[jensma]

I am currently taking a break from JM but i want to check in here and see if you all get this feeling too?

Was TTC a lot harder after your loss?? It took me a year to get my BFP and it was gone almost as soon. I never cried before, I never even really got upset, i just kept plugging along. Since my loss i cry every month when AF shows, it is like I am experiencing my loss all over again and I feel like the only thing that will fix this is when I get my baby. Do you all feel like Af is a reminder of your loss or a failure once again?? I know I am ready to have a baby and I know I am ready to keep trying. I just don't know any other way to fill this void that i feel on a daily basis.

I am trying my best to take my mind off of things and will be pouring my energy into other areas of my life that i have been neglecting. Hopefully taking my mind off of it will make the whole process easier. I don't even remember not thinking about having a baby.

Thanks for reading.

[*MomofO&Nat*]

Yes! I feel the same way. I did cry a lot when I m/c, but every time I get AF, it brings the pain back fresh. Especially when you really think this cycle might be it and then....let down and disappointment again. I got AF last Friday and I cried a lot. I think it is like we are still in the stages of grieving and the wound is still too fresh so every little reminder hurts so bad. Just thought it might help to know I am feeling it too. Hugs to you!

[starrsgirl]

I think it is a million times harder after you have experienced a loss! I just feel so broken. It was difficult for me to relate to women who were TTC and had never experienced a loss. It's definitely a scary road once you experience the loss side. For me and DH, it took a lot of the fun out of TTC (not all of it, but a lot of it).

I was an emotional wreck everytime AF arrived. To make matters worse, it took us a lot longer to geat pg after our loss than it did the first time trying.

[kitkat8323]

Yes i sure do i cried alot when i lost my little one and the two cycles since all i have done is cry cause every time i get the witch i keep thinking this shouldnt be happening i should be almost 19 weeks instead im dealing with the freaking cramps and crazy mood swings plus it doensnt help this cycle lasted 50 days so i thought i was preggers again so when the witch showed it stung like never before

[sportsmom2]

I did experience the "reminder" of my loss when I got my cycles after the m/c. It was like reliving the whole thing all over again. Now I have kinda gotten past that part and now I am upset because AF is here instead of a BFP.

Hang in there... it will get easier with time.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I agree with the other ladies. Hugs hun.

[KDD]

We were NTNP when I got pg, but we've been actively TTC since the loss. It hurt a lot to get a BFN month after month. After all now we're trying - shouldn't we get pg faster? It hurt a lot more in the first few cycles after my loss to not be pg. But now (after 19 cycles) I'm pretty numb about it. I never, ever test anymore because BFNs bum me out way more than AF. I've kind of given up on holding out hope each cycle.

[JessP]

I get very sad at each AF. Mostly because I feel like my body is failing me. We are not actively trying anymore because I just can't take the pain anymore. I hope you don't have to go through this to long and you get a bfp very quickly.

[mlyster]

Yes Kate it is much harder. Every month I feel the loss again and every month it seems like the hormones hit harder. I have been fortunate enough to get pregnant quickly (not that it has helped anything since I am now at 4 losses) but I definitely feel the dissapointment and hurt each month more than I did before. I think it is normal. I know I have taken my fair share of "breaks" from everything. The problem is even a break is hard because we know too much about our cycles and our bodies.

Hugs Kate. We all know what you are going through.

[alicenwonderland]

I totally feel the same way. I feel my hormone surges more acutely now.. and hormal feelings recently have tended to be feelings of hopelessness. It took us a year to get pregnant as well. It's been almost 6 months since our loss, and i feel like i'm never going to get pregnant again, and that if i do, i'll miscarry again. I have a bright spot of hope through the tww, then my period comes and i crumble once again. I hate pregnancy symptoms in the tww now. They make it all the harder.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but i can definatley relate, and i'm right there with you.

[Kary♥RN]

I have to say I agree with everything the other ladies have said... And with me... after every m/c my cyles have different signs/symptoms... the last two I have had SORE, and I mean painfull boobs... that NEVER happens with AF... Well they do now.... Just another thing I have to get used to. It is so hard every month. BFN's, new symptoms, knowing or think you know your body.... it is so frustrating..and hurtful. HUGS

[HopefulMommy81]

Kate- Yes to all of that, and everything everyone is saying. After my first loss in June, I really didn't feel bad- it was a total surprise, we had just gotten married, weren't even trying, but since then we have been TTC. My second loss in October was 1000 times worse- I was crying in the doctor's office, crying at home, even crying at work. I've only had one AF since and I knew I was getting it- we didn't time BDing correctly beause we had both had the flu, but even though I KNEW there was NO chance I was pregnant, AF still bummed me out, which in my head made no sense at all. So, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and I truly pray you get your BFP soon, and maybe it will help you that you're not alone in your feelings or your TTC journey. And maybe being involved in other things will help- I really hope it does, though I know for me TTC and a baby are always in the back of my mind, no matter what!