My EDD is a week away... Focusing energies on others

missy123 · #1 November 19th, 2009, 07:49 PM

So My EDD is about a week away and I was feeling a little sad, more for what should have been. I poked around my old DDC (I know, why not just stab myself in the heart) and saw all of the babies being born. I should be them, I should be there.

But then I started thinking, I was due the day before Thanksgiving. Somewhere this Thanksgiving there are going to be ladies out there that have a miscarriage, that lose their babies, that go through all of the pain that we all have been through. I started channeling my energies into trying to find a way to comfort others. It brought me some peace.

Does any of this make sence or it is more like the ramblings of an old lady that has lost all her marbles from TTC?

sportsmom2 · #2 November 19th, 2009, 08:03 PM

I am a true believer that the struggles we go through are for a reason... We may never know the reason, but God does. I question things all the time and then I remind myself that the things we go through mold us into the people we are today and we can have a profound effect on people around us. I pray that someday my words may be a comfort for someone else....

and I can honestly say, your words have comforted me.

Kary♥RN · #3 November 19th, 2009, 08:12 PM

Missy... I think we are all a few marbles short... But that is why we understand eachother so well.. We all know the craziness that our journey has put us through! It makes perfect scense! I think that an inspiration to us all! HUGS

JessP · #4 November 19th, 2009, 08:47 PM

Everything happens for a reason and when its meant to I believe. I realized this week if we had been another week DH would have had to take time off from his brand new job. It happened his last week before he was working so he was able to be with me for everything. Thank GOD. I have seen other things too. I don't think you are crazy I think its wonderful you are wanting to help others.

krystal g · #5 November 20th, 2009, 06:58 AM

Missy, you're not that old.....

Just kidding.

I think that's a great frame of mind to be in. I know all to well how to feel sorry for myself and it's really hard to get out of that mindset sometimes. I *try* to take the it will happen when it's meant to be approach...not always easy.

My EDD was January 25th (rapidly approaching and not sure how I will handle it) but I think what bothers me most is that I envisioned Christmas morning with my family and me 36 weeks pregnant and everything being focused on the first grandchild...that's a depressing thought. I'm going to try to focus on all the good things that we have, and you're right, someone out there will lose their baby on Christmas. I've got to work on channeling my eneries...now I'm rambling...HUGS to you for being such a strong woman.

zkat · #6 November 20th, 2009, 07:05 AM

Missy,

I hear where you are coming from and It is such an amazing gift to be able to reach out to others when you are in so much pain yourself. My sister did this after her son was born sleeping. She spent almost a year reaching out and comforting every women she read about that had gone through what she had. It is an amazing journey and she is being rewarded for her selflessness - she is being blessed with two children (adoption) next month.

Kat.

noworries · #7 November 20th, 2009, 07:30 AM

Hugs hon. I think it wonderful to use your experience and first hand knowledge to help others who go through similar loss. What a great way to honor your child.
My EDD is coming up soon too (Dec. 4th) and it's really hard for me with the coming holidays but I think throwing yourself into something worthwhile is a great way to help heal.

momof6lopez · #8 November 20th, 2009, 07:30 AM

Missy, your not nuts. I too find reaching out to others brings me some peace and to channel my energies to something else. Wish we were having our turkey babies too, but we WILL have our day, hopefully 2010. We will make it through this rough part and come out on top!

ldovey83 · #9 November 20th, 2009, 07:57 AM

Awww hun.. I have noticed too that with my first EDD approaching in early Jan and all my friends having babies right now that it has been hard.... I talk about it and everyone is like oh here we go again type attitude... It helps me to talk about it.. That is why I always find myself here.. Everyone around me is sick of hearing it I guess... You ladies always comfort me..

missy123 · #10 November 20th, 2009, 08:38 AM

Does anyone know of a way to help others through their losses? Like with homeless people you can volunteer at a soup kitchen or donate food to the food bank. Any ideas on how to help others through this in real life? It seems as though women who suffer losses don't reach out for help which is so sad. If it wasn't for this group (and the loss board), I probably would have gone crazy. What do these poor women do for help? Do they suffer at home in silence....

momof6lopez · #11 November 20th, 2009, 09:14 AM

Good, Missy, thanks for asking! My spirits are good, because I know deep down I did the right thing. Although, deep in mind, I do feel like this will not be my month. But ironically, I feel very good about it. If I had not done what my heart was telling me, I would of been depressed and off for the the rest of the cycle. We shall see what is in store for me......

.:Shortcake:. · #12 November 20th, 2009, 09:59 AM

I know I've thought about seeing if I could start a support group through the hospital and have meeting twice a month around. It seems I always hit a dead end though. Hugs. I know exactly how you feel my Anniversary is rapidly approaching in December ... I don't even want to think about it.

missy123 · #13 November 20th, 2009, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momof4lopez

Good, Missy, thanks for asking! My spirits are good, because I know deep down I did the right thing. Although, deep in mind, I do feel like this will not be my month. But ironically, I feel very good about it. If I had not done what my heart was telling me, I would of been depressed and off for the the rest of the cycle. We shall see what is in store for me......

I am super excited for you and have a good feeling. I feel so excited and like you empowered yourself with your own healthcare and just took charge of your life and your body and your situation.... / end of rambling

Shortcake, I was thinking of that too but with so much red tape at a hospital I doubt I could break through.

Maybe start a charity for women who have had a loss or losses and need medical assistance to get pregnant and don't have the money or the health insurance to help them? What do you all think?

..Penelope.. · #14 November 21st, 2009, 12:10 PM

Missy, I think it's so sweet (and just like you!) to want to channel your energy into helping other women who experience a loss!

I felt like one of the only things that helped me after I lost Autumn was reaching out.

I think the charity is a wonderful idea. If you have the time and the resources, then absolutely go for it!

~InHisHands~ · #15 November 22nd, 2009, 12:26 AM

I think that is so sweet & that you have a heart of gold!

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123

Maybe start a charity for women who have had a loss or losses and need medical assistance to get pregnant and don't have the money or the health insurance to help them? What do you all think?

I think that would be great though I'm sure not smart enough to get something like that off the ground... BTW, can I join once you create it???

I'm sorry, my feelings have just been up & down since being referred to the RE. I keep telling myself that I KNOW God has promised me a baby but then I start thinking about how much this is going to cost.