November 20th, 2009, 06:09 AM

Im sorry about the bfn. I have felt the same exact way you have. I had my first two children without blinking an eye. then I had a m/c at 13wks, and it took me 5 months to get pg with my third. I had another loss before my dd, and got pregnant with her the first fry. Now, I have had three losses, each one about 4 months apart. It is so frustrating when you want something so bad and cant get it. I pray next month is it for you and your wait is over.

Kary♥RN · #10 November 22nd, 2009, 02:48 PM

Kelsue HUGS.... if you were to look at my chart.... I didn't nothing wrong either... But when I went in for my u/s... I didn't have any follies big enough to Ovulate in the next 24 hours.. So yes while I could of Ovulated early they said.... I don't I released an egg.. I got a + opk, I got a temp spike... but no egg... No egg... nothing to fertilize, no baby. HUGS to you... I know its hard, I know it is frustrating... I wish this was our cycle... I wish you didn't have to feel this way. HUGS..

*MomofO&Nat* · #11 November 22nd, 2009, 04:55 PM

Kary,
I have just decided that I am going to tell myself there was no egg this month. Is it weird that I only get pain on the left ovary, but every time it is the right, no pain. AND my son was from the right side. Last month was the left, lots of pain, wondering if it didn't ever pop out? This month is the right side coming up, so maybe it's my more active better ovary? I am hoping for an egg this time for both of us!!